It is time to get the butter out again, no low-fat marg anymore.

Coffee with half an inch of cream floating on top, Irish coffees come to mind.

But remember NO SUGAR.

The Med diet is out of fashion, and it seems that the typical British fry up is flavour of the month.

A low sat. fat diet does more harm than good according to the experts, so why not get down to the nearest greasy spoon, all-day breakfast place, and order a belly buster brekkie.

You will kill to birds with one stone, improve your health, and keep the suffering Brit bars open, so that future generations can be super healthy too.

You know it makes sense.

They are trying to kill us all off in an effort to solve the growing cost of supporting the ageing population!

Watch out for more new research that finds smoking 50 a day is actually good for us, and the recommended number of alcohol units to be consumed in a day to be multiplied by a factor of 10.

No fruit for a bit either - very bad. Contains loads of fructose.

I expect it'll be a year or two till we can eat fruit again.

Just to be on the safe side, the big brekkie should be washed down with a pint of Baileys.

Not eaten marg or any of its derivatives in years, not since a chemist friend of ours told us why it was invented. Can't see why people eat it.

As someone on here used to say, everything in moderation.

Now your talking

And here's me thinking I wasn't going to be a burden on the State in my old age.

Snap.

A Chemist friend of mine, years ago, worked on the development of Margarine and concluded that it was in fact the biggest con ever played on the public for years.

I've heard that rumour as well. Just so we can be sure it's not an Urban Legend, can anybody say what's actually wrong with it?

In fact, we will be told it is our duty as public-spirited citizens to eat, drink and smoke our way to an early grave so as not to be a burden.

Somebody in a dusty office somewhere has obviously woken up to the fact that encouraging people to think they can live forever is not A Good Thing after all. In a pincer movement, as well as revising the dietary advice, they are going to close down more A&E Departments to make sure we don't survive the resulting heart attacks and strokes.

Was originally devised as a fattening agent for the turkey industry, it's naturally white so they have to add a yellow colouring. What is worrying us that it was withdrawn from the turkey industry because of major health concerns. I'm at work on the iPhone at the moment so I can't access the link to the info but I will later.

The last time I looked I wasn´t a turkey
Is this a bit like us not eating chocolate because it has serious health risks to dogs?

Hmm - not a lot wrong with food colouring either. We await further info...

mmmm, looks lovely Wait!!! They´re not made with margarine are they??

I hope not, that would put people off.