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-   -   CSA Absent father (https://britishexpats.com/forum/spain-75/csa-absent-father-635622/)

Loving it so far Oct 13th 2009 8:27 pm

CSA Absent father
 
Hi All
I moved to the Costa Blanca in March this year with my partner. Life is good so far. On the day we arrived I recieved a call from the CSA in the UK saying my daughters natural father had been in touch. As we now live in spain he will not pay any maintenence for her. They closed the case. ( I expected this as he refused may times in the Uk and was violent to me) He caused misery for her through the summer, very long story.
I have heard that there is a system in Europe to collect maintence. Something to do with the "Hague convention" has anyone heard or done this? Apparently we would apply to the courts in spain for this?
I have looked searched past posts with no luck.

That you

SueG Oct 13th 2009 8:46 pm

Re: CSA Absent father
 
Suggest you visit an English speaking Solicitor who deals in English and Spanish law. Can recommend a couple if you live near the coast.

jdr Oct 14th 2009 12:02 am

Re: CSA Absent father
 
I know nothing about your case, and did he agree to you taking his child out of the country ?

What about your partner, won`t he contribute to his new family ?

I personally think in this type of case it is very unfair to expect the childs father to pay when it should be your new partner looking after you and your child.

lynnxa Oct 14th 2009 12:09 am

Re: CSA Absent father
 

Originally Posted by jdr (Post 8015544)
I know nothing about your case, and did he agree to you taking his child out of the country ?

What about your partner, won`t he contribute to his new family ?

I personally think in this type of case it is very unfair to expect the childs father to pay when it should be your new partner looking after you and your child.

surely the natural father should contribute to the upkeep of the child?


good point about the father agreeing to take the child out the country though

Loving it so far Oct 14th 2009 12:15 am

Re: CSA Absent father
 

Originally Posted by jdr (Post 8015544)
I know nothing about your case, and did he agree to you taking his child out of the country ?

What about your partner, won`t he contribute to his new family ?

I personally think in this type of case it is very unfair to expect the childs father to pay when it should be your new partner looking after you and your child.

I apologise for any misunderstanding - I wasn't asking for your "personal" opinion on my circumstances and confused as to why you think a father paying maintenance for his child is "very unfair"!! But as you decided to give it I will reply. Yes , we had full permission to come here and he never contributed in the UK,either. My current partner does support me and my daughter. He also supports his children from his first marriage as he is a decent upstanding person who does not shy away from his responsibilities. However, your opinion of a father walking away and taking no responsibility for his offspring is very old fashioned, outdated and inappropriate. It smacks of a teenage boys view of "I'll have all of the fun, but walk away from responsibility." Certainly not a trait that I would be proud to engender. Also, for your information, I work and am capable of supporting myself and my children but that is not the issue here! I was under the impression that this forum to was to offer advice and information, not offer insults on a situation you know nothing about.

bealerDSB Oct 14th 2009 12:17 am

Re: CSA Absent father
 

Originally Posted by jdr (Post 8015544)
I know nothing about your case, and did he agree to you taking his child out of the country ?

What about your partner, won`t he contribute to his new family ?

I personally think in this type of case it is very unfair to expect the childs father to pay when it should be your new partner looking after you and your child.

I agree and disagree with you on that JDR.
It is LAW that the natural Father, or Mother, should contribute to the general maintenance costs of their Child/ren - towards whom ever is the primary parent.

I agree with what you mean about 'double dipping' on the incomes though :thumbdown:

DSB.

jules63 Oct 14th 2009 12:22 am

Re: CSA Absent father
 

Originally Posted by Loving it so far (Post 8015030)
Hi All
I moved to the Costa Blanca in March this year with my partner. Life is good so far. On the day we arrived I recieved a call from the CSA in the UK saying my daughters natural father had been in touch. As we now live in spain he will not pay any maintenence for her. They closed the case. ( I expected this as he refused may times in the Uk and was violent to me) He caused misery for her through the summer, very long story.
I have heard that there is a system in Europe to collect maintence. Something to do with the "Hague convention" has anyone heard or done this? Apparently we would apply to the courts in spain for this?
I have looked searched past posts with no luck.

That you


Look at this website under the section for reciprocal enforcement of maintanance orders - the office are very helpful.
http://www.officialsolicitor.gov.uk/os/offsol.htm

jdr Oct 14th 2009 12:43 am

Re: CSA Absent father
 

Originally Posted by Loving it so far (Post 8015601)
I apologise for any misunderstanding - I wasn't asking for your "personal" opinion on my circumstances and confused as to why you think a father paying maintenance for his child is "very unfair"!! But as you decided to give it I will reply. Yes , we had full permission to come here and he never contributed in the UK,either. My current partner does support me and my daughter. He also supports his children from his first marriage as he is a decent upstanding person who does not shy away from his responsibilities. However, your opinion of a father walking away and taking no responsibility for his offspring is very old fashioned, outdated and inappropriate. It smacks of a teenage boys view of "I'll have all of the fun, but walk away from responsibility." Certainly not a trait that I would be proud to engender. Also, for your information, I work and am capable of supporting myself and my children but that is not the issue here! I was under the impression that this forum to was to offer advice and information, not offer insults on a situation you know nothing about.

