I'll start.

My neighbour mows his lawn with his sit-on lawn mower, wearing only shorts and flipflops, no shirt, and a parrot sitting on his shoulder. Said parrot does not have good toilet habits and quite often leaves his business on said neighbor's back.

Ain't you glad you don't have to wash his back

Hey Sue ... nice to see your smiling face.

I live in Florida.
I do my yard work in flip flops and shorts.
And I paid the price.

Only in Texas ( and probably Florida)

Riding motorcycles in shorts and flip flops with a bandana around your head instead of a helmet.

Crazy

Then you see them figure skating across interstates well above the speed limit.

Could be worse. Neighbour could be naked or in speedos.

Also, you spell neighbor as "neighbour" ; that is unacceptable. I went to college in FL for a short time. I got a B in English instead of the deserved A because instructor took exception to me using English vocabularly and grammar.

Yeah, but are you covered in parrot shit? Because it sounds like you could be a whole lot more Florida than you are now.

Quite right too. What would happen in England if you used American spellings?
And your spelling of vocabulary is neither American or English LOL
When in Rome.....

The irony is that the little pocket grammar book assinged by the instructor said it was ok! I did not realize that at the time she told me why I got a B. After checking grammar book I went back and showed her the relevant blurb in the book, but she was a prissy stubborn person who could not accept she was wrong.

Australia too although they do wear helmets. Morons don't recognise borders whether state or national.

I'm sick of hearing "Where are you visiting us from" everytime I go into a shop as well.

They even asked me that once when I took the dog to the vet. Like I'm British and we always take our dogs on holiday abroad don't you know

Whereas in NC I used to hear "Oohhhh I love your accent." Which I much more prefer. I was "special" up there, down here I am just a tourist.

My brother-in-law is a Londoner, speaks with the accent. Everybody asks him if he's from Australia.

He always answers. "No way. I'm from Texas" and leaves them to figure that one out

Touche!
Either/or neither/nor and ne'er the twain shall mix.

Edit: note that I have intentionally bastardised Kipling.

Sometimes when I am not in or around Podunk, NC, if someone says something like "You're not from around here. Where are you from?", or, as a couple of weeks ago when I took little Miss P to see some historic sites, and they ask where we're visiting from, I tell them I'm from Podunk, NC.
I get comments on my accent an average of about once a week. .... Last weekend I shuffled things around a bit and went shopping at Lowe's while wearing a blue Polo shirt (a shirt I have worn so often that it is no longer in the best condition) and a canvas vest, 'cause it was just a little cool. In the space of 20 minutes in Lowe's I had three customers approach me and ask me where they could find something! .... I don't think that has ever happened before, even once! despite shopping in Lowe's pretty much every week for the past 15+ years.

They'd probably all read your BE posts about home & garden improvements etc., so assumed you knew your way around Lowes ...

On the topic of accents, I've lived in northern NYS for 25 years, and lived in Boston before that. Every time anyone in NYS asks me where I came from, I simply say Boston - secure in the knowledge that most of the locals haven't even been to Albany, never mind Massachusetts, so have no idea what Bostonians sound like.