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Swimming Pool Etiquette

Swimming Pool Etiquette

Old Aug 1st 2010, 5:23 pm
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Default Swimming Pool Etiquette

Right is it acceptable to swear at people in the pool or try to drown them?

Went for a nice relaxing swim after work, and I mean swimming lengths, for an hour, normally the pool is empty but for some reason tonight it was packed, and packed with arseholes who felt the need to stand around doing nothing but getting in my way. Now I know I don't own the pool, but surely if you just want to stand around and chat to your mates and you can see someone is properly swimming you would move to the side rather than keep getting in that persons way, no? well apparently not, after 45 minutes I gave up as was getting too frustrated with them.

Why are people so unaware to whats going on around them? I did say excuse me 3 times as I had to squeeze inbetween them to turn but no completely oblivious! grrr now Im not relaxed at all and want to hurt them!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Kitty
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Old Aug 1st 2010, 5:29 pm
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

Don't pee in the pool, it's not nice. But if you really have to; go to the deep end.

Under no circumstances do you take a dump in the pool...it will follow you around and you can't blame it on the kids as it will be totally the wrong size and shape...probably!
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Old Aug 1st 2010, 5:32 pm
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

I hate that too- and also the swimmers who think it is acceptable to do a really wide slow breast stroke in the fast lane!!! Oh and all the pervs who think it is fun to swim undernesth you and ogle you or touch your breasts/bum as they pass.
Kick them as you go past- they don't take hints as subtle as just swimming or asking them to move by saying "excuse me"
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Old Aug 1st 2010, 6:15 pm
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

As an owner of one of these, I go wherever the tide takes me.

Swimming Pool Etiquette-gecko.jpg

(the gecko not the 8 year old kid and associated MILF)

Last edited by Millhouse; Aug 1st 2010 at 6:23 pm.
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Old Aug 1st 2010, 6:31 pm
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

Originally Posted by Roadking View Post
Don't pee in the pool, it's not nice. But if you really have to; go to the deep end.

Under no circumstances do you take a dump in the pool...it will follow you around and you can't blame it on the kids as it will be totally the wrong size and shape...probably!
..and peeing from the high diving board is also a no-no.
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Old Aug 1st 2010, 6:57 pm
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

Originally Posted by MacScot View Post
..and peeing from the high diving board is also a no-no.
but apparently ejaculating isn't!
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Old Aug 1st 2010, 7:05 pm
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

I went to a friends place tonight and we were in their communal pool having a very nice social time with a crowd of other people. Our time was spoilt by some idiot woman in a gas mask who insisted on trying to swim lengths and constantly disturbing us. I think she thought that just because she was doing the swimming thing we should have moved out of her way! Really some people!!!!!
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Old Aug 1st 2010, 11:36 pm
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

Thank heaven for plunge pools which are too small to swim in and which have strategically designed steps on two sides which facilitate the consumption of grape juice or other such beverages
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Old Aug 2nd 2010, 3:36 am
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

I should have known it was you pats, the bolly and cigs should have given it away! Next time can you not flick the ash in the pool love?
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Old Aug 2nd 2010, 3:47 am
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

Originally Posted by kittycat1 View Post
Right is it acceptable to swear at people in the pool or try to drown them?

Went for a nice relaxing swim after work, and I mean swimming lengths, for an hour, normally the pool is empty but for some reason tonight it was packed, and packed with arseholes who felt the need to stand around doing nothing but getting in my way. Now I know I don't own the pool, but surely if you just want to stand around and chat to your mates and you can see someone is properly swimming you would move to the side rather than keep getting in that persons way, no? well apparently not, after 45 minutes I gave up as was getting too frustrated with them.

Why are people so unaware to whats going on around them? I did say excuse me 3 times as I had to squeeze inbetween them to turn but no completely oblivious! grrr now Im not relaxed at all and want to hurt them!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Kitty
okay....here is the scoop.

I go swimming every single day and the same happens when they dont have the ropes out. The pool at the club usually has 1 lane that is designated for swimming.

When that rope is not there, on occassion you get the odd folk that just loiter around where you are obviously swimming.

Step one: They possibly dont realise, so politley explain to them that whilst this is a place for relaxing, it is (by the name of the thing) a swimming pool and you would like to swim lengths.

Step two: (if 1 fails) keep on swimming. If you are doing freestyle you have an advantage as your head is underwater for periods. During this period when you go to stretch out your leading arm, ensure this collides with the stomache (accidently of course) of the prat. Dont say sorry..never, because your not. If they make a comment then stop and kick off big style with them about being tossers.

Step3: get the lifeguard or whoever in some kind of authority. They will hate it but put them on the spot. Get them to enforce this.

Step4: if its kids, drown them

Step5: repeat

It is just bloody rude when there is a whole pool to laze around at and people deliberatly get in a swimmers way.

That said, if the pool is really really busy with people relaxing, then you need to adopt step1 and hope for the best.
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Old Aug 2nd 2010, 4:24 am
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

Originally Posted by kittycat1 View Post
I should have known it was you pats, the bolly and cigs should have given it away! Next time can you not flick the ash in the pool love?
I don't smoke
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Old Aug 2nd 2010, 4:25 am
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

Originally Posted by commander View Post
okay....here is the scoop.

I go swimming every single day and the same happens when they dont have the ropes out. The pool at the club usually has 1 lane that is designated for swimming.

When that rope is not there, on occassion you get the odd folk that just loiter around where you are obviously swimming.

Step one: They possibly dont realise, so politley explain to them that whilst this is a place for relaxing, it is (by the name of the thing) a swimming pool and you would like to swim lengths.

Step two: (if 1 fails) keep on swimming. If you are doing freestyle you have an advantage as your head is underwater for periods. During this period when you go to stretch out your leading arm, ensure this collides with the stomache (accidently of course) of the prat. Dont say sorry..never, because your not. If they make a comment then stop and kick off big style with them about being tossers.

Step3: get the lifeguard or whoever in some kind of authority. They will hate it but put them on the spot. Get them to enforce this.

Step4: if its kids, drown them

Step5: repeat

It is just bloody rude when there is a whole pool to laze around at and people deliberatly get in a swimmers way.

That said, if the pool is really really busy with people relaxing, then you need to adopt step1 and hope for the best.
you would be no match for me on my gecko.
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Old Aug 2nd 2010, 4:27 am
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

Originally Posted by EmiratesMillhouse View Post
you would be no match for me on my gecko.
id strangle it underwater no problems..
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Old Aug 2nd 2010, 4:30 am
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

What? Pats? Don't tell me you don't have a beehive and a maid called bubbles?
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Old Aug 2nd 2010, 4:38 am
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

Originally Posted by kittycat1 View Post
What? Pats? Don't tell me you don't have a beehive and a maid called bubbles?
I don't eat honey and my maid is efficient
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