View Poll Results: Are you christened
Yes
28
87.50%
No
4
12.50%
Voters: 32. You may not vote on this poll
Are you christened?
Jul 16th 2013, 4:32 pm
#31
Bored liberal
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: Over there ----->
Posts: 13,713
Re: Are you christened?
I think that is very rude. Just because someone has no time for religion and prefer to make their own choices in life, that does not make them rootless or selfish. It's an appalling asssumption to make, as is throwing insults at a child because of their parents' choices.
Just because you seem to feel you have no option but to be utterly conventional, it is not right to make assumptions about people who choose to do things in a different way. I totally understand why people are jaded about religious conventions as we have covered numerous times on here.
You may feel that you have to prove your relationship is valid by some form of public declaration, but it may be that others are secure enough not to have to do that? It is a choice, not an obligation.
Just because you seem to feel you have no option but to be utterly conventional, it is not right to make assumptions about people who choose to do things in a different way. I totally understand why people are jaded about religious conventions as we have covered numerous times on here.
You may feel that you have to prove your relationship is valid by some form of public declaration, but it may be that others are secure enough not to have to do that? It is a choice, not an obligation.
Jul 16th 2013, 4:32 pm
#32
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Disneyland, Dubai
Posts: 15,887
Re: Are you christened?
You just proved my point. Jaded. Selfish. Rootless.
No concept of being part of an ancient cultural tradition going back eons in all cultures and civilisations worldwide. No concept of making a statement to the community and world that you're entering a formal union with a woman out of love and respect (well, hopefully).
I'm inclined to think that this whole not getting married because I don't believe in it is a symptom of the rotten core at the heart of the modern post-liberal west - that we've all become so selfish and individualistic that we're rejecting participation in the institutions that help define not just family but community, history and traditions that have helped to guide our civilisations through time.
I'm not as coldhearted as I may sound as I do accept there are genuine circumstances why people elect not to get married. Still, I'm thankful I'm not as unromantic as to look at a woman and think, wow, I can't believe she's my partner. What a nasty word. This time next week I will have a wife. And I'm very much looking forward to it.
No concept of being part of an ancient cultural tradition going back eons in all cultures and civilisations worldwide. No concept of making a statement to the community and world that you're entering a formal union with a woman out of love and respect (well, hopefully).
I'm inclined to think that this whole not getting married because I don't believe in it is a symptom of the rotten core at the heart of the modern post-liberal west - that we've all become so selfish and individualistic that we're rejecting participation in the institutions that help define not just family but community, history and traditions that have helped to guide our civilisations through time.
I'm not as coldhearted as I may sound as I do accept there are genuine circumstances why people elect not to get married. Still, I'm thankful I'm not as unromantic as to look at a woman and think, wow, I can't believe she's my partner. What a nasty word. This time next week I will have a wife. And I'm very much looking forward to it.
We were together 6 years before marriage - owned houses, cars and had a kid. The paper means nothing. In fact, having lived through a 10 year divorce as a child, I'd say that paper is curse. Look forwards not backwards.
Read this post in 10 years time.
and in the meantime enjoy the sexless wedding night when she is too pissed, feeling emotional or on the blob to let you get your fingers wet. 
Last edited by Millhouse; Jul 16th 2013 at 4:34 pm.
Jul 16th 2013, 5:41 pm
#34
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 13,553
Re: Are you christened?
Correct on almost all of your accounts. Although I have no idea how you conclude selfish and rootless. More like honest and open-minded.
We were together 6 years before marriage - owned houses, cars and had a kid. The paper means nothing. In fact, having lived through a 10 year divorce as a child, I'd say that paper is curse. Look forwards not backwards.
Read this post in 10 years time. and in the meantime enjoy the sexless wedding night when she is too pissed, feeling emotional or on the blob to let you get your fingers wet.
We were together 6 years before marriage - owned houses, cars and had a kid. The paper means nothing. In fact, having lived through a 10 year divorce as a child, I'd say that paper is curse. Look forwards not backwards.
