RickWG

A gal I know...

When she was in her 20's bashed her head into the head board & woke up to a room full of paramedics & fireman etc & gets taken to hospital.

Fast forward about 20 years & she's at her GP's, sneaks a look at her medical records. Finds the part about the head wound & discovered they had entered the cause of the injury "experimental sex" LMFAO!!

Brat1

Brilliant!!!!

Weeze

Gingerert

The day before my ninth birthday my family and I were travelling back from Hastings to London after a holiday. We stopped to use a public toilet facility and there were no locks on the cubicle doors. So my sister held my door shut while I peed, and after I was done I did the same for her.

There was a pillar outside her cubicle, so I leant back against that and hooked my feet under the door, balancing on my heels. I still needed extra balance, so I gripped the sides of the cubicle with my hands. A lady went into the cubicle next to my sister's and didn't see my hand in the hinge, so she PUSHED and PUSHED the door as hard as she could to get it to close... crushing my fingers in the process. Eventually I had to rip my fingers out of the hinge myself because apparently she didn't hear me screaming bloody murder right outside her door, and I broke my middle finger in two places as a result.

As far as stupid injuries go, getting your finger broken in the cubicle door of a public toilet's got to rank up there, hasn't it?

TimFountain

I broke my leg in 2 places and dislocated my ankle getting out of bed....

Mitigating circumstances - I had gastric flu and jumped out of bed as I needed to "emit from both ends" at the same time. Landed badly and hobbled to the bathroom emitting some choice words about my own clumsiness. Passed out on the toilet floor and woke up 1/2 hour later in my own vomit and covering in ‘fecel matter’. I managed to shower and clean up, hobbled back to bed and woke the wife, who initially was not too happy to be woken up at 3:00 in the morning. I told I thought I had sprained my ankle, she took one look and said “OMG look at your lower leg, it has turned blue” it was so swollen it looked like I had a tennis ball under my skin. In addition my ankle was at a very unnatural angle and I had a pointy piece of bone pushing out from under my skin out. All in all a bit of a mess. Had to wait 4 hours in ER before I got any drugs, all the time puking and crapping everywhere. Not my finest moment.

My sister had a weird thing happen to her. When we were kids, we were playing outside and in the course of an argument; I threw a small lump of coal at her. It hit her on the earlobe of all places and made very small cut into which a small piece of coal became lodged. No one noticed anything until a few years later someone commented that she had a small black mark under her skin of her earlobe. 50 years later that small piece of coal is still there.

hobbes79

I was driving an old mini in the UK when my exhaust pipe fell off. I heard it go and saw it in the rear view mirror. I stopped to grab it, not realizing that exhaust pipes are EXTREMELY hot. Ended up with relatively severe burns on my hand.

At that precise moment, my mum drove my, so I got a rag this time and threw the exhaust pipe in her trunk and I drove with a very loud car to the ER!

SultanOfSwing

Not recent, but stupid nonetheless:

Out on the piss for my 24th birthday with me mates, and at the end of the night, after a few too many, decided it would be a lark to give my mate a piggy back, so there we were running full pelt down Ormeau Avenue in Belfast when I went a gnat's wing too fast. Gravity decided enough was enough and over we went. He ended up OK, but I faceplanted right on the road just outside the BBC building of all places . Ended up with a chipped tooth (I think I swallowed the bit that came off) and a broken elbow. To this day the only time I have ever broken a bone! Had the tooth capped a few times but couldn't afford a full crown so now, almost 8 years later I'm still missing half a front tooth! I'm used to it now though so it's fine.

nethead

[QUOTE=TimFountain;9266703]I broke my leg in 2 places and dislocated my ankle getting out of bed....

Mitigating circumstances - I had gastric flu and jumped out of bed as I needed to "emit from both ends" at the same time. Landed badly and hobbled to the bathroom emitting some choice words about my own clumsiness. Passed out on the toilet floor and woke up 1/2 hour later in my own vomit and covering in ‘fecel matter’. I managed to shower and clean up, hobbled back to bed and woke the wife, who initially was not too happy to be woken up at 3:00 in the morning. I told I thought I had sprained my ankle, she took one look and said “OMG look at your lower leg, it has turned blue” it was so swollen it looked like I had a tennis ball under my skin. In addition my ankle was at a very unnatural angle and I had a pointy piece of bone pushing out from under my skin out. All in all a bit of a mess. Had to wait 4 hours in ER before I got any drugs, all the time puking and crapping everywhere. Not my finest moment.
/QUOTE]

OMG you poor bugger, you definitely win

Thydney

I once managed to hit a major blood vessel in my leg whilst rolling some fence wire. Never seen so much blood grabbed a nappy out of the boot of the car to soak up the blood and sent for my wife. She arrived and I gingerly removed the nappy to see a tiny hole about 1mm my boot was full of blood god know how

IcedGem

When I was 11 (just starting a new school!) I slipped down 2 stairs and managed to break my ankle.

It's not quite so stupid but at culinary school here we were cleaning and moving the tables around and my hand got caught between two corners. By some strange twist apparently all the bones in my hand vanished as I had no damage whatsoever, just a huge lump.

In general I'm just very clumsy, walking into doorframes, cutting myself, and burning myself.

MsElui

absolutely!

Dogbyte

Did I tell you about the tennis racket with 1/2 lb of lurpak ( I might add NOT ME !)

Michael

Never cooked french fries at home before but one day had a hankering for home made french fries so went into the kitchen to make some french fries for myself and wife. Put on a pan, put in the oil, cooked the fries, and after taking the fries out, forgot to turn the burner off. While eating the fries noticed that the kitchen was on fire. Wife put a cover on the pan and I got the fire extinguisher and put out the fire. No harm, no foul except for the insurance company which had to repair the kitchen and I now know what to do if there is a kitchen fire.

10 years later and had not made french fries since the fire, same home, now divorced, new girl friend, and got a hankering for french fries. Went to the kitchen, put on a pan of oil, cooked the fries, took them out, and forgot to turn the burner off. While eating the fries we noticed a fire in the kitchen so ran to the kitchen and like an idiot I picked up the pan to put it in the sink burning my hand. This time I went to the hospital and the insurance guys were out again to repair the kitchen.

Bob

Perhaps time to learn how to bake the fries in the oven?

Thydney

or get a deep fat fryer with a thermostat, which according to my fire cadet son are one of the main reasons for the drop in house fires