How often it all comes down to money.

My divorce was amicable, we split what little cash we had. My ex kept the house - it had been his before we married. I did all the paperwork and no lawyers were involved until the last minute when we paid one to rubber stamp it all. We then went our separate ways as there were no kids.

When my mother left my dad she tried to dump him in a home at the state's expense and run off with all the savings and the proceeds from the sale of the house. It was only the involvement of myself and my sister and a very expensive lawyer that got him a settlement which paid for the specialist care he needed and deserved and some quality of life in his final years.

One of the finest funerals that I have ever been to was organised by the ladies current husband, her ex-husband and her two grown-up children from the first marriage. Each had their own say about their memories of her and they all commended her for the way in which she was the person who made sure that everything ran smoothly and that everyone spent quality time together. Theirs was a excellent example of how reconstituted families can live in harmony.

Rosemary