chrisw

Just thought I would share this with those of you who have their "moments".
I thought it was Wednesday ALL day, Until a customer advised it was Tuesday. Laughed at him and told him it was Wednesday, he insisted not so I checked my calender on the computer. Guess what day it said? Yeah, Tuesday. So then I didn't believe my computer!
What am I like?

keithwalters

Not quite the same thing, but I once turned up for my dentist appointment - I knew I had the right day and the right time as I had written it in my diary. The receptionist spent ages looking through her diary, backwards a few days, forwards a few days, but couldn´t find my appointment anywhere despite my insistence.

In the end I had to go home as they couldn´t fit me in. The girl called me at home soon after to say she had found my appointment. I had the right time and the right day, but was one whole month early. Doh!

chrisw

lol I'm NOT alone! Hooray!
Along the same lines as your dentist extravaganza, years ago, I bought a popular games console from a reputable department store for the kids which naturally went wrong. As they were quite popular, and in short supply, I decided to call the store to make sure they had a replacement in stock for when I returned it. I spoke to a young man who advised "I'm sorry, but we don't replace goods, it will have to be sent back to the manufacturer.
You can imagine the pursuing convertaion about "rights" Reputation" "loyal customer" etc. Well, I was getting more and more annoyed with every apology. The young man then added, " I am really sorry, but it is ( company's name) policy not to replace goods! I can still feel the hot flush to this day, because only when he has stated the company's name did it suddenly dawn on me that I had called the wrong department store!!!! Oh the shame !! I did'nt (of course) tell this to the young man, but instead said, "oh, it's not your fault, I know you have been trying to help me, I will bring it in as soon as I can!

Bigbhudda69

It all sounds quite normal to me...It's when things go right I worry...is it medicine time yet !

chrisw

Lol I'm with you on that Bighudda69! Keep taking the tablets eh?

keithwalters

Nice one!

I did a similar thing once. Not a department store but our local market. It was Christmas and I bought a banner that said "H A P P Y C H R I S M A S". The "T" was missing from ChrisTmas so I took it back the following week when the market was in town again. Only cost me one pound, but it´s the principle of the thing.!!

I went to the stall holder and asked for a refund, but he said that he didn´t sell this type of banner. I stood there arguing the toss with him saying that he might not now, but he did 7 days ago and I wanted my refund. In the end he just shrugged his shoulders and gave me a quid.

On the way out of the market I walked passed another familiar looking stall and then realised I´d just bullied a quid out of a completely innocent market trader. Sorry!

chrisw

Lol How small does it make you feel keithwalters? (cringe!). I can only imagine. I wished the ground had opened up with my blooper, and I was on the phone!
Maybe we should have another thread dedicated to "innocent parties" for us to post our annonymous apologies! Yeah, an absolution thread!

chrisw

Just thought of another one. ( I already posted this but it might have timed out, so if duplicated forgive me). I will try and type more quickly this time.
My old mum, who sadly passed away last year. went to stay with my sister and brother in law for a couple of weeks. They would always take mum out for a meal as they frequently dine out.
( just to set the scene, they can bit a bit snobby sometimes!) They had all enjoyed a lovely meal, and the waiter asked mum what she would like for desert (or is it dessert? I can never remember!) and mum decided she would like some profiteroles as she was quite partial to them. Mum was always on her best behaviour knowing what they could be like.
Now you know what it is like when you can't remember a word? You resort to word association don't you. Now as you probably know profiteroles are made choux pastry. Unfortunately, mum didn't quite complete the link, and asked the waiter for the "boot pastry" ! Oh how I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall and to have seen my sister's face! Good on yer mum!!

derbyflan

Here's one...

Whilst on a 24hrs duty in the Guardroom many years ago. I was the Deputy Guard Commander to a nasty old Flight Sergeant. I was a Corporal at the time. Anyway, we're both sitting in the Guardroom on a very hot summer's day. No conversation was taking place as he'd never lower himself to ask anything about me. Instead, he'd have me running around doing PLJs (p!ssy little jobs) all morning. Well, it was a quiet period and I was sitting my the front hatch and he was sitting a few feet away reading the paper. I watched a car drive up to my window and out of the front passenger seat rolls a very, very heavy young girl wearing a crop top and shorts. Now, don't get me wrong. I carry a bit of weight myself these days and have got nothing against the obese, but this girl, who was about 16 was M A S S I V E! And the clothes she was wearing did nothing to flatter her as her bare blue belly seemed to sway about her knees as she moved. I couldn't contain myself and just said out loud "Christ on a bike! Look at the state of that!". She was even carrying TWO ice creams in her hands!

