Hello all,

Hubby has been here almost a year and is having a hard time coping. We are looking for someone he can talk to, a professional, about coping skills. We're hoping to find one that can understand the living abroad issues.

He's Scottish and finding a Scot would be ideal!

Thanks,
Donna

Nothing easy about making the change. The first year is almost a daze from what I remember. Been here nearly 13 years now and it does get better. Feel free to drop me a line even though I'm not a Scot.

Chug

My first year here I rarely left my home but when I finally did muster up the courage to venture out I discovered that the U.S. is not such a scary place after all. The people here are rather outgoing but generally friendly and helpful.

Many of us have found ourselves in the same position. Get him to register with BE...'chatting' to other Brits really does help.

Joining BE doesn't cost a penny, so, being Scottish........that should be right "up his street."

Most of us have had the same feelings at one point and have overcome them. It's a big shock to the system to be so far away from friends and relatives. Give it some time, and he will adjust out of the slump he finds himself in.


Jim.

How's the life of Compass these days now Pinnacle collapsed? Good to see you made it through the immigration maze and your hubby is here. Bad news he's having trouble adapting. I can only echo the others and tell him to get on here and "chat". It can take a while to adapt. In my case I was hell bent on leaving UK and starting a new life here so for me, the transition was quite easy.

We have both had sessions with a counsellor. He is a good guy to talk to, and has lived in many different places and specialises in people "in transition". We found him at a local centre (always busy) that is full of therapists. I think finding one that is as specific as you want may be difficult. Is there anything available through his job? I completely agree that expat issues are a unique set of problems, and I`ve searched high and low on the internet but have to say that BE is the most immediate way of getting some support and getting things off your chest, with many kindred spirits to talk to.
We got counselling partly paid for by our health insurance.
I`d recommend shopping around for someone not quite so specific. A good counsellor (LCSW here) will be a sympathetic ear at this time and probably stop your husband feeling in so much of a "bubble". Thats the only way I can describe the feeling when you are far away from family and friends and missing everything.
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more. Believe me I`ve been through it!

Even reading posts helps me, just knowing there are other people out there, not finding it easy helps.

I don't post alot but this place is a god send when you are feeling lost.

I feel for your husband, making the transition is not easy and I think it's a personal thing, how hard or how easy you find it. I don't know of any counselors but I'm a Scot, have been here over 2 years, and have only been home once. I've had ups and downs, many challenges, but I'm still here and feel at home here for the time being. Feel free to PM me if you like, I'm not great at advice but I'm a good listener

Please believe me, he is not alone with his struggle to adapt, and I hope that it's a blip and he can find his way out of the struggle

Bless,

I'm a 34 yr old Scot, pond hopped nearly 4 years ago and feel settled. Happy to take a PM if you or him think I can help ... and I won't charge a thing. I can tell him where to get some Irn Bru ...

It took me about four years, maybe four and half, now I can't imagine going back.

He can try a general psychologist. I had a few sessions. They tell you things like you will come to accept a situation eventually (I spent a lot of time 'fighting' everything). I don't know what specific help is best for expats. Some go down the path of cutting all ties with the home country and 'dissing' it. Others find that visiting often and keeping up cultural ties actually helps.

I agree with others who have suggested that you not limit yourself to only looking for a counselor with specific expertise with expats - it's more important to find one who is just generally "good" and that your husband will feel comfortable with.

I suspect that a lot of what your husband needs is to understand what the underlying causes causes of his issues are and to figure out what his real priorities are - this all being done with the assistance of a neutral third party who can help him to put things in perspective and then, possibly, suggest some techniques or approaches to help him deal with things.

He will eventually discover that most Americans really know how to live.

I've taken the best from both cultures and created a sort of hybrid life here.