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Swimming Pool Etiquette

Swimming Pool Etiquette

Old Aug 2nd 2010, 4:49 am
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

oh pats, please tell me you are fabulous though? I need to know ab fab lives on!
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Old Aug 2nd 2010, 5:13 am
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

Step3: get the lifeguard or whoever in some kind of authority. They will hate it but put them on the spot. Get them to enforce this.
When the lifeguard(s) is not busy giving swimming lessons, he is busy chatting with the maids/nannies.

On another note, is it too much to shower before you get into the pool?
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Old Aug 2nd 2010, 5:17 am
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

Originally Posted by Forsu View Post
When the lifeguard(s) is not busy giving swimming lessons, he is busy chatting with the maids/nannies.

On another note, is it too much to shower before you get into the pool?
why? the chlorine takes care of that
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Old Aug 2nd 2010, 5:44 am
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

Originally Posted by kittycat1 View Post
oh pats, please tell me you are fabulous though? I need to know ab fab lives on!
Ofcourse I am darling..........just ask Weescot and Gracie
I am Patsy!!
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Old Aug 2nd 2010, 5:47 am
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

Originally Posted by Patsy Stoned View Post
Ofcourse I am darling..........just ask Weescot and Gracie
I am Patsy!!
Lol absolutely Patsy
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Old Aug 2nd 2010, 6:28 am
  #21  
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Talking Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

Originally Posted by carolinephillips View Post
touch your bum as they pass.
We’ve met? I only do it when overtaking from behind though. I’m fair though, if you overtake me you can slap my toosh. Equality and such .

I had an embarrassing incident at the pool once, there where about 3 other witnesses and a victim. I was lazily lapping the pool on my back not really watching where I was going but still semi-spatially aware. Knew I was coming close to the edge of the pool when suddenly there was this soft bump from behind my head. “Curious” I thought. “I know. I’ll have run into a foam toy” while reached around to pull it aside, to my horror (and secret delight of course ) I very suddenly aware of the fact that I had in fact run aground on a smashing set of uber-norks and then had reached out and grab one . Turned over and mumbled about being terribly sorry (what could I do? I didn’t think offering to rub it better was going to remedy the situation) before swimming off with a face about the same colour as beetroot (probably). Must have looked like such a perv .
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Old Aug 2nd 2010, 6:31 am
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

Originally Posted by Charismatic View Post
We’ve met? I only do it when overtaking from behind though. I’m fair though, if you overtake me you can slap my toosh. Equality and such .

I had an embarrassing incident at the pool once, there where about 3 other witnesses and a victim. I was lazily lapping the pool on my back not really watching where I was going but still semi-spatially aware. Knew I was coming close to the edge of the pool when suddenly there was this soft bump from behind my head. “Curious” I thought. “I know. I’ll have run into a foam toy” while reached around to pull it aside, to my horror (and secret delight of course ) I very suddenly aware of the fact that I had in fact run aground on a smashing set of uber-norks and then had reached out and grab one . Turned over and mumbled about being terribly sorry (what could I do? I didn’t think offering to rub it better was going to remedy the situation) before swimming off with a face about the same colour as beetroot (probably). Must have looked like such a perv .
This reminds me of the roller-skating incident I had at "RollerBury" in Bury St. Edmunds.

I was going along, stumbled, fell and reach out to break my fall. In front of me, and through no fault of my own, was a rather large pair of breasts owned by a very nice young lady.

She took it quite well really.
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Old Aug 2nd 2010, 6:34 am
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Smile Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

Originally Posted by EmiratesMillhouse View Post
She took it quite well really.
She kicked you?
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Old Aug 2nd 2010, 8:11 am
  #24  
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

Chuck a Lion bar in the pool.

Point and it and scream.

Wait 30 seconds for everyone to spot what looks like a floating turd. Then pick it up, sniff it and take a bite.

No one will get in your way again.

NB. Be careful doing this in the company of small children as there is a slight chance of picking up a genuine floater if not paying attention carefully.
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Old Aug 2nd 2010, 8:18 am
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

when I'm im water I'm usually to busy watching out for Japanese whalers to worry about anything else!
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Old Aug 2nd 2010, 8:24 am
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

http://www.break.com/index/lifeguard.html
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Old Aug 2nd 2010, 5:19 pm
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

Originally Posted by commander View Post
okay....here is the scoop.

I go swimming every single day and the same happens when they dont have the ropes out. The pool at the club usually has 1 lane that is designated for swimming.

When that rope is not there, on occassion you get the odd folk that just loiter around where you are obviously swimming.

Step one: They possibly dont realise, so politley explain to them that whilst this is a place for relaxing, it is (by the name of the thing) a swimming pool and you would like to swim lengths.

Step two: (if 1 fails) keep on swimming. If you are doing freestyle you have an advantage as your head is underwater for periods. During this period when you go to stretch out your leading arm, ensure this collides with the stomache (accidently of course) of the prat. Dont say sorry..never, because your not. If they make a comment then stop and kick off big style with them about being tossers.

Step3: get the lifeguard or whoever in some kind of authority. They will hate it but put them on the spot. Get them to enforce this.

Step4: if its kids, drown them

Step5: repeat

It is just bloody rude when there is a whole pool to laze around at and people deliberatly get in a swimmers way.

That said, if the pool is really really busy with people relaxing, then you need to adopt step1 and hope for the best.
some ginger scottish geezer insisted on continuing to swim lengths in the pool despite my continued attempts to stop him - I wanted to know why he was swimming in my private pool in my back garden..
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Old Aug 2nd 2010, 6:15 pm
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

this is quite funny!
well done everyone!
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Old Aug 3rd 2010, 8:56 am
  #29  
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Default Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette

Originally Posted by benzonar View Post
but apparently ejaculating isn't!
Nah...you'll get barred and not allowed to come again.
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