Peter Newton

Here's an aside to our regular discussions....

My wife and I are getting married 'again' in October - our 'official' wedding. Thing is - we didn't publicise our 'legal' wedding in May too widely so we didn't upset my wife's family (they are quite devout Catholics).

Trouble is they will be expecting to see our NY marriage certificate!

Our priest is helping us cover it up (he's a good lad!), and he said we could get married twice, just get a NY marriage licence this time. However I don't want to screw things up with our pending AOS... so my question is, can we get a NY marriage licence, have everybody sign it, but then just fail to send it in so it lapses?

Does anyone else have experience of this?

Thanks in advance ;-)
Peter

bequibar

what do you mean? who will want to see a marriage certificate?

Mrtravel

Peter Newton wrote:

    > Here's an aside to our regular discussions....
    >
    > My wife and I are getting married 'again' in October - our 'official'
    > wedding. Thing is - we didn't publicise our 'legal' wedding in May too
    > widely so we didn't upset my wife's family (they are quite devout
    > Catholics).
    >
    > Trouble is they will be expecting to see our NY marriage certificate!
    >
    > Our priest is helping us cover it up (he's a good lad!), and he said we
    > could get married twice, just get a NY marriage licence this time.

If you are married, I don't think you can legally obtain another
marriage license.

Mrtravel

Peter Newton wrote:

    >
    > Our priest is helping us cover it up (he's a good lad!), and he said we
    > could get married twice, just get a NY marriage licence this time.

Am I the only one bothered by this.

1. Priest assist in lie
2. Priest recommends breaking NY law to get NY license.

Shannon

If it was just a case of the priest filling in a marriage certificate and having you sign it with a flourish of witnesses I wouldn't think it would be a problem. However, when you apply for a marriage license you have to list past marriages. If you omit this one you will be lying on the form. You will both have to sign it.

Personally, I would not want to do this. I mean, I don't think that the marriage will be recorded if the priest doesn't send in any information. I do not share MrTravels moral outrage in the least. However, I still think that subterfuge is best not perpetrated in matters of family AND BCIS.

At my wedding the priest had us sign the certificate and it was his responsibility to send it in. It was not a marriage license at all (That was his to complete).

Couldn't you arrange a marriage certificate for the event and avoid the license thing. Secondly, why not just spill the beans. In time, the true story will probably make the rounds of the family and those deceived will be righteously outraged on two counts.

Shannon

jcapulet

Is a 'renewal of vows' an option? I don't know how different a 'renewal' ceremony is from the 'first' wedding ceremony, or if the priest conducts it as if it were your first wedding? I have read about many here who get married in the courthouse, then later have a church ceremony. Just a thought.

Juliet

Mrtravel

Shannon wrote:

    > If it was just a case of the priest filling in a marriage certificate

    >
    > Personally, I would not want to do this. I mean, I don't think that
    > the marriage will be recorded if the priest doesn't send in any
    > information. I do not share MrTravels moral outrage in the least.

I said it "bothered" me... this is many levels below "moral outrage"

Mrtravel

jcapulet wrote:

    > Is a 'renewal of vows' an option? I don't know how different a
    > 'renewal' ceremony is from the 'first' wedding ceremony, or if the
    > priest conducts it as if it were your first wedding? I have read about
    > many here who get married in the courthouse, then later have a church
    > ceremony.

I think the concern is that one of the parents would want to look at the
marriage certificate/license, for whatever reason. It will take many
other lies to cover up for the initial lie. I think that they should
have just been honest about it in the first place.

Peter Newton

Thanks for everyone's feedback - I think we will go down to City Hall and ask them what the best course of action is. I will post again when I have the definitive answer.

We are not looking to break any laws and certainly do not wish to complicate matters with BCIS.

On the matter of being honest with everyone -- given certain circumstances with our families, which our priest is aware of and which I will not discuss here, quite frankly we took the right approach.

Thanks again and have a great weekend!

Clare

My parents are also devote Catholics. They are having a hard time
understanding the civil wedding, but since my first marriage has not
been annulled, we have no choice. I explained the legalities of the
90 day marriage after entry. It's difficult for them to swallow, but
I'm 43 and don't need any more stress dumped on me by my parents. The
BCIS has dumped all I can handle
My advice is to tell them the truth and show them the K-1 rules.
Explain that you wanted them to be happy for you and that you're doing
it 'right' for them now. Trust me, they'll be just fine
Clare

Leslie

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Peter Newton
Here's an aside to our regular discussions....

My wife and I are getting married 'again' in October - our 'official' wedding. Thing is - we didn't publicise our 'legal' wedding in May too widely so we didn't upset my wife's family (they are quite devout Catholics).

Trouble is they will be expecting to see our NY marriage certificate!

Our priest is helping us cover it up (he's a good lad!), and he said we could get married twice, just get a NY marriage licence this time. However I don't want to screw things up with our pending AOS... so my question is, can we get a NY marriage licence, have everybody sign it, but then just fail to send it in so it lapses?

Does anyone else have experience of this?

Thanks in advance ;-)

I don't get it. Where were you married the first time? Who will need to sign it (other than you guys, the preist, and then someone at the court). I would just do the religious ceremony and not worry about the license. The marriage license is something the preist fills out quickly after the ceremony, the wedding party has usually moved on ..... taking pictures, going to the reception. Her family will be so nervous and excited (and busy), they probably won't notice. It's really better not to lie or falsify documents, that would lead to a lot more trouble than your already in (by trouble I mean hiding the first wedding date). I think you will have to own up to it eventually, you'll probably all look back at it and laugh some day.

mrsm

http://www.limarriages.com/marriagelaws.html

Did you read the above Peter? It may be of some help.