The Flight Sergeant momentarily looked up from his newspaper and then carried on reading, ignoring my comments. She waddled over to the door of the Guardroom and let herself in. She was out of breath by the time she got to the desk - which had been a walk of no more than a few feet from the car from which she'd rolled out of. Looking past me and straight at the Flight Sergeant she said.......

"Hi Dad. I've brought an ice cream"

Needless to say the rest of the shift was not a nice experience

onlineamiga

Many years ago in the UK, it was winter time, and i got up, washed,brushed teeth, started eating my breakfast. Sat down stuck tv on, hmm strange GMTVs normally started by now? For some reason glanced at the clock.. oh s**t its only 3:30!!!! I thought it was about 7am.

Still dark at 7am in the UK in winter so the fact it was still dark wasnt an issue.

SmartiesUK

Once I was in the bookmakers and down to my last five pound note. I got it out my pocket and got a betting slip and wrote down a five pound win on "bound to lose" or some other name and rushed up to the counter just before the off and handed over my slip and, woops, no fiver! I glanced around to where I wrote out the slip thinking I must have left it there and saw this old man of about 70 folding a fiver up and as I reached him he slid it into his wallet. I do a double check of my jeans pockets and everything, no fiver. "Excuse me" says I to the little old bloke "but that was my five pound note you found" Of course he denied it and said it was his. I kept on at him and on and on and he put his cap on eventually and left the bookies. Well I decided no I was not letting him do this just because he was old he was taking the piss. I follows him out and when he sees me again he opens his wallet and gives me my fiver which I then go in the bookies and happily lose.

Getting home and taking of my jeans that night, well you know in the right pocket of your jeans you have like another weeny little pocket at the top

Hmmm, there was a five pound note. Never did see that old man again in that bookies to give it back

Mitzyboy

Bout 15 years ago when I was very busy at work, and owned a quite flash sports car, I got home at about 8 pm, drove onto the drive, went into the house to open the garage door from inside, rushed upstairs to get a shower .... dinner ... tv .... usual kind of thing .... bed,

The following morning I had breakfast as usual, got ready for work, opened the internal door into the garage .............. no car!!! How the hell did they steal that without setting the alarm off I'm thinking to myself, and I'm just about to go and call the Police. Then I hear this muffled rumbling sound, I open the garage door and of course there is my car sitting on the drive, engine running, headlights on ...... prat! How it wasn't nicked I'll never know!

Lionda

I'll never forget - when I was little I was given a sweet in a wrapper. I took off the wrapper and threw the sweet into the fire and put the sweet wrapper in my mouth. When I realised what I had done I cried - that memory has stuck with me for $% years Course I never do anything silly these days

onlineamiga

LOL LOL LOL how the hell did you manage that??? hehe thats gotta be the funniest thing i've read all week!

crispy

We had a red car, I asked hubby to take me to the village so I could order a birthday cake, he dropped me off outside the shop and said he would wait in the car park at the back of the shops. I went into the shop, ordered the cake, came outside the shop and thought Oh hubby waited here for me. I got into the red car, sat in the front seat reach over and pulled the seat belt across me think thinking "Mmmm I don't remember having baby wipes in the car, why would I have baby wipes in the car". Did seat belt up and sat waiting for hubby to drive away. Still sitting waiting for hubby to drive away, I am telling him about the cake I have ordered and that we can pick it up on such a such day. Car still not moving so I turned to ask what was wrong there was a strange man sitting there with an even stranger look of shock horror on his face. Realising I was in the wrong car, I started to talk to the man telling him my hubby had a red car just like this and wasn't it a coincidence that he should be there in his red car just where my hubby had been just a few moments before. I made no effort to undo the seat belt and get out I just sat there talking about the birthday cake I had just ordered and that I expected my hubby was in fact waiting for me in the cark park behind the cake shop. At last I undid the seat belt, said goodbye to the man and that I hoped his wife would be along soon so he could go home. The man did not say a word the whole time he had his back wedge firmly against his door, I still see his face know When I got to where our car was I was laughing so much, but hubby (ex now) who had no sense of humor could not see the funny side. As we drove pass the cake shop the car was still parked there and the man was inside it talking to a women, as we drove pass I opened my window and waved to them and said "remember me?". Gosh I have so many stories like this one to tell, I should write a book.