Dave n Dee

Food for thought!!!


A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute refugee claimant outside the Heathrow immigration offices.



'My good man,' the fairy said, 'I've been told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in England with your wife and three children.'



The man told the fairy: 'Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.'



The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and --PING!!! He had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!



'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two, more wishes, to go'.



The refugee claimant now got bolder.



'I need a big house with a three car garage in Oxford with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in my country. I want to bring them all over here.



PING! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, overlooking the river.



'One, more wish, left for you', said the fairy, waving her wand.



I want to be like the British with British clothes instead of manjams, and a baseball cap instead of this turban.

And I want to have white skin like the British.'





PING! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans, an Eagles T-shirt and a Billabong baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.



'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed. 'Where is my new house?'









The fairy said 'Tough luck. Now that you are English, you're entitled to f*** all!!!!' And she disappeared!

bazak

Ha ha !!! Funny, but unfortunately oh so true.
Nice one Dave N Dee

Lionda

DENISE WALTERS

:

Lionda

This was just sent to me.....

BROWN,DARLING AND A DOG

Gordon Brown called Alastair Darling into his office one day & said, 'Alastair , I have a great idea!?

We are going to go all out to win back Middle England '.

'Good idea PM, how will we go about it?' said Darling.

'Well' said Brown 'we'll get ourselves two of those long Barbour coats, some proper wellies, a stick & a flat cap, Oh & a Labrador .

Then we'll really look the part. We'll go to a nice old country pub,
in Much Something or other & we'll show we
really enjoy the countryside, .......... Oh! & remember
not to mention the Hunting With Dogs Act'

'Right PM' said Darling. So a few days later, all
kitted out & with the requisite Labrador at heel, they
set off from London .

Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking
for & found a lovely country pub &, with the dog,
went in & up to the bar.

'Good evening Landlord, two pints of you best ale, from
the wood please' said Brown

'Good evening, Prime Minister' said the landlord,
'two pints of best it is, coming up'

Brown & Darling stood leaning on the bar contemplating
new taxes, nodding now &
again to those who came in for a drink, whilst the dog lay
quietly at their feet.

As they drank their beer they chatted about how
heart-rending it was that pensioners were being imprisoned
for not paying the council tax.

All of a sudden the door from the adjacent bar opened &
in came a grizzled old shepherd, complete with crook. He
walked up to the Labrador lifted its tail & looked
underneath, shrugged his shoulders & walked back to the other bar.

A few moments later, in came a wizened farmer who followed
the same procedure, to the bewilderment of Brown &
Darling. People of all ages & gender followed suit over the next hour.
Eventually, unable to stand it any longer, Darling called
the landlord over. 'Tell me' said Darling, 'Why
did all those people come in & look under the dog's
tail like that??? Is it an old country custom?


'Good Lord no,' said the landlord. 'It's
just that someone has told them that there was a Labrador in
this bar with two arseholes'

Justlookin

Not true.

There are countless people who are "English" who get the type of benefits that the press likes to indicate only those from abroad get when living in the UK.

Racism continues to flourish on this web-site with this so-called humour. Don't tell me its harmless because it is not.

suzis minion

It's only a joke. Get a life, leave the PC brigade and learn to laugh at yourself!!!!:curse::curse::curse::curse:

suzis minion

And I suppose this is racist due to the fact that "Broon" is a jock. How about moral issues concerning making fun of a poor little animal with a heart rending disability?????????

debandsie

Well said, couldn't have put it better myself !

Lionda

Oh lighten up