Speedwell

You know, it's funny; we talked via Skype to my husband's niece yesterday, who was visiting "home" for the holidays after spending a year and a half in Australia with her partner, who is also from the same small Northern Ireland town. She was shocked that my husband and I want to move back, and she laughed. But then again she's literally half our age. I asked her if she'd be willing to move with her partner to Texas, and she said, "Sure, it sounds like fun". My husband and I figure that different things just have different weights at different times in your life. Right now, for us it's home and family and security (health care, public participation, etc.); for his niece, it's independence and adventure and finding your own niche as an individual. More power to her elbow, and to yours, for whatever reason you choose here instead of there.

Ulsterman in Texas

I can see where you are coming from, maybe in 20 years time I might feel different, but for now I feel as if I should have been born here in same respects, not that I'm ashamed of my Northern Ireland roots, as you can tell from my screen name I'm proud of my roots, but with at the same time I'm quite embarrassed by home too, my wife has never been to Northern Ireland, and while I'd love her to meet my family and see the North Antrim Coast, the Gient's Causeway and the Mountains of Morune, I would be utterly embarrassed to show her the murals and just the bigotry of some people. I also feel I have more opportunities here for work and so on.

koalabear1

Ulsterman,

You're not responsible for what other people do, so don't feel embarrassed about those murals and bigotry. I mean, I'm not responsible for football hooligans or whatever.

Just because the people who did them or are bigots share the same country of birth as you, it doesn't mean you should share the shame of behaving like that.

I grew up with parents of two different nationalities, and I was used to hearing complaints about each country, society and culture from a young age, so I learned how to detach my own feelings from those of my nationality. Now, when I hear criticisms of the UK, I will listen and reply as if we were discussing any country. Sometimes I agree, sometimes I don't, but I don't take it personally like some people do.

Oh sorry, I didn't mean my post to sound like a lecture LOL. I only really mean that NI has wonderful and beautiful places and I can imagine your wife would have a great time there!

Speedwell

My dad grew up in Soviet-occupied Hungary and left to immigrate to the US himself shortly after the 1956 revolution. He used to tell us stories about what it was like in Budapest when you had to maneuver around tanks and bombs, and to watch what you say in case some official decided you were dissing Communism. My husband and I planned to spend a night in (London)Derry the last time I visited him before the visa got approved; he knows I understand, at least as much as anyone can who didn't actually experience it herself.

koalabear1

The Soviet era was so bizarre, I've heard a lot too, not from family but colleagues in my former job who were from more or less all the former iron curtain countries, including a couple from Hungarian speaking Romania. She had to smuggle a violin from Romania into Budapest and then a different one back. The police at the border asked her to play to prove it was really hers, and luckily she could. They were actually getting the grandfather's violin back - when the new border was closed between Romania and Hungary, a lot of families including hers were split because quite a lot of Hungarian speaking territory was given to Romania.

That lady is now about 70.

morayeel

you hit the nail on the head for me speedwell. The older I get the more scared I am of living in the U.S with no safety net..I live in a rural area and without a car, well I'd be screwed. I am without healthcare and that's frightening. For someone younger with a good education and a good job the U.S can be a fun place, lots of places to explore and things to do. For me, a minimum wage earner etc its a rather frightening place to be!!

Michael

During the late 1960s, I was on a plane in Europe daily and about every 6 months I had to drive to East Germany. East Germany was one scary country trying to get in an out of the country, traveling on the roads and hoping that the car didn't break down or get I'd lost, and was very cautious where I went in the cities. I was told unconditionally at the border that I can't deviate from where I am supposed to go. There were also check points within the country as well as in the cities where the police would stop me to make sure I was on the correct road to get to and from places.

The first time I went, my boss said to make sure the hotel took my passport and had it stamped by the police but when I got to the hotel and gave them my passport, they gave it back to me and when I said "I needed it stamped by the police", they said "that is not necessary". When I got back to the border after a 6 hour ride at 1 AM, the first problem was getting past the border guard who wouldn't let me enter the compound because the police stamp wasn't in my passport but even though he had a machine gun and there were tower guards, I wasn't going back to Rostock and just kept asking him to call his sergeant in the compound. Finally after an hour standoff, he called the sergeant and let me into the compound.

After I got into the compound, I was put into a 6'x6' room and left there until 7 AM when the sergeant came in and said they received a teletype message from the hotel to confirm that I stayed there. After that, I got a half hour lecture that I have to follow the laws of the DDR and then I had to donate my East German money or buy some junk at the compound and then was finally was allowed to leave East Germany.

In the hotel, there was a book in every room (westerners were required to stay only in certain hotels and not frequent local restaurants and bars) and the name of the book was "101 reason that the DDR is better than the GDR". An example in the book was that since the DDR has laws against discrimination, there isn't any discrimination in the DDR and all other reasons used the same logic. At first I laughed as I read the book but then I it started worrying me that someone would put such a crazy book in every room and if they did that, do they really believe what the book was trying to portray.

I never felt uncomfortable in Hungary, Czechoslovakia, or Yugoslavia but every time I had to go to East Germany, I couldn't wait to leave. In Hungary, the waiters were so obnoxious that I felt I was in Paris. Also what was very unusual was that East Germany was supposed to be the richest of the east block countries but everything was in complete disrepair (roads, buildings, etc.) and the citizens looked very poor but the other east block countries I visited were well maintained and the citizens looked reasonably prosperous.

In my opinion, today only North Korea would make me feel as uncomfortable as East Germany was then (North Korea is probably even worst).

SultanOfSwing

I'm kind of with you. I'm not embarrassed as such but I downplay the NI side of my nationality of birth (I just say "I'm from the UK") because I have tired of the whole "Oh you're Irish" (I'm ****ing not) and "Oh, you must hate those English bastards" (actually, no - my dad was born in England ...)

The murals are what they are. They are a part of the urban landscape and history of the country. By far the best, however, was one I saw on a gable end down Tate's Avenue way in Belfast which read simply "Reserved for UVF mural".

Short and sweet

markonline1

My ex was from Ballycastle. I dot think I ever saw any murals the whole time I spent there (I obviously know they are there, it's just I've never come across any). What did used to make me a tad uncomfortable was driving through towns like Bushmills where the kerb stones were painted red white and blue and UVF flags hung from the lamposts down the high street. It is however a beautiful country and I used to love the lock ins that every single pub in town used to do LOL

Ulsterman in Texas

I personally don't have a problem with painted kerbs, in fact I painted a few my self in my younger days (it was jut part of my childhood), however the UVF flags and so on I think are in my view threatening to some people, I have no problems with the Union flag flying as long as it is treated with respect and not left up until they are in ribbons. I think the thing that would make it embarrassing for my wife and I is the street drinking and general loutishness that goes on on weekends, and I'm not a self loather, I am still very proud of my association with the Loyal Orange Institution and enjoy bands, but I don't like the drinking culture around some parades and the paramilitary influence around some (not all) bands, I have also noticed with in my own unionist community there is a streak in it that is not forward thinking or progressive at all, they just talk about sell outs and betrayal, they seem to hate Catholics more than they want to preserve the union.