If you post on a forum then also expect opinions that you may not like to hear.
I know a man in the same position having lost his girlfriend and child and having someone hound him for money that the new family do not even need is the last thing he needs.
Are you sure it´s not you and her walking away from him ?
The only unfair thing I see is you having children and then splitting up, moving in with someone else and expecting the natural father to contribute to the running of the family.
You have cut him off from his child and expect him to pay money that maybe he cannot afford to the new guy to look after her.
As you say you can afford to look after her yourself, so why not just do that.

agoreira Oct 14th 2009 12:59 am

Re: CSA Absent father
 

Originally Posted by jdr (Post 8015694)
.
You have cut him off from his child and expect him to pay money that maybe he cannot afford to the new guy to look after her.

Rather an old fashioned approach, but one I share. I fail to see why a father should pay for a child that has been taken to a different country, and that has two "parents" capable of supporting it.

Lime Pickle Oct 14th 2009 1:03 am

Re: CSA Absent father
 
If you can afford to take care of yourself and your kids. Have some pride and do just that. If he is as awful as you suggest you're all well rid of him

jojojojojojojojojojojojo Oct 14th 2009 1:58 am

Re: CSA Absent father
 

Originally Posted by Loving it so far (Post 8015601)
I apologise for any misunderstanding - I wasn't asking for your "personal" opinion on my circumstances and confused as to why you think a father paying maintenance for his child is "very unfair"!! But as you decided to give it I will reply.

I was under the impression that this forum to was to offer advice and information, not offer insults on a situation you know nothing about.

If you want official information you should go to an abogado. Forums from what I've seen are for informal advise, personal opinions and chit chat and thats what you got.

As for maintenance, my eldest is now 26 and I'm still waiting for maintenance and he left me when she was 4yo, we went to courts, CSA, I tried bribery, corruption....... It seems if a man really doesnt want to pay it, then he wont, it doesnt matter who chases him for it! But its worth a try

Jo xxx

jojojojojojojojojojojojo Oct 14th 2009 2:02 am

Re: CSA Absent father
 
........... one thing that crosses my mind,(knowing what ex husbands can be like) is that if you push too hard, is he likely to insist your daughter is back in the UK, so that he can have visitation rights??????? "If I've gotta pay then I wanna see her" attitude?????? just a thought :unsure:


Jo xxx

whitelinen Oct 14th 2009 4:00 am

Re: CSA Absent father
 

Originally Posted by jojojojojojojojojojojojo (Post 8015905)
........... one thing that crosses my mind,(knowing what ex husbands can be like) is that if you push too hard, is he likely to insist your daughter is back in the UK, so that he can have visitation rights??????? "If I've gotta pay then I wanna see her" attitude?????? just a thought :unsure:Jo xxx


I was wondering why the OP thinks that she is likely to succeed in getting money from the childs father when moving to Spain because it is Europe when their home country (UK) has closed the case. Is the UK not in Europe then?

Also agree with jojo and some of the other posters here. The OP has the child and sufficient means to raise it thus the post attracted comments because it looks like someone wanting some kind of revenge and/or are just money grabbing.

Loving it so far Oct 14th 2009 4:02 am

Re: CSA Absent father
 

Originally Posted by jdr (Post 8015694)
If you post on a forum then also expect opinions that you may not like to hear.
I know a man in the same position having lost his girlfriend and child and having someone hound him for money that the new family do not even need is the last thing he needs.
Are you sure it´s not you and her walking away from him ?
The only unfair thing I see is you having children and then splitting up, moving in with someone else and expecting the natural father to contribute to the running of the family.
You have cut him off from his child and expect him to pay money that maybe he cannot afford to the new guy to look after her.
As you say you can afford to look after her yourself, so why not just do that.

As you rightly mention, I do look after my daughter myself and have done for many years. That doesn't necessarily mean that it is easy. Just for your information, my ex-husband left me for a newer model and can easily afford payments, but chooses not too. Also, I have paid the costs for my daughter to see her natural father three times this year,and all he does is takes her to pubs and clubs, which are completely inappropriate for her. I feel for your friend, but all cases are different and the absent fathers are not always the good guys.

whitelinen Oct 14th 2009 4:14 am

Re: CSA Absent father
 

Originally Posted by Loving it so far (Post 8016142)

I have paid the costs for my daughter to see her natural father three times this year,and all he does is takes her to pubs and clubs, which are completely inappropriate for her.

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:


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