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whatever happened to...

whatever happened to...

Old Feb 18th 2010, 4:23 am
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Default whatever happened to...

...old fashioned good manners...

when i was little, i remember the only bad thing about christmas and birthdays was having to write the sodding thank you letters...my mum made us tailor each one to include a mention of the actual gift and why you liked it, etc etc...

today, if my kids go to a birthday party, they rarely get a thank you card, or occasionally i get a text from the mum...one party they went to the mum handed out a printed card saying "thank you for my present" as soon as it was handed over, which kinda defeats the point really...

i dunno, progress is all well and good, but i think teaching kids these manners is important...maybe it's just a brit thing...?

MM, xx
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Old Feb 18th 2010, 5:20 am
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Default Re: whatever happened to...

Originally Posted by Madam Medusa View Post
...old fashioned good manners...

when i was little, i remember the only bad thing about christmas and birthdays was having to write the sodding thank you letters...my mum made us tailor each one to include a mention of the actual gift and why you liked it, etc etc...

today, if my kids go to a birthday party, they rarely get a thank you card, or occasionally i get a text from the mum...one party they went to the mum handed out a printed card saying "thank you for my present" as soon as it was handed over, which kinda defeats the point really...

i dunno, progress is all well and good, but i think teaching kids these manners is important...maybe it's just a brit thing...?

MM, xx
You hated doing it, yet you want your kids to do it?

Never seen the point in thank you cards. A personal thank you always had more effect. Miss RK has been taught to thank people for presents...except me, of course. I just get a look of disgust. Maybe I should get something other than a Barbie Doll now she's a teenager?
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Old Feb 18th 2010, 5:26 am
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Default Re: whatever happened to...

Originally Posted by Madam Medusa View Post
today, if my kids go to a birthday party, they rarely get a thank you card, or occasionally i get a text from the mum...one party they went to the mum handed out a printed card saying "thank you for my present" as soon as it was handed over, which kinda defeats the point really...

that's odd - we get loads of tailored thank you cards (most of them are still stuck on the fridge)

Mrs Flares can be a tad overzealous in recording who gave what whilst the kids tear the wrapping off and she does a great Columbo if there's a piece of the puzzle missing - i.e. who gave the Bakugan power ball set.

Classier lot in Abu Dhabi though MM
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Old Feb 18th 2010, 5:53 am
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Default Re: whatever happened to...

Originally Posted by Madam Medusa View Post
...old fashioned good manners...

when i was little, i remember the only bad thing about christmas and birthdays was having to write the sodding thank you letters...my mum made us tailor each one to include a mention of the actual gift and why you liked it, etc etc...

today, if my kids go to a birthday party, they rarely get a thank you card, or occasionally i get a text from the mum...one party they went to the mum handed out a printed card saying "thank you for my present" as soon as it was handed over, which kinda defeats the point really...

i dunno, progress is all well and good, but i think teaching kids these manners is important...maybe it's just a brit thing...?

MM, xx

I suspect part of it has to be with our consumer society. Children seem to have hundreds of toys and are bought them for no special reason, whereas when we were small you really only received gifts at Christmas or on your birthday and that made the receiving more special. If you have been brought up with everything you wanted, why bother thanking for something you are likely to receive anyway from another source.

I think manners are very important and that thanking people shows appreciation and class. Even a phone call or SMS to a friend is worthwhile.

RK - it doesn't matter whether the child likes writing thank you letters. It's the principle that is important. Perhaps it also teaches that not everything is life is fun and that it's a small price to pay for being given a gift?

-
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Old Feb 18th 2010, 6:02 am
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Default Re: whatever happened to...

Originally Posted by Meow View Post
I suspect part of it has to be with our consumer society. Children seem to have hundreds of toys and are bought them for no special reason, whereas when we were small you really only received gifts at Christmas or on your birthday and that made the receiving more special. If you have been brought up with everything you wanted, why bother thanking for something you are likely to receive anyway from another source.

I think manners are very important and that thanking people shows appreciation and class. Even a phone call or SMS to a friend is worthwhile.

RK - it doesn't matter whether the child likes writing thank you letters. It's the principle that is important. Perhaps it also teaches that not everything is life is fun and that it's a small price to pay for being given a gift?

-
Not saying there shouldn't be a thank you, but a direct thanks, I think, has more power than a written card. Also, we don't exactly have reliable postal service here and kids are far more technologically advanced than when I was a kid; sms, email, msn etc.

Why cut down more tress just to print something that will go in the bin...or onto a fridge.
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Old Feb 18th 2010, 6:04 am
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Default Re: whatever happened to...

Originally Posted by Roadking View Post
Not saying there shouldn't be a thank you, but a direct thanks, I think, has more power than a written card. Also, we don't exactly have reliable postal service here and kids are far more technologically advanced than when I was a kid; sms, email, msn etc.

Why cut down more tress just to print something that will go in the bin...or onto a fridge.
Then we are agreed. As long as there is some sort of personal thank you, that's just fine.

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Old Feb 18th 2010, 7:08 am
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Default Re: whatever happened to...

No it's not a Brit thing - the French are the worst.

Good friends of mine moved to France several years ago, with their two (then very young) daughters.

