help need please, dont know what to do !
 

my daughter, who is nearly 40, has lived in Spain for nearly 20 yrs. She isn`t married, but has a partner who is Spanish. they have 5 children. She is now desperate to come back to the UK, she is being treated dreadfully, can`t go out alone, etc. She has no money, and no passport. She wants to come back and then try to get the children here. I just dont know what to do to help her, I`m not going to Spain till september. she said she has had enough, I feel she is very depressed, she also has her partners mother living with them. please can some advise me, she does have the internet though, but no landline. how can she get a passport ?

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

sent you a pm.

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

ok thanks

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

not sure if I can read it though, as I`m new here

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

Sorry to hear of your daughters plight. Does she have any English friends in Spain or does she only mix with the Spanish?

Rosemary

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

Get in touch with British consulate and explain her situation, they are the best to advise you in this situation re her passport and her legal rights re the children. I think given her status in spain, leaving and then trying to get the children to the UK will be an almost impossible situation.
Maybe you should think about going before September if you have major concerns.

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

Totally agree with you on this. Gaining legal advice is her first priorituy otherwise she could end up with loads more stress and distress.

Rosemary

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

there is no way I can go before september, as I have no holiday left, I`m hoping my ex husband will be ale to help, as he goes there quite a lot. as she isn`t allowed out of the house on her own, she has no way of seeking legal help. she doesn`t have any friends either. she wants to be able to get an emergency pasasport and travel, all on the same day, as she said once she leaves the house, there is no way she could go back. I think she is very afraid of her partner.

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

What area does your daughter live in as there are a number of shelters for abused women. With legal advice etc. I found this with a quick search "an emergency freephone number for the whole of the Alicante Province – 900 580 888 This is based in Alicante with a lawyer, social worker and psychologist on call at all times." I presume your daughter speaks fluent Spanish. Or in Marbella area www.helpfordomesticviolence.org/

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

There is also a 24h phone number for these situations. It's the number that's always mentioned on the news: 016. It claims to have attention in different languages as well. Having a passport and a ticket ready in one day sounds difficult, first thing she should do is call, no need to wait any longer.

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

I think I already told you what you should do in my opinion on another forum as this wont wait until September if it is as bad as you described

Call the UK Embassy in Spain and explain the situation fully to them. They may well be able to advise if she can take the children away from Spain without the fathers approval. In any case, its positive action

Heres the link again: http://ukinspain.fco.gov.uk/en/

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

Agree with this. Family emergencies such as a mercy dash to help your daughter should never be ruled out due to holiday entitlement. If she cannot make the arrangements herself it is down to you to get advice and help for her.

Rosemary

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

As with most forums people are left to fill in the gaps in stories which can lead to assumptions on the real circumstances.
It seems that you are saying that this is a very bad situation so....
If this was my daughter and grandchildren, I or my ex would be on a plane the next day, get them out of the house,(with the help of the police if neccesary) and be in safe accomodation .
I think you have been given excellent advice and contact numbers, however I am fully aware that what you are writing here is not all the facts of what is a complicated human condition.

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

If she is a british national she can get back in without a passport the UK cannot refuse her.

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

the only problem might be persuading the airline to let her get on the plane:(

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

I was thinking this is quite a common situation isnt it, but realised id read it elswhere.

I agree 100% with the above, speak to the consulate asap. Good luck.

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

Within Europe some airlines will accept photo ID but usually have to check if the receiving country will accept them when they arrive otherwise the airline bares the cost of the return flight.
It seems given the situation that the woman will not have a valid tarjeta de extranjeros or driving license.

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

my daughter is leaving in the morning, she is going to the consulate in malaga, and hopefully her father will fly over tomorrow, to help sort things out. I am so worried about her, she `s not taking any of the children with her. I will keep you all up to date with what happens, thanks so much for all the replies.

