who to bow to.... as in wai bow..
Jul 11th 2012, 8:13 pm
#1
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who to bow to.... as in wai bow..
I visit a Thai restaurant regularly and the hostess always bows to me... I always bow (wai) back, now I read on the internet, never to bow to restaurant staff...
why not??? I like and respect her
why not??? I like and respect her
Jul 11th 2012, 8:36 pm
#3
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Re: who to bow to.... as in wai bow..
I would just like to let her know that I like and respect her.. she goes the extra mile to make us feel welcome, I don't want her to feel like she is a servant to me, more that I am a good friend who she is serving my meal..so it's ok for us westerners to Wai to staff.. I dont want her to think that I am being "false" more that I love what she does to make me feel welcome.
Jul 11th 2012, 9:08 pm
#4
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Re: who to bow to.... as in wai bow..
I would just like to let her know that I like and respect her.. she goes the extra mile to make us feel welcome, I don't want her to feel like she is a servant to me, more that I am a good friend who she is serving my meal..so it's ok for us westerners to Wai to staff.. I dont want her to think that I am being "false" more that I love what she does to make me feel welcome.
Jul 12th 2012, 7:49 am
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Re: who to bow to.... as in wai bow..
Not always clear on this one but some general rules are that you should not wai to : 1) children 2) service staff .
Children because they are young and of no importance and service staff because they are doing their job and serving you .
On the other hand you should always wai first to people who are older than you when meeting them and reciprocate a way given to you in any situation ( apart from a child or service staff ) to be polite . An older person does not have to wai back to you though although they probably would .
It is also a good thing to wai as a way of saying thankyou in some situations when someone has helped you .
Some people follow all this more closely than others . As a foreigner you do have some leeway but if you have lived here a long time than you would be expected to follow the rules . An example of this would be how at family gatherings , on arrival I'm expected to seek out all the older people than me in the family and wai them , just as the younger people in the family do when they see me or come into my home .
There are many variables on this though and nothing is written in stone .
With your situation I would say that if you know this women well and she wais you then it's okay to wai back . Just use it as a polite way of saying hello. It may even continue your good service , who knows ? It can't do you any harm though !
Children because they are young and of no importance and service staff because they are doing their job and serving you .
On the other hand you should always wai first to people who are older than you when meeting them and reciprocate a way given to you in any situation ( apart from a child or service staff ) to be polite . An older person does not have to wai back to you though although they probably would .
It is also a good thing to wai as a way of saying thankyou in some situations when someone has helped you .
Some people follow all this more closely than others . As a foreigner you do have some leeway but if you have lived here a long time than you would be expected to follow the rules . An example of this would be how at family gatherings , on arrival I'm expected to seek out all the older people than me in the family and wai them , just as the younger people in the family do when they see me or come into my home .
There are many variables on this though and nothing is written in stone .
With your situation I would say that if you know this women well and she wais you then it's okay to wai back . Just use it as a polite way of saying hello. It may even continue your good service , who knows ? It can't do you any harm though !
Jul 12th 2012, 3:16 pm
#6
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 14,227
Re: who to bow to.... as in wai bow..
I don't think the OP is living in Thailand - just going to a Thai restaurant somewhere.
I never really wai'd to anyone; just shook hands instead which seemed acceptable to everyone. Mind you this was with youngish cosmopolitan thais living in bangkok.
I used to do that sort of nod and say hello to maids etc, where I was staying and I remember a conversation between two of them in a hotel I was staying in once (they didn't know I could speak thai beyond sa-wat-dii krap at this point)
mae baan 1 - "Why did he say hello to us?"
mae baan 2 - "Hes a farang"
mae baan 1 - "He's very friendly"
me, big grin - "Thank you"
So, while Thai's might think it's beneath them to interact with the lower orders, said lower orders like it when they are appreciated.
I never really wai'd to anyone; just shook hands instead which seemed acceptable to everyone. Mind you this was with youngish cosmopolitan thais living in bangkok.
I used to do that sort of nod and say hello to maids etc, where I was staying and I remember a conversation between two of them in a hotel I was staying in once (they didn't know I could speak thai beyond sa-wat-dii krap at this point)
mae baan 1 - "Why did he say hello to us?"
mae baan 2 - "Hes a farang"
mae baan 1 - "He's very friendly"
me, big grin - "Thank you"
So, while Thai's might think it's beneath them to interact with the lower orders, said lower orders like it when they are appreciated.
Jul 12th 2012, 3:57 pm
#7
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Re: who to bow to.... as in wai bow..
what's a farang ??
Jul 13th 2012, 2:11 am
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Re: who to bow to.... as in wai bow..
[QUOTE=Alan2005;10168913]I don't think the OP is living in Thailand - just going to a Thai restaurant somewhere.
I never really wai'd to anyone; just shook hands instead which seemed acceptable to everyone. Mind you this was with youngish cosmopolitan thais living in bangkok.
I used to do that sort of nod and say hello to maids etc, where I was staying and I remember a conversation between two of them in a hotel I was staying in once (they didn't know I could speak thai beyond sa-wat-dii krap at this point)
mae baan 1 - "Why did he say hello to us?"
mae baan 2 - "Hes a farang"
mae baan 1 - "He's very friendly"
me, big grin - "Thank you"
So, while Thai's might think it's beneath them to interact with the lower orders, said lower orders like it when they are appreciated.[/QUOTE
I think that in somewhere like BKK with younger people who are more cosmopolitan they probably want to try to appear to have western habits , and they probably feel quite comfortable shaking hands . Really that's all a wai is anyway . Just a way of saying hello exactly like shaking hands .
