Just a matter of time, not very long, before they stop the use of cheques.
I opened a bank account in Sweden about twelve years ago and asked for a cheque book. They looked at me as though I had just stepped out of a cave.
They must have been long gone over there, way back then, but I must say I still find them handy myself on occasions.
It is just about the opposite extreme of Spain over there with every tiny transaction carefully recorded and the Swedes generally obsessed with doing everything by and thru the book, though I did upset the natives on one occasion by getting dental treatment for less than half price,cash deal,no receipts etc as I said I was only a temporary visitor.

Okay guys - let's stop talking about banks and politics as they are all liars anyway, and let's get right back to the original post .....


Have you ever lied to your kids?
At what level of a lie?
Was it to your or their advantage?
Did it work?
Did it come back to haunt your conscience?

Doesn't everyone lie to their kids about Santa ?
Maybe not such a good idea as it gives the little rascals a good excuse for telling porkies themselves once they cotton on.

thats not the original post ..........

I'd say - of course we do. Santa, the Tooth Fairy, Fairies in general and goblins and angels and all sorts ........... and then they start school and learn about Jesus and God and other figures, all whom have to be contemeplated on at home and given more or less significance.

Didn't we all grow up with Santa and the Tooth Fairy? We all, at some stage discovered it was not true but did it harm us so much that we're not telling our kids the same old, same old stories - and will it harm them?

It's as near as dammit, you pedant. The OP was about telling kids lies and having a conscience. I just took the liberty of putting a few real questions in there.

so does honesty pay?

damned if you do
damned if you don't

depends on if you get caught out.

and Lorna, please do not have a go at me when you were quite happy to take the conversation off thread yourself

gn

Is the right answer.

For those smart enough to abide by the eleventh commandment it certainly doesn't pay.

Excuse me, but when did I take the thread off course? In reply to your post about politicians perhaps?

But that's not here nor there.

If the thread is indeed about kids and lieing - then, yes. I do it everyday.

Every day I tell one of my kids that they have drawn mummy a fantastic picture, built a great Lego tower, made a fabulous play dough flower, done a great thing, helped Mummy, well done etc.

Of course I do. It's not always about a fab picture, but their self esteem and confidence.

I never started politicians, and the thread is ~Does Honesty Pay
it will be very busy night if someone goes around pulling all those threads back into line that have drifted a little (or a lot)

as I said, Damned if you do
Damned if you don't

if the kids pick up too early on that you are lying to them then where does that leave the relationship? they get younger by the decade, more aware, pick up on things quicker than we ever did at their age.

the mistrust in my daughters voice when after I had told her our cat had been put to sleep, she said that X (one of her school "friends") had told her I had the cat killed.
fine dividing line, but at that age a world of difference because I had tried to shield her from a truth and she had to get it from someone else.
I got caught out.

all kids need confidence bolstering, but that soon takes a battering when they go to school.
my daughter went to a primary\junior school that didnt have sports days "there will be winners and losers and it is unfair on the losers". This left a period of 10 years under that head teacher where competition was crushed. To her everyone one of the little darlings was a winner. Perhaps she was right, but it leaves them ill prepared for the hurly burly of life. The ones who were winners were those from large families where they had to fight to get anything.

gn

So it wasn't this post of yours that began politics on the thread?


we know about UK mp's. what about Spanish or Italian mp's or even Europa mp's ?
how much do they "fiddle" as a % of salary ?
or is there another comparison ?

and will the revenue accept that my "crime" is less than that of my mp and let me off ??
no didnt think so !

Anyway - I am not here to bicker, but wanted to prove my point. Because I'm childish like that.

Mmmmm...... Sprouts......

Wasn't the original question not about telling white lies to your children but telling them to lie to gain an advantage? That's a big difference and IMO wrong.

I believe honesty does pay. Long term. But then I've often been in trouble for telling the truth! My husband calls me "head of the department of too much information". An example would be when passing through immigration. I have to find a way of putting my business reason so it's honest but doesn't get me pulled out. That's so difficult. All the other people going to trade fairs I know...Just lie!

I won't say I've never told a lie. But I actually find it difficult. Generally I can spot liars so easily that I can catch them out. Funnily enough yesterday I caught someone on FB when complimented on their work saying they'd learned all their techniques by personal experimentation...when it was clear they'd learned from books. Why they thought the author wouldn't get to read it I don't know! Most liars/lies are just too stupid!

I don't lie. Not because I'm fundamentally a good person, But because I just know I'd get caught out!
My mum taught me "Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practise to deceive". A couple of times in my life people have said things about me which just weren't true. And, of course I was proved right because along the line I never told a lie. If you don't dig yourself into the mire...You don't have to dig yourself out.

We're wavering a bit, at least I am. I thought I did the right things with my kids, realising I couldn't closely protect them for the rest of their lives. Having started off in Hackney, I moved to Leyton, Elm Park, Hornchurch and finally Upminster to give them the best chance in life.

I took them to St John's Ambulance Brigade, Girl Guides, riding lessons and into Churches. I took my boys to Upton Park, with a lot of trepidation. My youngest boy started wearing a Liverpool scarf, so I took him to the Kop with even more trepidation. (He lives in Sidney now, still with his red scarf).

Of course there were a few hiccups along the way, times of terror for the parents. I remember my oldest boy coming home with his car windows smashed. I advised him not to inform the police because it had been his fault, sort of. I helped him fill out his insurance claim, another exercise in conscience.

I get phone calls and emails now which sometimes frighten the life out of me. And I still have to advise them to be careful with the truth because in my experience it can turn round and bite you.