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

Must be a great relief to you all to see some light in your dark times.
All the very best and don't let no or can't get in the way of what needs to be done, lifes to short and to precious.:fingerscrossed:

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

So glad that things are going to be sorted out for your daughter and hope that getting her passport and travelling to UK will not be too traumatic for her.

Rosemary

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

:( but what about the children??

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

Yes the full facts were described to me on another forum

I'm glad to hear that ..... however, as just said ... what about the children. Once she has left of her own accord, then it's going to be difficult for her to get them back I would imagine if the Spanish Legal system lives up to its reputation

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

Drive into Gibraltar , its a bout 1000 to 1 odd`s you will get stopped going in :thumbsup: You are then subject to UK / Gib law :thumbsup:Then go and talk to social services .

Anyway you must have a NIE cards for the kids? If so they are valid for eu travel :thumbsup:

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

Her libro de familia might come in useful as well (for leaving the country, the embassy, or social services), especially if the children don't all have DNIs.

I know that Ryanair don't take them, but other airlines do and at the land border crossing into France, Portugal or Gibraltar she probably won't even be stopped.

Edit: And even if she doesn't bring the children with her, it could still be useful for her to have it later on.

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

I think it is impossible and wrong to speculate on the circumstances on the reasons a mother would make this choice.

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

lets all just wish her the best of Luck! she is going to need it.!
been through a very similar situation myself.!
With regard to the children, and leaving them behind in Spain.
When the time comes to claim custody, The Spanish courts would look
favorably towards the Farther and In-laws,
citing abandonment of the children and the Mother having fled to the UK.!
without making any provisions for the children.
sorry to say, but this is a start of a very long road.!!
All the best.

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

Thats exactly the point I tried to make above, yes

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

Hence doing a runner to Gib or the likes seems like a very good idea , once the children are in the UK then it will be upto the father to fund a very very expensive legal battle ,unless he`s wealthy I doubt he`d bother , better to get some agreement drawn up and legalised in both countries , after all the childrens wishes should take priority.

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

she went to the consul very early this morning, without the children, they phoned me, and they issued her with an emergency passport which I had to pay for, and I had to book a flight for her, which is 10.55 tonight, my ex husband, her dad is taking me to the airport to meet her. hopefully she`s on the plane, as she thought she was catching an earlier one, and left the consul before I could confirm the flight. so I have been phoning easyjet at malaga airport, to get a message to her. and as they cant tell me if shes on the flight, I just have to hope for the best. She has no phone, as her partner took it away from her this morning, before he left for work, so I have no way of contacting her

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

Good luck to her, hope everything goes smoothly on her journey.

Rosemary

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

thank you, I`ve been so worried all day, and couldn`t stop shaking earlier. I dont know what I`ll do if she isn`t on the plane

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

I hope she succeeds in getting her children with her. That may prove a difficult task. fwiw my partner took that EZY route earlier today, all on time!

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

What a difference a day makes but 24 long hours.

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

Well what happened is she back?????????????The suspense is killing me:ohmy:

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

I suspect that there will not be an up-date for a little while because they will have an awful lot of appointments to keep and loads of issues to deal with.

Rosemary

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

Whilst on the one hand I'm glad for her to be out of the situation, I can't imagine her feelings when (let's hope it's not, but....) she finds getting the children out 'retrospectively' proves a follow-up nightmare.

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

(quote)With regard to the children, and leaving them behind in Spain.
When the time comes to claim custody, The Spanish courts would look
favorably towards the Farther and In-laws,
citing abandonment of the children and the Mother having fled to the UK.!
without making any provisions for the children.
sorry to say, but this is a start of a very long road.!! )

All the best.

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

As she has been with her partner for 20 years the children may not be little tots, they could all be teenagers.

Rosemary

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

Good point. They will be almost totally spanish too. TBH I am a bit bemused by the whole story:unsure:

Re: help need please, dont know what to do !
 

the eldest two are 16 and 14 ,