Good man, Mitzyboy!

I totally understand where you are coming from with this Matt but I do not think that it would have helped Jonsol. When people are in the frame of mind that makes them take their own lives few people would be in a position to recognise that fact. I know of people who have seen their doctor, therapist or mental health worker only hours before commiting suicide and the professionals were shocked because the person had not presented as likely to do this. Usually their nearest and dearest are totally oblivious to the real state of the persons mind and are also shocked when it occurs.

However saying that I agree with you that when someone really needs to talk it would be helpful if there was somewhere that they could do this without fear of being ridiculed etc.

We tend to be a caring lot on here and banter with each other in a friendly rather than obnoxious way but even that bantering is not always appropriate. You will remember that when Mitzy was locked out of his house he came on here and asked for sympathy, I thought and my OH thought that he was asking to be cheered up with a load of nonsense but that is not what he really needed and we boobed by taking the mick. It is just so easy to get it wrong.

So if we have something on here that effectively means people must be respectful, polite and helpful to the poster this needs to be highlighted in some way so that there is no bantering or sillyness. I do not know how practical this would be or how it could be moderated as I have only been on this forum since March. I have looked at other forums and found them too intimidating because I am not a confrontational sort of person.

People generally get their help from family and professionals face to face but some find it easier to write down their thoughts, feelings and fears in a more anonymous manner so maybe there is a place for it in the forum. It is ensuring that it is properly respected that could be the difficulty.

Rosemary

I feel I want to say something. I kind of like the idea of a sensitive area. I have posted info on this site that to me makes me feel vulnerable, but I have had nothing but support back, I have also had private conversations with people I have met on this site. I have had one bad experience but thats human nature, not the nature of the site.
Over 14 months of being a member I have build some great friendships, and it might help others to get to know each other better and understand our backgrounds and thoughts and reasons for our opinions if there was somewhere we could be a little more open without fear of attack.

I do think this forum is exceptional in its behavior and the respect other members show each other.

love

mary x

Your phrase 'sensitive area' says it all as far as I am concerned. A place where others know not to be insensitive would be a good thing I think but again it is open to abuse so people would be taking a bit of a risk.

I agree with you about this forum being exveptional and respectful for the most part and the exceptions are sorted effectively.

Rosemary

I think on the whole most people are a good bunch on BE.

Saying that, when you are feeling desperate sometimes you can post personal stuff on here that perhaps in hindsight, was not a good idea.

I have had unmeasurable support from this site when my Mum died and it meant so much to me.

However, I can think of 3 posters (whom I shall not name) that did something so cruel to me at a time when they KNEW what was going on, and for that I will never forgive them and I am astounded at how superficially nice these people are for when it suits them and their ulterior motives behind it.

I have read posts on this site and some of them sound so very sad and desperate, I have pm'd the people in question to offer support and have built up friendships.

Not friendships that are obvious to the forum by public posts, but by private messages.

Sometimes, I think we all need to be considerate in our replies to people. In a thread about depression, someone wrote 'Just snap out of it'. Helpful I don't think.

People may just write a few lines that if you really look, may be so significant that even a friendly 'hello, you are not alone' or 'welcome to the forum' would be better than a smart, somewhat cutting reply.

I am not saying we should be self appointed counsellors but if someone feels an urge to be sarcastic to a poster who is obviously in need of help, then keep it to yourself.

Because behind every poster is a real person, with real problems and some of us deal with these problems better than others.

And yes I have had a few scraps on here in my time, written a few things that I am not proud of, but it has taken something personal to me to make me realise that online friendships are in fact very real.

Consideration - that is all it takes.

Sorry I disagree .. If your sensitive about something why on earth would you tell a bunch of people who have there own lives and don't give a toss about you .. and don't give me all the we do care crap ..Iv'e have been around long enough to see lip service given a thousand time ..

Sensitive area ..a lot of bleedin nonsense ....

How very pleasant you are. Perhaps we could start a special area too for people that may hold the same beliefs you do, and then the rest of us can ignore the lot of you!

come on, we could make you the Mod for it Ray

I expect you know more about people than I do...
stay up there in the clouds..

One thing you get from me ..is straight talking with
no bullshit ..as you well know ..
I think Rushman has the best phrase .."you think it ...I say it .

Ray, Im sorry but you dont know me enough to say I am giving 'lip service'.

Sorry mate, but with me it is not true - I agree that it may well be the case with others, but with me what you see is what you get (filth included)

And if my memory serves me, some people were genuinely upset when you were not on the forum for a bit.

Not all of us are the same and shouldnt be generalised as so.

And yet another thread going nasty!!!!!!!!:curse:

Same with me ..

95% lip service when I died ..and I have no problem with that ..

Of course not ..I'm talking majority by far though ...

If some poor scmuck in albania dies and I have talked to him on here ..
I really don't care ...In fact I have said many times on here
I dont really care about anybody on here.. unless I actually meet them
and the pixels become reality ..

Why .. Is it not allowed to disgree with the majority ...
I have been doing it for 4 year on here