You Know You are in the UAE When...
This place can really be rather surreal.
Mar 31st 2011 | 3:02 am
#17
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,279
From: Back in the sand
Re: You Know You are in the UAE When...
You pull up at a petrol pump in the Uk and wait for the man to come fill up the car....
Mar 31st 2011 | 3:02 am
#18
Bored liberal
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 13,713
From: Over there ----->
Re: You Know You are in the UAE When...
You get an email from a hotel offering you a standard room at only Dhs 2,290 a night
Mar 31st 2011 | 3:14 am
#21
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,899
From: Riyadh.
Re: You Know You are in the UAE When...
Extending it to being in KSA
- When filling up with petrol costs you the same as packet of fags in Blighty.
- Making dash to get the coffees in before everything shuts for prayer ( KSA specific? )
- When, being Asian, it's easier to talk in an Asian accent so I can get understood.
- When armed guards at the entrance to your compound is a common occurrence. Usually busy texting their mates whilst leaning on the machine guns wearing mirror aviator shades.
- When seeing men wearing dresses, holding hands and kissing is a day to day normality.
- When the weekend arrives,and all there is to do is to go out to a shopping mall.
- Coffee shops and fast food places have separate queues for men and women.
- And then women's queue is staffed by a man!
- All the womens lingerie and underwear shops have men working in them.
- When you walk into any perfume shop and two assistants immediately descend on you , walking by your side until you leave.
- When a shops shuts at 10pm, you think, oh why are they closing early?
- When filling up with petrol costs you the same as packet of fags in Blighty.
- Making dash to get the coffees in before everything shuts for prayer ( KSA specific? )
- When, being Asian, it's easier to talk in an Asian accent so I can get understood.
- When armed guards at the entrance to your compound is a common occurrence. Usually busy texting their mates whilst leaning on the machine guns wearing mirror aviator shades.
- When seeing men wearing dresses, holding hands and kissing is a day to day normality.
- When the weekend arrives,and all there is to do is to go out to a shopping mall.
- Coffee shops and fast food places have separate queues for men and women.
- And then women's queue is staffed by a man!
- All the womens lingerie and underwear shops have men working in them.
- When you walk into any perfume shop and two assistants immediately descend on you , walking by your side until you leave.
- When a shops shuts at 10pm, you think, oh why are they closing early?
Mar 31st 2011 | 3:59 am
#22
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,262
From: Redcliffe
Re: You Know You are in the UAE When...
Talking on the phone one day here in Dubai, I was trying to spell out my email address, which the person on the line just couldn't grasp. So I resorted to using the international phonetic code and started "Delta, Bravo, Hotel…" the caller interrupted me and asked me to spell out the name of the hotel. 
Mar 31st 2011 | 9:39 am
#23
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,162
From: Kuala Lumpur
Re: You Know You are in the UAE When...
... the world's Local Bank can't do anything to help you at Mirdif even though the Mall of the Emirates Branch provided you with the paperwork the previous day. Mirdif say that it simply isn't possible. You must complete the paperwork 'on line' and then print it off and present it to them to enable them to do the transaction. So you drive all the way back to MoE and hand over the paperwork and it's all done within about five minutes. WTF??!!
Mar 31st 2011 | 9:52 am
#24
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 5,463
From: Brisvegas
Re: You Know You are in the UAE When...
Been compiling my little list of these. Any Additions?
Here are mine...
The ring pull comes off your can of coke.
You spend as much time driving on the motorway looking backwards as you do looking forwards.
You aren’t surprised to be called ‘Mamsir’.
There are only two seasons. Summer and Hell.
You hardly ever walk anywhere.
Customer service is an oxymoron.
You get used to carrying ten times as much money in cash around with you than you would ever do back home.
When you try to sell something, you automatically double the price you want for it because everyone is going to expect a discount or offer you 50% and expect you to take it.
When booking a table for dinner, tee off time for a round of golf or anything similar you give your name as ‘Mr. (firstname)’. E.g. Mr. John, Mr. Rob.
When you do have to give your full name or company name to someone over the phone, you really, really wish it was short and easy to spell. “My name is Jonathan. That’s JONATHAN. J-O-N-A-T-H-A-N. No, let me say that again J-O-N-A-T-H-A-N . etc.’
The moment you need to get anything done like renewing your car registration, getting the dishwasher repaired or querying a phone bill your heart sinks, because you know that the experience is going to be worse than digging your own eyes out with a hot spoon.
If you’re with Du, it sucks but the thought of going to Etisalat isn’t much better. The opposite is true if you are with Etisalat.
