Given the nature of what has happened I wonder if it would be a good idea to have somewhere on BE that people can open up a little more without others jumping on them.

Most of BE SHOULD be like that but unfortunately isn't!

I know, I recently read a few threads of an ex poster who obviously has some real issues and he was just attacked from all sides!!



Hey you, how are you?

Lovely pics by the way.

Nice thought and it would be great if it was that easy...but people can be cruel without knowing it..when someone is in a desperate state of mind even an off the cuff joke or remark, even if not meant maliciously can cut deep..you yourself have seen evidence on BE of this and probably suffered some yourself, you hopefully have been strong enough mentally to cope with this, when you are in the depths of despair, life feels very fragile....probably best left to the experts...in my opinion....

I never said that it would replace professional advice and help, I was just suggesting that there could be a place or some way for someone to talk without danger of attack. Thats all I said.


Is it too much for people to listen?

And I never presumed you did, and yes it would be great if there was a SAFE place to do so, but as I said in my previous post people can be cruel without realising it, how far do you take it ?, we have seen the results of in depth confessions with Kerry and onlineamiga and people think they should not have opened up so much.
I for one would love to think you all were my buddies on here and I could confide in you and trust you with all my hopes and fears...and mostly you are a good bunch of guys, but.............

Listen yes..constructive advice yes..sympathy, empathy yes..

Trouble is if you open up on here its most likely that everyone will give differing advice dependent on their circumstances & experiences and leave you more confused than you were before.

Jonsol proved that we can't tell. Someone told me today that Jonsols last post was the day before he killed himself, and no problem was apparant.

Exactly...

oh dear god!!!!

Obviously, I think we're all agreed that this is a terrible thing to happen to anybody. Mike, I was like you, I hadn't realised he'd stopped but then when you think about it....
I can't add anything more to what has already been said just that I send condolences to his family and friends like all of us have done. Even though most of may us have never met him personally, it might be of some small comfort to the family if they knew that his cyber-buddies were thinking of him and of course them at this time. RIP

I think that is a very good idea however it would need some heavy moderating. But sure a good thing completely.

Don't wholeheartedly agree with you on this and this is not the right thread to go into it too much, maybe we could talk outside of the thread, but I'll say this. There are kind of rules/customs on discussion forums such as this in that things are said glibly...banter if you will.... and as we are supposedly anonymous things should never hurt.If you can't take that sort of thing then online forums are probably not for you. On other forums I go on to there's none of the type of very sensitive posters like I see on here - it's bar room banter, someone has a go, you come in with a retort, when you're done you have a beer (or in this case a cyber beer!) and it's forgotten. Words on a screen from someone you've never met should never hurt anybody - how can it? You know your own self, you know your own worth - anyone having a personal go at you without knowing you is not worth worrying about. I've got paint drying on the walls I need to attend to!

I would say that is right on the money and that is the catch 22. I think it might help if in our profile we were able to say how many years we've been here, in what field, based where etc... this will give some idea to the person seeking advice how worthy the information is.

Don't wholeheartedly agree with you on this and this is not the right thread to go into it too much, maybe we could talk outside of the thread, but I'll say this. There are kind of rules/customs on discussion forums such as this in that things are said glibly...banter if you will.... and as we are supposedly anonymous things should never hurt.If you can't take that sort of thing then online forums are probably not for you. On other forums I go on to there's none of the type of very sensitive posters like I see on here - it's bar room banter, someone has a go, you come in with a retort, when you're done you have a beer (or in this case a cyber beer!) and it's forgotten. Words on a screen from someone you've never met should never hurt anybody - how can it? You know your own self, you know your own worth - anyone having a personal go at you without knowing you is not worth worrying about. I've got paint drying on the walls I need to attend to!

Maybe this forum is different then...maybe the exception. There are many kind and caring souls on here that actually turn cyber words into physical deeds.
Words wether on a screen or in a book all mean something..otherwise there would be no forums..just look at all the wise words and advice passed over on here...the pen is mighter than the sword. simplistic probably but maybe as I am a sensitive soul forums are not for me.

My greatest respect to Jonsol and his family.

Lets not hijack this thread.I'll start another one and give you my reply.

well done

Not sure about the title but it will do.

This is a follow on from something that was brought up in the regrettable Jonsol-RIP thread and rather than take attention away from that upsetting news, this thread has been opened up instead.

A quick summary.....


It was suggested a kind of "shrinks sofa" scetion could be opened up on BE so that people could "let it all out" without being attacked. A good idea methinks.

It was then suggested that this was what the forum should be anyway where nobody attacks anybody and we should all agree (sorry Buddha, poetic license )

I replied that forums in general are harmless if you know how to use them - ie don't get offended by anything as it's not worth it, things said anonymously to another who is also anonymous should not upset anybody because what's the point???


Buddha replied:

Maybe this forum is different then...maybe the exception. There are many kind and caring souls on here that actually turn cyber words into physical deeds.
Words wether on a screen or in a book all mean something..otherwise there would be no forums..just look at all the wise words and advice passed over on here...the pen is mighter than the sword. simplistic probably but maybe as I am a sensitive soul forums are not for me.


And here's my reply:

Lovely selective highlighting of what I said, and was your last line really constructive???? But anyway....... my point is this. On other forums I go on to, there is a tease, there's banter, there's sometimes out and out insults. But it's all done in jest, and in the interests of creating a decent forum (OED says: a place or meeting for public discussion) disagreeing is encouraged as it allows a frank exchange of views. The jest and banter is put in there to take the edge off as we are after all anonymous. Imagine a conversation where we agreed on everything. Where's the debate?
I stick by my comment where I said sensitive souls who can't take debating with a wide world of people at once, with a wide range of views and personalities shouldn't really be on forums in the first place. Actually I didn't put it like that - I said that it probably wasn't for them.

BTW you chose the wrong weekend to make the crack about "caring souls who actually put cyber words into physical deeds".

Posts erroneously posted in Jonsol thread moved here