Graduations

Old May 11th 2021, 7:05 pm
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Default Graduations

Help - i have no clue what the norm is here. My eldest will graduate High school next year but im already being hit with grad invites from friends

I got a fancy 'commencement ceremony' card from one of our scouting friends. I think i got one of these 10 years ago and worked out at that time that WE were NOT actually invited to the ceremony and this card was more for announcement purposes. Am i remembering right?

So my main question is - in with the card was an invite to a celebration at someones home. Its actually for 4 kids. 2 ive never met, 1 i know through scouts a little but they didnt send this to me and another we know a lot more though scouts and who actually sent it to me. I dont recognize the party address so it must belong to one of the three i know less well or not at all.

Im not sure i want to go (seeing as i dont know half of them) but am i expected to be sending a gift to the grads? just the one i was sent the note from or all? What kind of gift is acceptable? I know the mom best as she has been in boy scouts with me for 6 or so years - and she is German - so we both got on well as european foreigners lol. Ive never been to their home though so not that close.

I am also panicking that I am supposed to be sending this kind of thing out next year. we have zero family over here - so i am wondering if i can just skip that part lol.
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Old May 11th 2021, 7:11 pm
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Default Re: Graduations

This is totally foreign to me. When my daughter was due to graduate high school there were no individual grad parties AFAIK or gifts. There was a large party organized by the school for the grads only and another evening out on a boat sailing around Manhattan, again grads only, also organized by the school.
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Old May 11th 2021, 11:08 pm
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Default Re: Graduations

I'm an American but one whose daughters graduated high school back in the 80's where commencement ceremony notifications were not known.

There is still a full year before graduation and it is IMHO in poor taste for the parents and the kids to be sending out invitations to a party a year in advance. Yes, the girls went to a few graduation parties held by their peers. Those invitations came the month before the party, however. In our family, the graduation was celebrated with a family type dinner out with the graduate inviting a friend or two to join us.

As for gifts, the announcement doesn't have to be acknowledged and no, why would a gift be anticipated or given? Depending on the type of party they are having, again, I would say no to a gift unless they were close family or friends and then the gift should be given privately.
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Old May 12th 2021, 12:18 pm
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Default Re: Graduations

Maybe it's a Southern thing, but my wife has always said that these sorts of graduation invitations are actually gift solicitations. Certainly both her daughter sent them out.
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Old May 12th 2021, 12:54 pm
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Default Re: Graduations

A year in advance? As Rete says, it’s in poor taste. If it was me, I’d totally ignore it. Start to strategize & pay attention about a month before the graduation date.
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Old May 12th 2021, 1:08 pm
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Default Re: Graduations

Originally Posted by civilservant View Post
Maybe it's a Southern thing, but my wife has always said that these sorts of graduation invitations are actually gift solicitations. Certainly both her daughter sent them out.
Perhaps that is true but the OP lives in Ohio. Definitely not a Southern State.

I'm living in the deep south ATM and if I were to receive a notice, I would ignore it and when I happen upon the parents, I would probably offer my congratulations for the future graduation. For me, a graduation present is reserved for those that graduate from college/university.
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Old May 12th 2021, 3:03 pm
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Default Re: Graduations

Originally Posted by Rete View Post
Perhaps that is true but the OP lives in Ohio. Definitely not a Southern State.

I'm living in the deep south ATM and if I were to receive a notice, I would ignore it and when I happen upon the parents, I would probably offer my congratulations for the future graduation. For me, a graduation present is reserved for those that graduate from college/university.
Rete, MsE lives in Texas now.

I'm a bit confused. Maybe E is talking about invites for friends graduating this year and she is trying to figure out what to do for her own grad next year??

As for when ours graduated we had some family visiting at the time and I also invited a couple of friends I had worked with and some neighbors to stop by after the ceremony and just had a very informal back yard get together. A few of the kids friends showed up and then at about 10pm all the graduates went back to the school for a lock in Project Graduation night .
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Old May 12th 2021, 3:13 pm
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Default Re: Graduations

Originally Posted by Rete View Post
Perhaps that is true but the OP lives in Ohio. Definitely not a Southern State.

I'm living in the deep south ATM and if I were to receive a notice, I would ignore it and when I happen upon the parents, I would probably offer my congratulations for the future graduation. For me, a graduation present is reserved for those that graduate from college/university.
Oh dear. We didn’t give our kids anything, even when they graduated from college. (Except for all the tuition, room and board and spending money for four years.)
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Old May 12th 2021, 4:02 pm
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Default Re: Graduations

sorry - I wasnt very clear.

The kid sending the invite graduates this month. so i need to understand how to respond to that invite now. I also want to understand the whole process as i will need to do it (maybe) next year for my own kid.

and yes - we are in Texas now.

I think im feeling like it is a solicitation for gifts, and I want to understand how other people handle this. We are not family and actually not super close - so just looking to understand what people do in those kind of circumstances.
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Old May 12th 2021, 5:42 pm
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Default Re: Graduations

Originally Posted by MsElui View Post
sorry - I wasnt very clear.

The kid sending the invite graduates this month. so i need to understand how to respond to that invite now. I also want to understand the whole process as i will need to do it (maybe) next year for my own kid.

and yes - we are in Texas now.

I think im feeling like it is a solicitation for gifts, and I want to understand how other people handle this. We are not family and actually not super close - so just looking to understand what people do in those kind of circumstances.
Send a card to the ones you you are not close to at all and any that you know better send a card with $20 gift card in it.
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Old May 12th 2021, 6:05 pm
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Default Re: Graduations

You have NOT been invited to the ceremony - invites to that are issued by the school and are very limited for each graduate.

The rest is a gift grab - happens all the time, invites from kids (parents actually) you don't know.
You can just send a congratulations card to the one child you know
... and no, you don't have to attend the home party.

it's just High School for pete's sake.....
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Old May 13th 2021, 7:50 pm
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Default Re: Graduations

Originally Posted by MsElui View Post
I think im feeling like it is a solicitation for gifts, and I want to understand how other people handle this. We are not family and actually not super close - so just looking to understand what people do in those kind of circumstances.
I ignore them. Finishing school is the bare minimum I expect from people, not an achievement, so shouldn't be rewarded with gifts.
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