Sense of humour differences
 

Hi all,

Is it unreasonable to be worried about the sense of humour differences between the US and UK? I’ve got a very dry sense of humour, and I am being told my friends that people in the US just won’t get it. I’m worried it will make me feel more alienated than normal. We are moving to NY/Connecticut so I wonder if the East Coast and bigger cities are a bit more similar to us here.

Does anyone have experiences they can share?

Thanks!

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Unreasonable? Yes. Stop worrying about nothing!

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

You have nothing to worry about. You will be fine.

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Lots of people have a dry sense of humour. I am not sure what other type there is. Phnaar!

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Years ago I went to a party with a lesbian friend, she introduced me to a woman who was the women’s rugby coach at the university where we all worked. We all had a few drinks under the belt by this time of night. With a totally straight face, I said something like, “ What? Girls play rugby in America? “ Coach lady walked away totally disgusted. I asked my friend, “didn’t she get that I was just joking?”

Err, no.

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

The US is huge, and contains multitudes in terms of its sense of humour. Yes, overall it is different from the UK because the culture is different, but you will also find that different parts of the US are culturally quite different one from the other. I was always pretty well understood in New York City. Small town in the mid west, not so much.

As for feeling alienated - if you are living in another country, there is always adjusting that has to be done. The biggest mistake is to take the US as a sort of "UK gone wrong", just because we all speak primarily English. You are traveling to another country and culture, and if you expect things to be different and view it in the same spirit of adventure as if you were going to France, or Japan, or Mexico, you will probably find it a lot easier.

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

That sums it up very nicely.
23 years on and I'm still putting my foot in it. Mostly my friends understand. I have to watch myself around total strangers.

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

And as arrivals in a new culture, we have to be careful not to unintentionally give offense, or simply be ineffective, and not just in terms of sense of humour, either. Sometimes I failed to communicate effectively at work, for example, or get what I wanted/needed from my colleagues or boss due to my not having sufficiently learned how to operate in a US workplace. This isn't because anyone is doing anything wrong, but just because we are different. It's very, very easy to underestimate how different Americans are from the British.

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Your husband is American, so presumably he gets your sense of humour? What about his friends/family? If they're fine with it and you've not alienated half of your in-laws, I think you're worrying unnecessarily tbh.

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

He grew up in America (from age 2) but had British parents, so he has always been able to understand both. I haven't spent much time with his American friends, but have probably been more reserved around them than I would have if we lived closer and saw them more often.

Great to hear that it's not anything to worry about, but I am prone to putting my foot in it so still a bit nervous about being the weird expat!

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Don't worry about it. You will be able to get a lot of mileage out of sounding British. It all balances out

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Has every single British person you've come across in your life understood you perfectly? If so, you've been luckier than me! Some people "get" you, some people don't -- whatever country you are in -- whether we're talking about humor or just daily life. There's no need to stress about it. And there is so much British TV (comedy and otherwise) available over here now, that I think that has helped to broaden people's grasp of British vernacular. Over forty years ago I told a friend in NYC that I had been "really pissed" the night before. She took this to mean that I had been furious with someone, not having heard the other usage! To this day, she jokes about that language conflict.

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

What's ironic about that is my Canadian husband considers 'pissed' to be drunk while in the US it means to be angry. 25 years ago before we were married, we were talking on the phone and I said yesterday I was pissed and he wanted to know who I was with when I got wasted.

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

I think it has more to do with your social circle/ aquaintances/ type of work you do. What one group would find amusing, others would be shocked/ horrified by - I wouldn't need to do any more than visit several neighbours within walking distance of my home that I could amuse and shock different neighbours by saying the same thing, yet I can remain friendly with people with different perspectives. In other words if you work in social services department you probably aren't going to get the the same response to a "light-hearted quip" that would get laughs the police station. The same may be true (balance of probabilities) if you live in an urban apartment complex or in a gated community of McMansions. But that is going to be as true in California as it is in Texas, or anywhere else. Conversely I am consistently intrigued by people, especially colleagues and neighbours, who assume they know my politics, and are prepared to make partisan political statements that they clearly assume I would be enthusistically agreeing with.  Either way, know your audience! 

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Making fun of Americans with quick wit and dry humor whilst they do not realize can be an entertaining hobby. Embrace it!

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Mickey sums it up nicely. Please don't watch if easily offended.

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Interesting, I watched it. Didn’t understand all the words, but I got the gist. It made me think .. Americans are more evolved, sympathetic, and civilised than the British. And I wonder if that was Mickey’s subversive message here.

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Maybe that's the impression they want you to have, bless your heart. 😆

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Not setting the bar too high! :lol:

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Most of the people I know here get my English humour and some have even perfected it. One of the cops I work with has a brilliantly dry sense of humour which is why we get on so well. The first word out of the general manager of the 2 FBOs on our airport whenever he seems me is wanker. Maybe I’m just lucky, but the sense of humour with the people in my circle isn’t that much different. There is still some shock if I drop a c bomb though LOL.

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

I have totally suppressed by dry sense of humor. In the south people just think I'm being an asshole.

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

I've given up too, either people think I'm insulting them, or just don't get it. Either way I end up explaining the joke wasting even more time. Plus a great many Americans take whatever you say seriously leading to even more confusion.

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

These types of posts fundamentally misunderstand just how huge and diverse the US is. The US is not monolithic. I currently work with people from all over the world: India, Malaysia, Russia, Spain. I have neighbors from the UK, France, Indonesia and New Zealand. I have friends who grew up in Mexico, on the South Side of Chicago, LA, Queens NYC, Lubbock TX, Hawaii and rural Iowa. It's impossible to generalize. Even regionally there are huge differences. I grew up in New England and have lived outside of Chicago for over 20 years now. My parents live in South Florida, my sister in eastern Tennessee, my brother outside of Boston. My kids are in college at Indiana University in Bloomington. I've lived in rural Colorado, Phoenix, Salt Lake City and New York City. All of these places are wildly different.

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Noooooo... really? Places thousands of miles apart are different? Tell us another.

Holy Captain Obvious Batman!...

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

OMG! Who knew? Thank god you came along, to contemptuously put the foreigners in their place - yet again!

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Well, almost totally...:lol:

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Here I can be me :D

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Perfect example of a cultural gap causing failed understanding.

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Have you noticed how, when asked where people are from, on social media, most people state their country, while most Americans write the two letters for their state. This is because the USA is actually a continent of its own, surrounded by the North American continent.

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Surely an American would just pull their sidearm, shoot you and then tell you to “have a nice day”…

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Not even. It’s usually just “have a nice rest of the day.” So as night draws on, they’re offering you less and less.

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

In Oregon 72% of CCLs are held by men over 46 years old. Useful to know before starting a fight here.

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

I think this 9 year old lives there too.
Don't mess with her, she has 36 guns herself lol.

https://www.youtube.com/@AutumnsArmory

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

This needs posting on the gun thread.

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Great points, thanks!

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

This is what I am worried about...

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Try not to worry too much or you'll end up being scared to say anything!
Just be yourself. Unless you're a horrible person, then be someone else :D

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Don't worry about it. We Americans think most people are A-H. :sarcasm:

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

Now I'm not sure if I have subconsciously suppressed my sense of humour, or if my skin is so thick that I don't notice how many people I have offended?

I am reasonably certain that my circle of friends, neighbours, and colleagues is not particularly savvy about British humour. :unsure:

Re: Sense of humour differences
 

I have lived in the NE, where I understand you are headed, for decades, and have not experienced any problems associated with my somewhat off-beat sense of humor and outright sarcasm. If you have to explain something, explain it, it’s no big deal. Stop worrying!