There are two taps on your bath or sinks. Hot and lukewarm.
Here are mine...
The ring pull comes off your can of coke.
You spend as much time driving on the motorway looking backwards as you do looking forwards.
You aren’t surprised to be called ‘Mamsir’.
There are only two seasons. Summer and Hell.
You hardly ever walk anywhere.
Customer service is an oxymoron.
You get used to carrying ten times as much money in cash around with you than you would ever do back home.
When you try to sell something, you automatically double the price you want for it because everyone is going to expect a discount or offer you 50% and expect you to take it.
When booking a table for dinner, tee off time for a round of golf or anything similar you give your name as ‘Mr. (firstname)’. E.g. Mr. John, Mr. Rob.
When you do have to give your full name or company name to someone over the phone, you really, really wish it was short and easy to spell. “My name is Jonathan. That’s JONATHAN. J-O-N-A-T-H-A-N. No, let me say that again J-O-N-A-T-H-A-N . etc.’
The moment you need to get anything done like renewing your car registration, getting the dishwasher repaired or querying a phone bill your heart sinks, because you know that the experience is going to be worse than digging your own eyes out with a hot spoon.
If you’re with Du, it sucks but the thought of going to Etisalat isn’t much better. The opposite is true if you are with Etisalat.
There are two taps on your bath or sinks. Hot and lukewarm.
Mar 31st 2011 | 10:04 am
#25
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 4,643
Re: You Know You are in the UAE When...
Mar 31st 2011 | 6:36 pm
#26
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 13,553
Re: You Know You are in the UAE When...
........ when shop assistants grin inanely when giving you bad news ("sir, no sir, we don't sell that")...............
............ and when you don't go to a meeting - instead you "sit together"...........
............ and when you don't go to a meeting - instead you "sit together"...........
Mar 31st 2011 | 6:45 pm
#27
**** it we'll do it live
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,892
From: Dubai
Re: You Know You are in the UAE When...
when its the summer and you've had to park outside you have the joy of burning your arse whilst starting the car then the option of sitting there for a minute whilst the car cools down enough for you to actually hold the steering wheel or you stand outside in the 50 degree heat which is actually cooler....at this point you realise that anybody you know who doesnt live here will never understand summer
when youve been to a meeting or received someone in a meeting during summer who has just experienced the above and the first 10 minutes are written off as you or them are given cool water and told to chill out for a minute. this happens whilst you or they look like they have just been for a swim fully clothed and slapped around a bit.
you have had an argument with a taxi driver on the phone with him berating you for not being outside your villa as you try to explain he is in jumeirah while you are in mirdif.... this could also be a delivery driver
when youve ordered something online or someone in civilisation wants to send you something and you have had to explain that there really isnt a postal service or street addresses and that if they dont send it to a p.o. box you will never get it, you then go on to explain that even then you probably wont get it unless they use a courier. and yes that is the same dubai they have seen on tv....
when youve been to a meeting or received someone in a meeting during summer who has just experienced the above and the first 10 minutes are written off as you or them are given cool water and told to chill out for a minute. this happens whilst you or they look like they have just been for a swim fully clothed and slapped around a bit.
you have had an argument with a taxi driver on the phone with him berating you for not being outside your villa as you try to explain he is in jumeirah while you are in mirdif.... this could also be a delivery driver
when youve ordered something online or someone in civilisation wants to send you something and you have had to explain that there really isnt a postal service or street addresses and that if they dont send it to a p.o. box you will never get it, you then go on to explain that even then you probably wont get it unless they use a courier. and yes that is the same dubai they have seen on tv....
Mar 31st 2011 | 6:47 pm
#28
**** it we'll do it live
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,892
From: Dubai
Re: You Know You are in the UAE When...
when asking a shop assistant something in an electronics store you instantly regret it as they pick up the box and read it out to you whilst completely ignoring your question
Mar 31st 2011 | 8:17 pm
#29
You read these things?
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,261
Re: You Know You are in the UAE When...
- The cash machines only give no less than 100 Dirham notes.
- You tell the taxi driver somewhere near to where you want to go, then guide them in.
- The taxi driver goes apeshit when you take a 10 Dirham journey, then try to present him with that very same 100 dirham note.
- You go into a shop to break the 100 dirham note, only to be told they don't have any change, because the 10 people before you also had to buy a pack of chewing gum to break the note so they could pay the taxi driver.
Mar 31st 2011 | 8:25 pm
#30
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,403
From: Dubai
Re: You Know You are in the UAE When...
Also, holding my hands under the taps in the Ladies waiting for the water to start
