Lynn R

I knowone British couple who came to live near me about 3 years ago. They had 2 children, one of secondary school age and one at primary school.

The wife continued her job in the UK as ground crew for an airline (on a job share basis, 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off, returning to Spain for the 2 weeks she wasn't working). The husband set himself up as a painter and decorator (with no experience other than working on his own house, he had previously been an airport baggage handler). Neither of them spoke more than a few words of Spanish and they made no attempt to learn.

At first they went to live in a rural area, sending their kids to the nearest village schools, but within a year decided that location wasn't for them, and moved into the large town where I live, moving their children to different schools in the process.

Unsurprisingly the husband failed to find enough work to support them, and they returned to the UK after about another year, renting a property in a different town to the one where the children had grown up.

So those kids had attended four different schools in less than 3 years, I felt so sorry for them being dragged around from pillar to post like that. I remember finding the transition from primary to secondary school daunting enough, without being plunged into schooling in a foreign language and knowing abolutely no-one.

agoreira

If it's done correctly, lots of homework, lots of spare money, it can indeed work well. A classic example of how to do everything totally wrong was highlighted yesterday for us. Some friends and ex neighbours decided to move to Portugal, having done very little homework. They went on an inspection trip to some remote place in the middle of Portugal, because that's where they could afford a place outright. My advice to rent, and certainly not to buy anything on a 5 day inspection trip was ignored, they came back telling me they put a deposit on a house. I told my wife it's bound to end in tears, especially as the wife wasn't anywhere near as keen as her husband. 2 years on, the wife is back here to see her daughter, she tells us house is on the market, she hates it there. This time of the year the house is freezing, apart from the room where they have a log burner, she hated 40 plus temps in the summer. "I'd love to be able to just flick the central heating switch again!" She reckons she often just sits down and cries, "What am I doing here?" She says, "we don't go anywhere, we don't do anything, our highlight is a monthly trip to a car boot sale". The house they bought had a part finished extension, and having finished it, it turns out it's illegal, there was no planning permission for it. As I said, how to do everything totally wrong, but she looks a totally different woman, a beaten woman, drawn and sad, I only hope they can pick up the pieces and sort it all out. Thankfully, not everyone gets it this badly wrong, but certainly a lesson in how not to do it. And that's without any kids!

HBG

I was trying to be more circumspect, or more cowardly in my post, more sensible wouldn ‘t be apt. I’ve read some terrible posts on this forum concerning people bringing children to Spain.

I’m going to quote an example I have personal knowledge of. An Irish couple who became good friends brought over their eight-year old son. The parents were both employed in IT in Dublin and could easily have continued their careers in Spain, from Spain would be more appropriate.

They had decided to take a year off anyway, bought a home next to the sea, bought a flash convertible, joined the local clubs and enjoyed a great social life.

They sent their son to the local school and carried on partying.

Nine months later, the parents asked me for help. Their son was being badly bullied at school. I knew the boy, a rather soft kid from a privileged Irish background. We spoke to the head teacher who tried his best to help, and the parents picked up the son from school four times daily.

The bullying got worse and the poor kid, despite only mixing with his fellow pupils on supervised occasions, still came out of school with black eyes and turned into a trembling wreck.

The responsible parents returned to Ireland before their intended year in the sun was up, sadder and wiser.

That’s the reality. There will be no red carpets for young children from the UK going to school in a foreign country, a punch in the mouth is far more likely.

Lushdaddy

You spelt awkward wrong.

marchena

Hi,
We moved only 7 months ago to Spain after 13 years in Morocco therefore french scholl for our 2 kids 6 and 8 in inland Andalucia, speaking only few words of Spanish. Our kids are in local village spanish public school and after only 4 weeks of spanish school they manage to open to the outside world and their new spanish friends. They do their homeworks alone as we are of little help and are quite happy with their new friends. Their votes at the end of December were great and I still ask myself how did they manage. Both my husband and myself work from home as autonomo being in the same time in the country side, beutiful garden, long walks and quiet life. So for the time being our spanish experience is more than good and our spanish is improving slowly. We love being here and we do not mind being far from the coast.

gill556

I have an Aspergers grandson and Spain is the last place I would want him to live, they do not like change at the best of times but to take him away from everything and everyone he knows seems to be quite cruel to me, English children are continually bullied in our local schools and yet again this morning another family with 3 children have left due to the school situation and lack of work. I would think very carefully before dragging kids in to a lifestyle that they will find difficult to adjust to.

