can i ask your opinion.....
 

do you think its rude for the bride and groom to ask for money as their wedding gift?

i was invited to a wedding and they asked for money, which i thought was absolutely fine. The way i see it is, if thats what they want, and need, why give them something else?

Anyway, i did a search online looking for an indication on how much is appropiate, and i came across this forum, money saving expert (soo the worng place i guess :rofl:) and they were all going NUTS saying how rude it is etc etc, so i got involved saying there is nothing wrong with that, and thats what we put on our own wedding list, and i got my head bitten off SO much it was actually rather amusing.

The thing is it was sooo funny, they were all giving each other advise on how to get around the bride and groom asking for cash, some of the advice as follows:

-give them euros or dollars so it looks like you gave them more :ohmy:
-if they are asking for ££ for a loft conversion pay the builder directly so you know where the money is going :confused:
-get them vouchers for b&q, same reason as above.

the way i see it is, if i give someone moeny is cause i want to, and cause i want them to enjoy it, and i really dont care what they do with it as long as its enjoyed.

Anyway i was just wondering what people think.... as i am finding it rather shocking!!!

night to all! xx

Re: can i ask your opinion.....
 

I think it's ok for the Bride and Groom to ask for what ever it is that they want, money, tokens or to give out a wedding present list. I would much rather give money that they can spend on what they actually need rather than buy something that sits in the back of a dusty cupboard until it eventually gets thrown away years later having never been used. Plus these days a lot of people live together before getting married so they already have most household objects. Lets face it how many toasters does a person need:lol:

Re: can i ask your opinion.....
 

I would rather a couple asked for money from people than have a wedding present list set up in an expensive shop that had things on it that I cannot afford. At least with money you can give what you want.

Rosemary

Re: can i ask your opinion.....
 

Giving them money seems eminently sensible. Plus, it's the custom in other countries too.

Featherbum, the comments you posted make those people seem really mean.

Re: can i ask your opinion.....
 

I am glad you brought this up.

I have friends who are getting married after several years together who have everything they need for the house they live in. BUT - they are a bit hard up owing to the present recession and him being a self employed tradesman. I want to give them money as it makes so much more sense, but felt unsure about it and whether it would be acceptable.

Thanks to this thread, I shall definitely give them cash.

Re: can i ask your opinion.....
 

Is there a recognised amount?

Re: can i ask your opinion.....
 

i dont think there is a particular amount as such, i always struggle to decide how much!:blink:

In Spain (where, at least where i come from) people tend to give you however much you spent on them, say the restaurant is charging you 100 euros per head, for arguments sake, then each guest will give you that amount as their present.

I am shocked how viciously attacked i got in the other forum :rofl: so i am glad to see we are not weirdos- nor most of our friends who have all asked for money so far!!
They even accused me of inviting people i dont even know to my wedding just to get some extra cash!!:rofl:

am i allowed to put the link in here, so you can all have an amusing time reading it? :thumbsup: (must warn you i got quite feisty with them :p)

Re: can i ask your opinion.....
 

You can put a link, but everybody please read and respect rule 8 of this site, thanks.

Re: can i ask your opinion.....
 

hi ya

my son was recently married and he ask for money as a gift from everyone ,because they had been living together for a few years had a house and a little boy ,no probs so everone did that so they felt that the money would be better spent on other things hope this eases your conscience :

Re: can i ask your opinion.....
 

When I got married (for the 2nd time!), in lieu of gifts we asked for money or something for the wedding itself so, one guy provided the wedding car, others their bands etc. Nobody had a problem with it (or if they did, they didn't say!). One friend framed a 50 pound note with a label saying "Break glass in case of emergency"! After we divorced...I did!

Re: can i ask your opinion.....
 

Hi featherbum
We asked for money for our wedding as we had been living together for about 4 years so more or less had everything we needed - we were extending the house so we asked for either money or bags of sand or cement lol - not very traditional eh lol
Love Sam xxxx

Re: can i ask your opinion.....
 

You would have got sand and cement off me then cos theres no way I can give money instead of a gift! :rofl:

Re: can i ask your opinion.....
 

i think thats really nice too, for example a friend rang and offered me a room at a lovely hotel on the seafront for our wedding night as a present and i thought that was a lovely thought!:wub:

Re: can i ask your opinion.....
 

My stepdaughter and her husband did the same they just told everyone that they had been living toether for a long time and didnt need the normal stuff and if pp didnt mind they would like funds towards there garden project
Send me a link I would love to add my three pennys worth on your side of course LOL
Sharon

Re: can i ask your opinion.....
 

good idea we could start a 'BE featherbum wedding fund', if you all give me a euro each i will prob end up with a nice amount :p:p (oh i am joking by the way, in case someone took me seriously and tries to go nuts at me like the maniacs on the other forum lol)

i am getting eating alive on the other forum, i wanna unsuscribe and i cant, arrggh!:blink: i must admit, i did wind them up as much as i could :sneaky: -