Spanking

Old Oct 1st 2009, 7:41 am
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Default Spanking

It's not what some of you might think.... Just been reading the debate in 7Days on the issue of whether or not to spank your child if he/she is really naughty. Although I have never spanked my 5yo daughter, I would probably do so (with her mother's permission) if all else fails and so long as I explain to her afterwards that we still love her. Using a belt or ruler would be a definite no no, however. What does the team think?
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Old Oct 1st 2009, 7:58 am
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Default Re: Spanking

Originally Posted by lionheart View Post
It's not what some of you might think.... Just been reading the debate in 7Days on the issue of whether or not to spank your child if he/she is really naughty. Although I have never spanked my 5yo daughter, I would probably do so (with her mother's permission) if all else fails and so long as I explain to her afterwards that we still love her. Using a belt or ruler would be a definite no no, however. What does the team think?
I was worried there...

I'm not a parent, however I don't agree with any physical violence towards a child.

I got smacked very occasionally as a kid and I guess it didn't do me harm, but on principle I don't think it is the answer or the right thing to do...

But again - I'm not a parent - so it's all theory from me!
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Old Oct 1st 2009, 8:00 am
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Default Re: Spanking

Originally Posted by Autonomy View Post
I was worried there...

I'm not a parent, however I don't agree with any physical violence towards a child.

I got smacked very occasionally as a kid and I guess it didn't do me harm, but on principle I don't think it is the answer or the right thing to do...

But again - I'm not a parent - so it's all theory from me!
this is so hard and I am not going to lie to anyone, I have smacked Mitten a few times and she deserved it, BUT I won't do it again as I felt really shit afterwards
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Old Oct 1st 2009, 8:04 am
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Default Re: Spanking

My parents smacked both my brother and I, and we knew how to behave. All my mother had to say was, "embarrass me and I'll embarrass you" which meant she would quite happily smack our bottoms in the supermarket for throwing a tantrum. That threat would make us stop performing and behave immediately. I'm all for moderate smacking.
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Old Oct 1st 2009, 8:10 am
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Default Re: Spanking

sometimes a quick smack on the bum is what is needed, no belts, rulers, slippers etc. tho. But there are some kids you see who really do need a short sharp slap to put them right.

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Old Oct 1st 2009, 8:13 am
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Default Re: Spanking

Originally Posted by lionheart View Post
It's not what some of you might think.... Just been reading the debate in 7Days on the issue of whether or not to spank your child if he/she is really naughty. Although I have never spanked my 5yo daughter, I would probably do so (with her mother's permission) if all else fails and so long as I explain to her afterwards that we still love her. Using a belt or ruler would be a definite no no, however. What does the team think?
And what do you do next if whacking her butt doesn't work...punch her on the face?.

What p's you off most LH? Not getting to see your fav footie team on the telly?
Or not getting out to your fav pub?
Same, same.....deprivation of fav things or exclusion from friends....hurts more in some ways.You've lost the road back when you hit a child. IMHO

Last edited by Eva; Oct 1st 2009 at 8:17 am.
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Old Oct 1st 2009, 8:14 am
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Default Re: Spanking

agree totally. there is nothing wrong with very rare moderate spanking. especially if the kid has done something dangerous
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Old Oct 1st 2009, 8:17 am
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Default Re: Spanking

Originally Posted by Eva View Post
And what do you do next if whacking her butt doesn't work...punch her on the face?.

What p's you off most LH? Not getting to see your fav footie team on the telly?
Or not getting out to your fav pub?
Same, same.....deprivation of fav things or exclusion from friends....hurts more in some ways.You've lost the road back when you hit a child. IMHO
I agree, however, I have smacked my boys' bums, and its more through my temper than a well thought out punishment, of which I'm not proud.

I used to get slippered when I was little, I can't imagine actually using something to hit your child with!
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Old Oct 1st 2009, 8:23 am
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Default Re: Spanking

Originally Posted by Inselaffen View Post
agree totally. there is nothing wrong with very rare moderate spanking. especially if the kid has done something dangerous
Mitten put her finger in an electric socket!!
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Old Oct 1st 2009, 8:27 am
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Default Re: Spanking

i don't believe in smacking at all...i was only ever smacked by my mum, the threat of my dad smacking me was always there, but i don't remember him ever doing it...however, i think you can discipline perfectly well without hitting...

MM, xx
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Old Oct 1st 2009, 8:29 am
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Default Re: Spanking

Originally Posted by lionheart View Post
so long as I explain to her afterwards that we still love her
isn't that the same mixed message that abusive husbands use...

MM, xx
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Old Oct 1st 2009, 8:51 am
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Default Re: Spanking

Originally Posted by Madam Medusa View Post
isn't that the same mixed message that abusive husbands use...

MM, xx
Excellent observation MM, would certainly prompt the same question :
'If you love me then why are you hurting me?'

I think spanking is reactive behaviour and not really about suitable punishment.imho.
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Old Oct 1st 2009, 8:52 am
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Default Re: Spanking

Originally Posted by Eva View Post
Excellent observation MM, would certainly prompt the same question :
'If you love me then why are you hurting me?'

I think spanking is reactive behaviour and not really about suitable punishment.imho.
it is definately reactive behaviour and often just done to vent your own feelings rather than punish the child.
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Old Oct 1st 2009, 8:59 am
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Default Re: Spanking

Originally Posted by Eva View Post
Excellent observation MM, would certainly prompt the same question :
'If you love me then why are you hurting me?'

I think spanking is reactive behaviour and not really about suitable punishment.imho.
Having never spanked a child myself, I am simply looking for advice from those who have. The general consensus elsewhere seems to be that sometimes you have to be a little cruel to be kind, as its a nasty world out there. I thought love hurts anyway...
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Old Oct 1st 2009, 9:29 am
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Default Re: Spanking

Originally Posted by lionheart View Post
It's not what some of you might think.... Just been reading the debate in 7Days on the issue of whether or not to spank your child if he/she is really naughty. Although I have never spanked my 5yo daughter, I would probably do so (with her mother's permission) if all else fails and so long as I explain to her afterwards that we still love her. Using a belt or ruler would be a definite no no, however. What does the team think?
I'm old school...I don't see what is wrong with spanking a child for doing something quite bad (e.g. cracking my next door neighbour over the head with a wooden sword and splitting his head). It always worked for me and my sister, nothing too hard (it was more of a slap on the back of the legs), then the threat of it was all that was needed. When it is required is all down to the parents common sense.
My dad never did it, mam always gave out the punishment.
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