Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
Apr 17th 2012, 8:28 pm
#61
Sursum corda
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Richmond Hill, GA USA
Posts: 38,860
Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
I believe I've said this before, but my DH at the age of 54 gave up everything in his quiet and tidy (albeit sex starved) life in the UK to come live with me. I KNOW there are times he misses England very much which is natural, it is after all what he knew best, he'd never even been to the US before me. However, he's managed to cope pretty well thanks to FB, streaming etc. etc.
I said this because DH was of a certain age and while "they" say men don't go through menopause...........
. It IS a different perspective when you get to this time in life then it is when you're in your 20s or 30s......, it's not necessarily the time in life we're looking for a big adventure, but rather the place for us to curl up and watch the world go by and dream dreams of the past.
I said this because DH was of a certain age and while "they" say men don't go through menopause...........
. It IS a different perspective when you get to this time in life then it is when you're in your 20s or 30s......, it's not necessarily the time in life we're looking for a big adventure, but rather the place for us to curl up and watch the world go by and dream dreams of the past.
Apr 17th 2012, 8:44 pm
#62
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: East Seaxe
Posts: 72,686
Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
Just my opinion, from someone with a bit of experience in the area of that sort of behaviour.
Apr 17th 2012, 8:55 pm
#68
-------------------------
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 8,382
Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
I do understand what he's going through but that doesn't stop his binge drinking and angry outbursts that are destroying our marriage. I can understand someone feeling bad but not one day announcing a departure without any sit down heart felt discussion.
He took early retirement, got a job at a hostel as a single, no kids guy then met me, married a year then wanted to try for a kid which we were blessed with a yea later. Hostel owner said time to move on and he nor I could find a job.
I came over to the usa for an aviation job fair and took the only job offered to me. Have to feed the kid!
I do think that he won't get over the distress of being here. My hope is to get hired depaite the naysayers or get hired by united in a couple of years and do the gla or edi run exclusively.
I just want to keep my family together and sane...and not onthe govt tit.
He took early retirement, got a job at a hostel as a single, no kids guy then met me, married a year then wanted to try for a kid which we were blessed with a yea later. Hostel owner said time to move on and he nor I could find a job.
I came over to the usa for an aviation job fair and took the only job offered to me. Have to feed the kid!
I do think that he won't get over the distress of being here. My hope is to get hired depaite the naysayers or get hired by united in a couple of years and do the gla or edi run exclusively.
I just want to keep my family together and sane...and not onthe govt tit.
So you're a Brit too?
Seriously, if you want to stay together, and think he won't get over the distress of being here, then why not move back.. where you can both look for work? Makes no sense to stay somewhere that one of you is pissed off.
Apr 17th 2012, 8:57 pm
#70
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 12,865
Apr 17th 2012, 8:57 pm
#71
-------------------------
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 8,382
Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
I believe I've said this before, but my DH at the age of 54 gave up everything in his quiet and tidy (albeit sex starved) life in the UK to come live with me. I KNOW there are times he misses England very much which is natural, it is after all what he knew best, he'd never even been to the US before me. However, he's managed to cope pretty well thanks to FB, streaming etc. etc.
I said this because DH was of a certain age and while "they" say men don't go through menopause............ It IS a different perspective when you get to this time in life then it is when you're in your 20s or 30s......, it's not necessarily the time in life we're looking for a big adventure, but rather the place for us to curl up and watch the world go by and dream dreams of the past.
I said this because DH was of a certain age and while "they" say men don't go through menopause...........
. It IS a different perspective when you get to this time in life then it is when you're in your 20s or 30s......, it's not necessarily the time in life we're looking for a big adventure, but rather the place for us to curl up and watch the world go by and dream dreams of the past.
Apr 17th 2012, 10:03 pm
#73
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 472
Re: Hubby needs Counselor specializing in expats!
I first came here when I was in my 20's - bloody loved it! Had. A. Ball.
Made friends, traveled, ate, made loads of money (well, for me - I was a waitress) and had a great time.
Then my friends started leaving... one moved back to Scotland, the other to Ireland, the other my English pal had kids and her life was consumed by them.
So now, 15 yrs later - I get what your husband is going through. These past 3 yrs have been the toughest so far. It can get really lonely - luckily I have my other half to bitch and moan to (and boy do I) so that helps.
Anyway, this board helps - to vent. And I also found this - http://www.scotster.com/ - you can search for fellow Scots in your area.
Made friends, traveled, ate, made loads of money (well, for me - I was a waitress) and had a great time.
Then my friends started leaving... one moved back to Scotland, the other to Ireland, the other my English pal had kids and her life was consumed by them.
So now, 15 yrs later - I get what your husband is going through. These past 3 yrs have been the toughest so far. It can get really lonely - luckily I have my other half to bitch and moan to (and boy do I) so that helps.
Anyway, this board helps - to vent. And I also found this - http://www.scotster.com/ - you can search for fellow Scots in your area.
Apr 18th 2012, 2:15 pm
#75
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: Dubuque, Iowa, USA
Posts: 3,770
