paranoidandroid

I was trying to be subtle...Still, you're right though. I've no idea why he's under the illusion that we don't already know that he does it.

SultanOfSwing

Short on material again this morning are we, gents?

Uncle Ebenezer

Not when you're around, no.

SultanOfSwing

Originality. That's what I like about your comedy

Bob

Motorway exits with "suggested" speed limits, either they are the limit or they aren't, none of this rubbish in between...and what's the deal with these hairpin bends on the exits/entries?

Our local exit, it dips down and to the right so you can't see how sharp it is, there's no crash barrier and a few feet off the road is a solid rock wall...so very safe...what dunce thought that was a good idea.

3 cops to direct traffic at a grocery store...like really, nothing better to do that 3 of you were needed to be there?

Parking meters in the winter....which you can't get to because they're under a snow bank, yet you still get a ticket for not feeding the meter.

Parking costs in general.

kimilseung

When doing a 3-point turn, gits who just insist on passing no matter how awkward it is to do so.

paranoidandroid

That's right up there with the idiots that have to squeeze by your back bumper, as you're reversing out into the aisle, in a car park. Morons.

md95065

Cars with turn signals that go on flashing for a few seconds after you cancel them

Bob

Petrol pumps that say the hose can reach both sides of the car....but only really if you're driving a tiny car that is humping the pump can the hose reach the other side of the car....with the trigger upside down.

Meh, that was annoying.

Freezers which don't have a light in them, after our last fridge which did, I kind of miss it now.

Oven lights, what are the point of those things? You can never see anything with them on anyway, how crap are they?

HarryTheSpider

I hate it when I leave my ladyboys feeling like that....

HarryTheSpider

1. My eye sight, FFS - I thought this thread was titled "Peter Purves?"
2. Parents with kids in tow, who they ignore while on the phone to other oxygen-stealing low-lifes - no wonder so many kids behave like teenagers!!
3. People with guns who can't shoot straight - if you're going to murder someone, murder them - don't just wing them & hope they don't tell the cops... wankers.
4. TV presenters who think the world revolves around them. I've got news for you, toss pots: it revolves around Felicity Kendall, and that's the end of it(!)
5. The French Rugby team. Arseholes.
6. People who think I'm from Australia or S Africa - or Jersey (not the island!)
7. Business owners who think it's cool to star in your own commercial...
8. Commercials
9. Low sodium foods - really?
10. Self righteous religious pricks who tell me what I can and can't say - words like 'shit' mostly... pricks.
11. Sports that have a world series with 2 nations involved - even tiddlywinks is more international!
12. Daft 'play on words' for business names, e.g. "Chick Fil A" - feckers!
13. People who answer their phones with "go for Marty" - knob heads.
14. Anybody who takes me seriously
15. People who think an old house is "over 15 years old"
16. People who think $200K for what is basically a poorly insulated large wooden shed is OK to charge for a house... in a place where some of the local wild life like to eat wood - the kind found in large wooden sheds costing $200K
17. Bank staff who think they're helping by standing around in the lobby making small talk while just one of the 43 teller desks is in operation - usually staffed by the new person who's still in training... wankers
18. Banks who employ people who think it's OK to stand around making small talk in a stupidly busy bank lobby...
19. Security guards who are twice my age, whose eye sight is even worse than me - and who think they are a serious deterrent - so I'd better play nice or else...
20. American presidents who use the word "Malvinas" in public when referring to the Falkland Islands
21. People who won't answer my questions and requests for help - which is the only reason I ever come on to the forum, I mean that's the whole point isn't it? Jeez! Any advice on what to do about those arses?
22. That so many people here aren't aware that the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything is 42...
23. ... and still think digital watches are a new idea...
24. People who respond to questions like the OP's with silly and overly long lists
25. and use too many emoticons. Wankers:thum bsup:
26. Biscuits DO NOT COME WITH GRAVY - NOR LOOK LIKE SCONES... don't tell me otherwise
27. People who ask me why I'm not looking like Dave Chapelle seeing as I live in a desert - it's frickin hot here on a cold day you knob jocks, so I stay indoors, behind tinted glass - besides, have you any idea how quickly fat people go off in this heat?
28. People who are concerned my ickle car with it's minuscule 2 ltr engine won't get anywhere quickly or intact and urge me to buy something American & be patriotic. I've got news, starting with 'I'm not American - the accent's a bit of a hint' plus, leaf springs for suspension - even the Romans recognised this was old technology... and covering the damn thing in chrome and giving it a gun rack doesn't change a thing - lipstick & pig are 2 words that spring to mind.... along with 'sarah' and 'palin'
29. antiseptic wipes in the entrances to stores and basically anything with a roof on - if I'd wanted to compromise my body's immune system so systematically, I'd have eaten my dogs' various droppings for breakfast. Often. Which reminds me...
30. Hersheys - smells like dog shit. What the hell is all that about? And why?
31. adverts from/about lawyers.
32. which has me back to Hersheys again...

PS - having to edit postings to this site before they even get posted...
PPS - site error/warning messages, like this one: "You have included 19 images in your message. You are limited to using 10 images so please go back and correct the problem and then continue again. Images include use of smilies, the vB code [img] tag and HTML <img> tags. The use of these is all subject to them being enabled by the administrator."
PPPS - people who use too many 'PS' layers in the same edit - wankers...

HarryTheSpider

Oh, also

* Cops who are shit drivers - I mean, shit and dangerous - knob ends.
* Cops who aren't shit drivers but still text and play with those computer thingies while driving - smug knob ends
* Cops who think a black uniform is cool (in the desert?) - I'm thinking history here, and a little group of Germans, circa late 1930s, to about, oh, 1945?
* People who think Brit comedy consists solely of Benny Hill...
* People who say 'have a nice day' when it's 10:30 at night...

HarryTheSpider

and...

people who post 3 or 4 posts in a row
on the same thread
without giving anybody else a look in
that's just selfish and self absorbed
in the same way that leaving your shopping cart in the parking lot, carefully hidden in plain sight in an otherwise empty parking slot, but behind a pick up truck the size of Nebraska. Donkey knobs the lot of 'em

tonrob

This applies to all of the cops in our town. I find it unbelievable that they will basically commit most/all of the motoring offenses that they'd nab you and I for in full view of everyone. Arrogant clag-berries.

cindyabs

Harry bubala, you are too cool for school, but you're wrong about the biscuits, get over it.