mikelincs

A friend, who we only met when we moved out here had what was diagnosed as Pneumonia in July, he continued to be unwell and was admitted to hospital at the beginning of August, within a few days he had been found to have lung cancer, and has now been given about 1 month to live the cancer is so aggressive. He is being flown back to the UK by Air Ambulance at the end of this week so that his wife will have the support of their family when he does die. He is philosophical about it, after all, he says, he cheated death 15 years ago when he had a very severe heart atttack, and he looks on the last 15 years as a bonus. We saw him yesterday, but, what do you say to someone in that position, he at least was joking about it, but it was so difficult, knowing that it was probably the very last time we will see him. He has a grandaughter he hasn't seen yet, one of his sons' was getting married next year. The son is, hopefully bringing his wedding forward to within the next three weeks, the granddaughter is being brought over from Ireland to see him when he gets back to the UK. One of his sons' (father of the new granddaughter) is in a submarine somewhere under the ocean, radio silence till they are relived, so they are just hoping he lives long enough to see him again. When this son went out on patrol his father was totally well and now....

I cant think of any better reason for enjoying life to the full while you can, who knows what may happen to you tomorow.

andyrich666

Yes and after hearing the news of Antonio Puerta today a terrible tragedy. It really makes you think, there is a 22 yr old who is as fit as a fiddle and this happens, then there is me (and probably a few others on here), unfit and spend most of our time behind a computer screen. Makes you really appreciate what you have in life and puts everything into perspective.

RIP Antonio

Lionda

I hope your friend is able to see his grandaughter and the rest of his family and passes peacefully. What a terrible thing to happen

Sam Greenfield

Hi Mike
This is what happened to my father-in-law last year - he went into hospital with breathing problems and they diagnosed pneumonia - he died a couple of hours later which sent Blackpool Vic into panic stations as they wernt expecting it at all - had to do a post morton on him and it was reveled that he had colon and lung cancer - just a blessing he went when he did not knowing as he wouldnt have coped with knowing he had cancer - he had been ill for a few years with colitis so we put all the weight loss down to this - came as a big shock to us all. Big hugs too you all - like you say what do you say in a situation like this - but he seems to have the right attitude at the moment and like Lionda says hope he has a peaceful passing.

Cornish maid

Mike, what an awful thing to have happened to your friend. If ever anyone needed a reminder to do what you can do today, and not put it off until tomorrow, that was it.
My FIL died of cancer 13 years ago. I gave up work to help MIL nurse him until the end. It was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever done in my life. I hope and pray that your friend's passing is quick and painfree.

Rosemary

Sorry to hear such bad news of your friends illness, there is very little you can say to someone in this situation apart from to tell them how much you have valued the time that you have spent with them. Looking on the positive side regarding his untimely death is the fact that the diagnosis has given him the opportunity to see his granddaughter and talk to his family. He has the chance to ensure that they know how he feels about them and be able hear from them how they feel about him.

Many people do not get the chance to say their last goodbyes so this will be very important to all of them. It sounds as though he has a very philosophical attitude to life and death which will help him and the family to cope.

He will have the comfort of the family around him when the time comes and his wife will have the family to comfort her and help her to cope with his passing.

News such as this encourages others to live their lives to the full and perhaps to take more care of themselves.

Rosemary

mum of 5

Life really is too short I lost my dad 9 yrs ago aged 53 to cancer, by the time they found out he had it all over so there was nothing more that could be done, we were just lucky that we nursed him at home till he died, then uncle aged 45 (mums brother) died in the same yr of brain tumour and left 3 young kids also lost nan and grandad in the same yr.

When I knew that my dad didn't have much time left, I got a babysitter and drove round with a big speach all prepared about how much he meant to all of us, but when I got there and started to tell him, he just put his arms around me and said that we didn't need to say anything!!!.

I think that is why I had 5 kids it puts everything into perspective. I find it saddest that my dad never got to retire after working so hard!! paid all his taxes and didn't reap the benefit. We are off to Spain next week and I just hope that my dad would of been proud.

Wishing you all the best.

Miss Naughty

Hi

I am so sorry to hear about your friend .

It does make you realise how life is so precious and that the main thing is having family and love around you.


I have twice had lumps in my breast and had some worrying times i am so grateful i had my husband and children around me at a worrying time and it made me realise that life is not a rehearsal, this is our only time on this planet and we have to make the most of every single day.

I always tell my husband and children i love them so many times a day because you dont know when its over and i want to enjoy everyday like it could be the last xxxxx

brisca

Hi Mike,

I'm so sorry to hear the terribly sad news about your friend
It sounds like he's being incredibly strong for those around him, and that he has a very loving family to support him at this awful time.

It's so difficult to know what you can say to him, because it's hard enough thinking what to say to you at a time like this - but I think Rosemary's advice is very sound.

We have a friend (aged 40) who was diagnosed 3 months ago with a brain tumour.
Incredibly, he's now had surgery and is back at home - having made a seemingly full recovery (radiotherapy to follow)
Although his story is a happy one, I do understand some of the thoughts that you've described - especially the one about not knowing whether that will be the last time you see your friend.
I guess that all you can do is be there for your friend and his family; especially for his wife if she returns to Spain in the future.

Every day there are tragic stories of people's untimely passing; but it's not until you feel such a loss personally that you can really empathise.
Just reading how many people on here can identify with you and your friend, will hopefully give you a little comfort at this difficult time.

My thoughts are with you, your friend and his family.

Carol&John

Hi Mike,
I am saddened to read about your friend's illness, and, from personal loss, I can say that cancer truly stinks. There is nothing good about cancer. A person might say that having had cancer has made him/her a stronger person, but that strength was always there.
Your friend has shown courage in helping YOU to understand his predicament. It's a great shock to take in this news, understand it, perhaps accept it, and to get on with the very important part of living life day by day.
Your part in this journey is to listen, support, care, and not to forget what this experience has taught you. Your friend and his family will take great comfort in knowing that your thoughts are with them.
Much later I have come to understand that our loved ones live on in our own footsteps.
Carol

SHERGAR

Our thoughts are with you

Carol&John

I just wanted to post a comment on this sad event with respect to the OP's news: Antonio Puerta was buried today. Descanse en paz.
Mikelincs' thread title is "Make the most of your life", and I pray this young man's family gain some consolation in believing that he did.

Buenas noches,
Carol

silverchick

I've been trying think of something to say, but can't really put into words the admiration i feel over your friends attitude to his illness.
I too lost my greatest friend, my Aunt , to cancer, even though its 9 years ago, I still cannot think of her without getting upset, she truly was one in a million.
Unfortunately she was defeated by this hideous disease, she'd been given the 'all clear' only months before, and it came back with a vengeance.
The course of chemo they gave her was in fact what caused her premature death, it was too strong, and completely poisoned her system, they tried to reverse it but it was too late.
God bless to you, your friend and his family .

mikelincs

Have heard today that our friend died at lunch time, only 8 days after returning to the UK, he appaerntly was facing increasing difficulty breathing and asked that they do nothing more for him.

Sam Greenfield

Oh Mike - im so sorry to hear your news - its such a cruel disease - my thoughts are with you now - take care - loads of hugs.
Love Sam