[Don't let them know we talked on the phone again today Sam! They'll start gossiping.]

Don't you worry Pete; our little secret is safe between the two of us.
No-one reads my posts anyway!!

That sounded like a terrifying ordeal with the porker!!
Didn't it realise that you were trying to help it!? I thought pigs were supposed to be intelligent?
Did your wife play rugby at all? I hear they practise their scrums with pigs, down Swansea way!!

Karma for the "saving your bacon" joke!

Not really Sam.....but I do try to give her the odd "up and under" when possible!

PMSL Would they appreciate me

Ooh I say, you naughty Welshman you!!

cheeky!!!!

Well, I know the family that own the bar would

I can picture the scene now:
Some slime ball who thinks it's his right to benefit from the fruits of someone else's labours, caught firmly between the "Crispy mountain" - with his little legs scrabbling about in space, while he struggles to get his breath!!

It could be the new Guardia Civil catchphrase...................."you have been Crispied!"

Can you imagine the three of us, a frightening wall of breastiness, impervious to to naughty burglar type men. Smothered, never to commit their dastardly crimes again!!!!

This reminds me so much of a skittle final I went to in Devon, I promise this is a true story. My BIL played skittles for Uffcum and as they usually did they were through to the finals and as a family we always went to watch the game and as usual they won.

During the merriment that followed a chap who was about 4ft 11in kept asking me to dance and every time I took the floor with him the music would change tempo to a slow waltz and this bloke just threw himself at me and nuzzled his head between my ampleness. My SIL actually has photo's of this chap with the biggest smile of contentment on his face. Some men they are so easily pleased

I think we would be a pretty busy trio, I think it is every red blooded male's dream of going out in a blaze of flesh