Read this post in 10 years time.
and in the meantime enjoy the sexless wedding night when she is too pissed, feeling emotional or on the blob to let you get your fingers wet.
Jul 17th 2013, 3:18 am
#35
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Dubai, working at Dust World Central
Posts: 3,706
Re: Are you christened?
I know I'm old-fashioned but it does seem the right thing to do IMHO.
Jul 17th 2013, 5:09 am
#36
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Disneyland, Dubai
Posts: 15,887
Re: Are you christened?
Unless you are a complete asshole, splitting a non-married household with joint assets and kids isn't really a walk in the park.
Jul 17th 2013, 5:18 am
#37
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Dubai, working at Dust World Central
Posts: 3,706
Re: Are you christened?
I should have stated that first time I married was for child bearing. Second time I felt waaaay past that stuff (grandkids please) and it was purely a declaration of love to my family and friends.
Last edited by mikewot; Jul 17th 2013 at 5:28 am. Reason: Missed a bit
Jul 17th 2013, 6:31 am
#38
Account Closed
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 0
Re: Are you christened?
I definitely wouldn't have kids with someone who I didn't expect to be with forever. Married or not.
Having a kid is a much bigger decision because it ties you for life. Marriages can be ended, but kids can't be....well, they can be, but you know.
That being said, perhaps the worse stories come from unmarried couples with a kid or two, because they are apparently hard work and stressful so maybe cause more rifts / splits?
Who knows. Anyone who's got this far into my post knows I'm unmarried without kids but think I know more than all of you combined. Which I do.
Having a kid is a much bigger decision because it ties you for life. Marriages can be ended, but kids can't be....well, they can be, but you know.
That being said, perhaps the worse stories come from unmarried couples with a kid or two, because they are apparently hard work and stressful so maybe cause more rifts / splits?
Who knows. Anyone who's got this far into my post knows I'm unmarried without kids but think I know more than all of you combined. Which I do.
Jul 17th 2013, 7:08 am
#39
Knee deep and rising
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,007
Re: Are you christened?
I definitely wouldn't have kids with someone who I didn't expect to be with forever. Married or not.
Having a kid is a much bigger decision because it ties you for life. Marriages can be ended, but kids can't be....well, they can be, but you know.
That being said, perhaps the worse stories come from unmarried couples with a kid or two, because they are apparently hard work and stressful so maybe cause more rifts / splits?
Who knows. Anyone who's got this far into my post knows I'm unmarried without kids but think I know more than all of you combined. Which I do.
Having a kid is a much bigger decision because it ties you for life. Marriages can be ended, but kids can't be....well, they can be, but you know.
That being said, perhaps the worse stories come from unmarried couples with a kid or two, because they are apparently hard work and stressful so maybe cause more rifts / splits?
Who knows. Anyone who's got this far into my post knows I'm unmarried without kids but think I know more than all of you combined. Which I do.
Jul 17th 2013, 7:13 am
#41
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Disneyland, Dubai
Posts: 15,887
Jul 17th 2013, 7:15 am
#42
Account Closed
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 0
Re: Are you christened?
I just think that if you choose to have kids with someone, whether married or not it's a more serious commitment together than anything else. If you enter into anything wondering what you might / might not get out of it financially then you're doing it for the wrong reasons completely.
Jul 17th 2013, 7:26 am
#44
Knee deep and rising
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,007
Re: Are you christened?
If that's how you choose to take it.
I just think that if you choose to have kids with someone, whether married or not it's a more serious commitment together than anything else. If you enter into anything wondering what you might / might not get out of it financially then you're doing it for the wrong reasons completely.
I just think that if you choose to have kids with someone, whether married or not it's a more serious commitment together than anything else. If you enter into anything wondering what you might / might not get out of it financially then you're doing it for the wrong reasons completely.
Anyhow I disagree on two points, firstly the idea of choosing to have kids. What percentage of kids could be considered 'accidental' it's probably very high.
Secondly anyone one entering marriage for financial reasons has as good a chance of surviving as getting married for for love.
