chartreuse

I'm sorry to hear this Simon. Hoping and praying for the best, of course.

I was fortunate, if that's the word, that we were living in the UK when my Mam passed. That, together with the fact that SWMBO's parents aren't getting any younger, was a major factor behind our move to the Panhandle.

Bob

Best wishes to your mum, hope all is well, I'm sure it will be!

Take care of yourself too as it's never nice to feel isolated in times like these.

radion

Simon, so sorry to read this mate, I am sad to hear this and it makes us all think of our parents getting on in years, mine are in their 70's.

Hope you get sorted mind wise...

made of kent

looked for you post tonight as I said I would reply.
I can't for one minute, realise what you are going through as I was close to home in the UK, and was allowed time off, in both cases mum and dad, which is why I found it easy to move to America, I only have a grandad to loose, all things being equal, my aunts and uncles so much younger than my mum, my youngest aunt is only 45 I am 39(chav), so despite the fact my mum was only 51 when she died, I don't have the same worries. (I hope)
but I do understand the despair, and you need to get the facts, ask you dad to give the nurses permission to tell you over the phone whats going on, and if there is any need for you to get home.
we used to be pretty good in ICU contacting kids and letting them know the score but wards are not. too few staff, I think.
a brain tumour, most are benigh that means they don't spread, as the brain is a protected organ in the body, but it doesn't mean that the benigh tumour can't take a hold, that's why you need to talk to the doctors or nurses, it will either make you feel better or I don't give a stuff about my job! I am going home!
hope that made sence? My heart is with you let us know what you have done! it will help others I am sure.

Twigstar

sending best wishes for a successful outcome...

Kaffy Mintcake

Simon ... my heart goes out to you. I'll be thinking of you and your family. Hang in there and don't hesitate to come on here if you need an escape. I'm always happy to talk and am sure others are too.

Ray

You Mum would probably not want you there Simon
different generation ..thay hate any fuss being made about them...

She will be proud and tell the other old dears in the hospital about
her son that did so well and lives in the USA...

DeanUK2US

If it's any consolation, I'm still here in the UK and can't sleep.

I've now lost both my parents and thankfully I was here to say goodbye. Although I was here the pain itself wasn't any easier; you just ache for slightly different reasons. I can see where you're coming from in 'not being there to say goodbye', just just remember that as long as those that you have lost are in your heart and soul you can still wish them farewell on their new journey. I lost my mother nearly six months ago now and I still feel like she is there... something that stems from the great mother and son relationship we had.

When someone far away dies who you love, they actually feel closer, so the 3000+ miles ultimately doesn't matter.

Remember too that your mother isn't 'gone' until she is gone. All the best to her and I hope she makes a full recovery.

scrubbedexpat097

Thinking of you Simon and your mum.

Stay strong and may all the news you get this week be positive.
Take care mate

indigoblue

Sleep is the last thing on anyones mind when faced with news like this.
Best wishes to your mum Simon.

made of kent

this is so true, my mum when she got cancer she didn't even tell me, it was only after phoning home over several days, and dad saying she out, then having a conversation with me, after day 3, I am thinking as much as I am daddies girl...he has never had a conversation with me over the phone, normally, "oh your mums at work, phone back at 10pm" or "mums out phone later! "or "Kate! H, is on the phone", in the end I said "dad where is mum?" day 3. he said "oh shes out" me "dad where?" eventually I broke him down and she was in hospital having a mastectomy!
when she eventually was dying about 5 yrs later, she wouldn't let me do a thing, I am a nurse, so not shocked, but she only allowed me to turn her! and only then, because she was sensitive to touch and I taught her nursey friends to turn her without touching her! and once she was so desperate for the loo, I had to take her, and she kept saying "this isn't right!" and before you think NHS! that weekend 8 people died on that ward, which is almost unheard of! (worked in ICU never had even 3 in a weekend) and she was one of them, the next day along with the person in the next room!

It hard being the child, after my mums mastectomy and my dads bladder cancer, (where they did the same he's out, BS! I used to joke and say "one day I confidently expect to phone and can I speak to dad/mum" and they would say " oh sorry H they have died!"
Us children are harder and softer than you think! we maybe in bits but its better than the shock of, they are dead! I only had 4 days for my mum, lot more for my dad as I was his carer,(he had, had a stroke) even then we spent a fortune on carers as he wouldn't let me do anything apart from finances, in the end he had to go into a care home, cos he need that and wouldn't let me do it!
and do you know what I have learnt from this? I will do exactly the same to my children, protect them from it as long as I can, even though I was cross with my parents for not telling me, and wishing I could have done more! I don't want my children to hang round and give up their life as I did for my dad?
Then the flip side, would I have done that for my parents if they had been bastards, oh course not, I wanted to do it, because I loved them and was glad for every input during their ill health, I was drained. exhausted, stressed constantly, but I wish for one more minute of that!

Deedee13

when i cant sleep i go for a long walk.. I find if i am home i tend to mope the house. Makes it worse for everyone else. I always feel no one understands the stuff we go thru. Its not just the food items we miss.I am not saying i dont like it here.... I do. I like the opportunities that are out there. But i think often about Dad. Think about the day that will come. But would i be more often with him if i was there. ? I am not sure.

Orangepants

My "stubborn old goat" of a Dad wouldn't let my family tell me that he was so sick and near the end. I was called with the - he's only got 24 hours, you wont make it back in time - line.. I made it back door to door in 13 hours from Cayman to Hertfordshire and he hung on for 5 days with me sleeping on the hospital floor until he woke from the morphine coma and said "if you think I'm going to pop off here, you've got another thing coming". We moved him to a wonderful hospice and he passed away peacefully the next day.

Your Mum is fortunate that they have found the tumour and it's operable. I have 2 friends who both had brain tumours removed very successfully and have no after effects. I hope this is the same for your Mum. All the best..

CitySimon

Hi All,

Just wanted to update you on my mums surgery...

I actually had the date wrong, she went into hospital on Monday, but the surgery was today. She spent 9 hours in surgery and they've got 95% of the tumour out. The remaining 5% is apparently very close to some nerves so that's going to be treated with radiation to kill if off fully.

She lost her hearing on the left a few months before they found the tumor, but there has been no other apparent nerve damage. So that's good.

Thanks again,
-Simon

joto

Hope all goes well for her recovery