After getting to know some families in the village (having worked hard to overcome the traditional and ubiquitous hatred shown by the locals for all people and things non-French), they invited every child in the area of a similar age to the birthday party of one of their daughters (I think she was about 6 or 7).

Afterwards, the French children all agreed it was the best party they'd ever been to, but neither they nor the parents who came to collect them said anything remotely resembling a 'thank you'.

A whole year went by, and not one of the children, nor their parents, ever returned the invitation.........
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Old Feb 18th 2010, 7:14 am
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Default Re: whatever happened to...

Originally Posted by saudiflares View Post
that's odd - we get loads of tailored thank you cards (most of them are still stuck on the fridge)

Mrs Flares can be a tad overzealous in recording who gave what whilst the kids tear the wrapping off and she does a great Columbo if there's a piece of the puzzle missing - i.e. who gave the Bakugan power ball set.

Classier lot in Abu Dhabi though MM
hahaha, it's a bloody nightmare trying to keep track of who gave what...they can't be classier, i'm in dubai...

MM, xx
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Old Feb 18th 2010, 8:26 am
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Default Re: whatever happened to...

A thank you of any kind is nice. When you are in a different part of the world personal thank you's can be difficult. I would love a thank you from some of my ungrateful nieces and nephews. If for no other reason than to know they received it. Every year I keep threatening not to send them anything anymore. If they can't be bothered to thank me, I can't be bothered to get them something. Of course, I haven't done it yet, would feel too mean!
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Old Feb 18th 2010, 9:23 am
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Default Re: whatever happened to...

Originally Posted by 1chumly View Post
A thank you of any kind is nice. When you are in a different part of the world personal thank you's can be difficult. I would love a thank you from some of my ungrateful nieces and nephews. If for no other reason than to know they received it. Every year I keep threatening not to send them anything anymore. If they can't be bothered to thank me, I can't be bothered to get them something. Of course, I haven't done it yet, would feel too mean!
yeah, that's the other part of it, you don't know they received it unless they say thank you...ignorant little sods...

MM, xx
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Old Feb 18th 2010, 10:16 am
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Default Re: whatever happened to...

Originally Posted by Madam Medusa View Post
yeah, that's the other part of it, you don't know they received it unless they say thank you...ignorant little sods...

MM, xx
I have always thanked in person and will get my kids to do so too.

There's actually nothing I hate more than an awkward, churned out thank-you note because you know, deep down that the child considers it a chore to write. I'd rather hear a hasty "aww, thanks!" as the person tears off the wrapping paper than a brief fill-in-the-spaces note through the post weeks later.
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Old Feb 18th 2010, 10:28 am
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Default Re: whatever happened to...

Originally Posted by Hello.Kitty View Post
I have always thanked in person and will get my kids to do so too.

There's actually nothing I hate more than an awkward, churned out thank-you note because you know, deep down that the child considers it a chore to write. I'd rather hear a hasty "aww, thanks!" as the person tears off the wrapping paper than a brief fill-in-the-spaces note through the post weeks later.
I see what you're saying and I too hated writing those tortuous kind of thank you notes as a child but I think the wider point is that going through the chore of writing the damn thing teaches kids to understand the importance of a thank you. If your mum and dad treat it that seriously, it sends a message to the kids that manners are important. My boys are very small but when the time comes they will be writing "thank you" as well as saying it.....
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Old Feb 18th 2010, 11:59 am
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Default Re: whatever happened to...

Originally Posted by Hello.Kitty View Post
I have always thanked in person and will get my kids to do so too.

There's actually nothing I hate more than an awkward, churned out thank-you note because you know, deep down that the child considers it a chore to write. I'd rather hear a hasty "aww, thanks!" as the person tears off the wrapping paper than a brief fill-in-the-spaces note through the post weeks later.
rather presupposes you are there when they are actually opening the present though...

and that is my point, it is a chore for the kid to write, as they have a million other things to do...but it's a chore for the person to go out and buy the present in the first place...it's a chore for kids to eat healthy food, but we make them do that too...good manners mean you send a thank you (of whatever format)...

MM, xx
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Old Feb 18th 2010, 12:08 pm
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Default Re: whatever happened to...

Originally Posted by Madam Medusa View Post
rather presupposes you are there when they are actually opening the present though...

and that is my point, it is a chore for the kid to write, as they have a million other things to do...but it's a chore for the person to go out and buy the present in the first place...it's a chore for kids to eat healthy food, but we make them do that too...good manners mean you send a thank you (of whatever format)...

MM, xx
Wouldn't a FB post or a tweet do nowadays, rather than a proper note? Think of the carbon footprint of all those "Thanks for my Bratz disco-diva outfit" thank you notes being disseminated amongst middle class children.....
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Old Feb 18th 2010, 12:19 pm
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Default Re: whatever happened to...

Originally Posted by shakh your bootie View Post
Wouldn't a FB post or a tweet do nowadays, rather than a proper note? Think of the carbon footprint of all those "Thanks for my Bratz disco-diva outfit" thank you notes being disseminated amongst middle class children.....
yes it would totally...except when it's the mum doing it...that's a cop out for the kids..

MM, xx
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