Rosemary

If anyone, especially dog lovers, is in the market for a good laugh look in the Italy forum at the thread "this is so funny." It´s the first thing that has made me laugh out aloud in a long time.

Graham

Dick Dasterdly

Yeh, it had me howling.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRqTCdyOUdg

I came across it a couple of weeks ago and passed it around, but offhand I can't recall posting it on here.

pwwm

saw it once and now it is no longer available, oh well cant show t'other half now

Dick Dasterdly

Shame, apparently there's a copyright claim on it.

fionamw

Anyone care to explain in one sentence what it WAS all about... ??

Rosemary

Found it. Go into youtube. In the search engine type klaatu films then the ultimate dog tease.
Enjoy.


Graham

Dick Dasterdly

Wonder if this works ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw

Dick Dasterdly

The above link now works, a really good laugh.



Now something for all you regular churchgoers,....

Hilarious Church Bulletin Bloopers

The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelop along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours

Dick Dasterdly

One for the Techies....

INSTALLING HUSBAND

A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0..

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5..0, MONEY 3.0 and FOOTBALL 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system..

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5..3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
__________________________________________________ _____________________________________

Reply

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1..0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3..0 and Hot Looks 7.7

paintermujer

This has already been on the Spain forum.

It is hilarious and we have watched it sooooo many times.

Domino

pse find link to site showing their Top 10 Epic Construction Failures.

http://www.constructaquote.com/busin...4P3971,1L0NY,1

Dick Dasterdly

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, it turned out
to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whisky maker,
but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from Tony Blair’s algebra class,
because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope,
it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was charged with
littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart
8. Two silk worms had a race.
They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking
into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is
a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other:
'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
'Keep off the Grass.' 15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small
medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes
inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that
votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary,
they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris
you'd be in Seine ..
21. A Vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry sir,
only one carri-on allowed per passenger.'
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says
'Dam!'
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have
your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The
other says 'Are you sure’? The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive'.
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a
root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
26. There was a person who sent ten puns to friends with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten
did.

Jur

Thank you, that just made my day!

megmet

This is another one from U-Tube, it's the funniest thing I've seen for a long time.

http://youtu.be/cqxTUxzOceE