That would be different out in the sticks though . I think a lot of Thais shake hands because they just think that is what we do .
On your last point it is so true about Thais that they will ignore service staff unless it is to tell them to do something . The more money they have the worse they are . It's like as soon as you get one niche up the ladder it gives you the right to treat everyone below you like crap . Not everyone is like this of course but i often think the most genuine Thai people are the poorer ones . You could probably say that anywhere though .
One last thing and this happened yesterday so it made me think about this post . I was buying a plane ticket to the UK with my wife and the guy in the shop was really helpful and friendly and did a lot of work to get us the cheapest ticket . Like I said he was very polite and at the end of it all he gave us a wai . Bearing in mind that we had been in the shop for twenty minutes chatting ( it turned out that he lived near us and he was also a victim of last years floods ) it seemed only natural to wai him back . A Thai conclusion to a transaction where both sides are happy , and he was service staff although older than us .
Maybe I'm rambling here and you can probably think too much about all this stuff.
I did get a good deal on the ticket though.
I never really wai'd to anyone; just shook hands instead which seemed acceptable to everyone. Mind you this was with youngish cosmopolitan thais living in bangkok.
I used to do that sort of nod and say hello to maids etc, where I was staying and I remember a conversation between two of them in a hotel I was staying in once (they didn't know I could speak thai beyond sa-wat-dii krap at this point)
mae baan 1 - "Why did he say hello to us?"
mae baan 2 - "Hes a farang"
mae baan 1 - "He's very friendly"
me, big grin - "Thank you"
So, while Thai's might think it's beneath them to interact with the lower orders, said lower orders like it when they are appreciated.[/QUOTE
I think that in somewhere like BKK with younger people who are more cosmopolitan they probably want to try to appear to have western habits , and they probably feel quite comfortable shaking hands . Really that's all a wai is anyway . Just a way of saying hello exactly like shaking hands .
That would be different out in the sticks though . I think a lot of Thais shake hands because they just think that is what we do .
On your last point it is so true about Thais that they will ignore service staff unless it is to tell them to do something . The more money they have the worse they are . It's like as soon as you get one niche up the ladder it gives you the right to treat everyone below you like crap . Not everyone is like this of course but i often think the most genuine Thai people are the poorer ones . You could probably say that anywhere though .
One last thing and this happened yesterday so it made me think about this post . I was buying a plane ticket to the UK with my wife and the guy in the shop was really helpful and friendly and did a lot of work to get us the cheapest ticket . Like I said he was very polite and at the end of it all he gave us a wai . Bearing in mind that we had been in the shop for twenty minutes chatting ( it turned out that he lived near us and he was also a victim of last years floods ) it seemed only natural to wai him back . A Thai conclusion to a transaction where both sides are happy , and he was service staff although older than us .
Maybe I'm rambling here and you can probably think too much about all this stuff.
I did get a good deal on the ticket though.
Jul 13th 2012, 3:11 am
#11
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 14,227
Re: who to bow to.... as in wai bow..
This reminds of the time I was in greyhound cafe in siam centre and there was young thai lad of about 6 who said 'nong nong' to the waiter. His mum didn't half given him a bollocking (the kid, not the waiter) and it was most definitely pii after that.
Aug 8th 2012, 7:52 am
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Re: who to bow to.... as in wai bow..
Normally you don't need to wai any restaurant staff. However, if you feel nice about the staff and their politeness you can certainly wai back.
You must always wai first to elder people or people with a perceived social status. Waiing back to those who wai to you is considered polite, but you don't have to do it with restaurant staff or employees in general, but you may tip, 20-40 baht usually is good enough. But by all means if you feel like waing someone by all means do so. It comes from the heart, that is the thai way.
Just don't be the first to wai younger persons/ restaurant staff maids etc...
You must always wai first to elder people or people with a perceived social status. Waiing back to those who wai to you is considered polite, but you don't have to do it with restaurant staff or employees in general, but you may tip, 20-40 baht usually is good enough. But by all means if you feel like waing someone by all means do so. It comes from the heart, that is the thai way.
Just don't be the first to wai younger persons/ restaurant staff maids etc...
Aug 8th 2012, 10:01 am
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Re: who to bow to.... as in wai bow..
Normally you don't need to wai any restaurant staff. However, if you feel nice about the staff and their politeness you can certainly wai back.
You must always wai first to elder people or people with a perceived social status. Waiing back to those who wai to you is considered polite, but you don't have to do it with restaurant staff or employees in general, but you may tip, 20-40 baht usually is good enough. But by all means if you feel like waing someone by all means do so. It comes from the heart, that is the thai way.
Just don't be the first to wai younger persons/ restaurant staff maids etc...
You must always wai first to elder people or people with a perceived social status. Waiing back to those who wai to you is considered polite, but you don't have to do it with restaurant staff or employees in general, but you may tip, 20-40 baht usually is good enough. But by all means if you feel like waing someone by all means do so. It comes from the heart, that is the thai way.
Just don't be the first to wai younger persons/ restaurant staff maids etc...
) but she always bows when we go in and again on leaving.. so I just do it back. Also regarding the tip, we always try to leave 10%, the meal is delicious and she generally gives us a free coke if we finish the one included in the price. I've been to many restaurants and this is by far my favourite.
