After the extreme hassle with the US border people the last time, I vowed never to return anyway. Mind you, did I tell you about flying back from Stansted last Saturday?

Needless to say my hand luggage was put on the list to be searched by those goons wearing gloves. I suffered in silence while one goon removed the liquid items like toothpaste to be put in a separate plastic bag.

A young South American couple next to me explained to their searcher that they only had five minutes to catch their plane. The goon smiled and slowed down his search. I had just put my watch back on and checked the time.

When my bag was returned to me, the smiling goon was still fiddling about with the young couples bags and I stood back to watch. Another goon came up and asked why I was hanging around. I told him I was writing an article on the UK border agency.

He must have pressed a panic button because two police officers armed with machine pistols suddenly appeared and walked in my direction. I put my notebook away and walked off.

As I traversed the duty free shop, the young couple raced past me into the maze beyond. If they had told the truth about only having five minutes to catch their plane, they would have missed it.

I did write the article. You're reading it.

Those "goons" are doing the job they are hired to do. People know it can happen and allow more time. Arrive in the USA with an unpaid parking fine and you won't get in.

I've heard stories like this. Apparently, all international arrivals are subject to strip and body cavity searches, and if you resist, they blast you with machine-gun fire and then take the heads as trophies. It's true; I read it on the internet.

But what most people don't know is that all you need to do is tell them that you're a journalist, and suddenly it scares the wits out of them, and magically, none of it even exists. I suppose that's why it's difficult to find any credible accounts of any of these things ever taking place.

But if I or anyone I ever knew were subject to the obviously intrusive security measures you were subjected to (such as removing liquids from your baggage), I'd also never go back.

Sorry I meant about which cars are perceived to be flash

Actually those who drive old cars are being much kinder to the environment that those who buy a new car every few years

Making a new car uses as much CO2 as for 10 years worth of petrol use. And of course add all the raw materials and environmental impact on top of that

If people loved the planet they would buy an efficient new car at that time and then keep it for life

You cannot just compare the emissions of an old car with a new one. Eg.If HBG never changes his current car, the comparison to be made would be the total of the emissions of his car against the emissions of the new car plus the emissions in manufacturing the new car.
HBG is probably being green.

I have often wondered but never found out how long it took Battersea power station to become a positive provider of energy. The amount of energy required to construct it must have taken years to recover.

Nothing to do with incomers or Spain but if anyone knows the answer they will be somewhere on this forum.

If I had enough money I would have a new Mercedes/Bentley, whatever and f**ck the emissions etc.

I don't know about being 'green', though I have voted Liberal in the past.

After many years of hard work I rewarded myself when I fell in love with my car. It has a five litre V8 engine, but is chipped at 250 kph. It's not new. It's not green either, it's dark blue.

Why didn't I have the courage to say that? I was thinking it.

I think of myself as me. Collectively, perhaps, as émigrés.

Ok so on that basis i'm (a) an alien guiri marida distinctly non-pc housewife, who (b) drives a REAL 4x4 (as opposed to the pristine chelsea tractors wielded by the 'native' wags at school, and (c) due to my driving style and the fact we bought new and I'm as tight as hell with diesel use, Iḿ as green as a hypocritical pickup driver can be (yes??)

We won't mention OH's pressie to himself, a la J2/HBG(2), which is 5 litre & absolutely RAVED about by one J Clarkson........................

Bet you were sweating buckets when they put their rubber gloves on.

Something more modest for me, but certainly a new set of wheels every two years, and to hell with the expense and emissions. The little bits we cut back on are drops in the ocean compared with what the likes of China, the Yanks etc pump out. Don't mind doing my bit, but if nobody else is taking it serious, why should I?

Be careful, you could be accused of being wealthy (or at least supporting the notion that it might be OK to have a bit of money).

But don't worry, I don't believe it's illegal quite yet. Maybe next year.

I bought a new car recently - and got something more modest because I wouldnt be comfortable parking a flashy car just anywhere. Given that a lot of people touch park and their keys get jealous I didnt want to cause myself any more trouble than was necessary

I also put two big dents in the bumper in the few weeks I had it so it wouldnt stand out