SaratonyT

Who,s dragging anyone????? What an uninformed, unhelpful reply! if you had read my post you would see that we have been preparing our move for several years. The assumption that us parents are moving without considering the needs of our children in unfair. The purpose of this forum is to help and give advice - positive or negative - not to have a go at individual people when you do not know them or the facts!!! Shame on you!!!!

Mitzyboy

Err ... I think the poster is actually giving you their opinion based on their experiences in Spain, so it's not really uninformed ..... just an alternative opinion, and I dont think she was having a go at you

gill556

Thank You, I really do feel that some parents just do not have any idea of how it is here in Spain, there is no help at all, either in welfare benefits, not entitled to your family allowance or dvla from the UK, I know you say you have done a lot of research, so did I for 7 years before we moved here 7 years ago and believe me you will never know what it is like until you live here. You will not be covered for health insurance unless you work and pay in to the system here. It cost my daughter 500 pounds last week for a private consultation with the person who writes all the books for the NHS on Aspergers, she has an appointment for next month with a top specialist, another 630 pounds but at least in the UK she knows where to go and who to see, here there is very little, the only day care centre for disabled children is a 70 kilometre round trip each day from the coast. We used to have 45 children on the school bus each day and we now have 6, unfortunately all those families thought they could make a go of living in Spain and have gone back not only with nothing but in debt. All I am saying is don't lose everything that you already have for a dream life that can easily turn in to a nightmare

scampicat

I agree. My son (31) has AS and even at his age he still does not like change, even things like moving the furniture or decorating throw him, although he is now mature enough to deal with it.

Moving as a child to a foreign country where he did not know the language and then attending a school where everyone spoke that language would have completely floored him; he would have been bullied so much too (he was in the UK).

Please do not bring an Aspie child here if at all possible until he has finished his education, or failing that, send him to an English-speaking school so there is at least ONE thing that doesn't change. (Unless of course he speaks Spanish). I know my son would not have coped with all those changes all at once.

Our son was in his twenties when we left, and stayed in the UK!

cricketman

It's good to hear a bit of realism for a change

The rule of thumb that I use (and my friends who live out of the UK) is only move to a new location/country if 1 of the 2 people in the couple already have a job/income in the new location.

Otherwise it is a recipe for disaster, especially in Spain where you must be employed/self-employed in order to get healthcare, benefits etc.

I would also only move to a country I spoke the language in, but it seems that is just me!

SaratonyT

Thanks for the advice regarding Aspergers, however, my son is NOT disabled - he has aspergers sydrome - we do not currently receive any allowances for him, neither would I ever expect any. He can speak spanish, in fact, of my three children he has picked it up quickest. We have spoken to our local school and the education authority in Spain and we are pleased that he will not be put into a special unit or such like. Maybe the other aspies mentioned are less functioning than my son. I just think that unless you know the whole story about someone, jumping to conclusions and berating them for their decision is unfair. Maybe I am being too sensitive, but my post was referred to when the post was made and the comments that we were being cruel by 'dragging' our children to Spain was inappropriate and upsetting.

JLFS

But "cotorreos" right....

JLFS

Good post, and it applies to every parent, even the ones with children with no medical problems

Mitzyboy

I think it's just a figure of speech

I've seen discussions before on aspergers and Spain, and it seems there is very little backup ... so in effect your child can be put in with the rest and treated similarly. As you say, there may well be degrees of how people are affected. I can only judge by my nephews 10 year old in the UK. To all intents you would think she is completely the same as any other child, yet even at her local school she fails to cope without extra attention. Obviously the message coming to you here is that your child may not get any extra attention at all, and if she can cope with that then all is well I guess.