lionheart

It's not what some of you might think.... Just been reading the debate in 7Days on the issue of whether or not to spank your child if he/she is really naughty. Although I have never spanked my 5yo daughter, I would probably do so (with her mother's permission) if all else fails and so long as I explain to her afterwards that we still love her. Using a belt or ruler would be a definite no no, however. What does the team think?

Autonomy

I was worried there...

I'm not a parent, however I don't agree with any physical violence towards a child.

I got smacked very occasionally as a kid and I guess it didn't do me harm, but on principle I don't think it is the answer or the right thing to do...

But again - I'm not a parent - so it's all theory from me!

Blue Cat

this is so hard and I am not going to lie to anyone, I have smacked Mitten a few times and she deserved it, BUT I won't do it again as I felt really shit afterwards

Emerald_Eyes

My parents smacked both my brother and I, and we knew how to behave. All my mother had to say was, "embarrass me and I'll embarrass you" which meant she would quite happily smack our bottoms in the supermarket for throwing a tantrum. That threat would make us stop performing and behave immediately. I'm all for moderate smacking.

Nic1

sometimes a quick smack on the bum is what is needed, no belts, rulers, slippers etc. tho. But there are some kids you see who really do need a short sharp slap to put them right.

N

Eva

And what do you do next if whacking her butt doesn't work...punch her on the face?.

What p's you off most LH? Not getting to see your fav footie team on the telly?
Or not getting out to your fav pub?
Same, same.....deprivation of fav things or exclusion from friends....hurts more in some ways.You've lost the road back when you hit a child. IMHO

Inselaffen

agree totally. there is nothing wrong with very rare moderate spanking. especially if the kid has done something dangerous

Morecambe Mindy

I agree, however, I have smacked my boys' bums, and its more through my temper than a well thought out punishment, of which I'm not proud.

I used to get slippered when I was little, I can't imagine actually using something to hit your child with!

Blue Cat

Mitten put her finger in an electric socket!!

Madam Medusa

i don't believe in smacking at all...i was only ever smacked by my mum, the threat of my dad smacking me was always there, but i don't remember him ever doing it...however, i think you can discipline perfectly well without hitting...

MM, xx

Madam Medusa

isn't that the same mixed message that abusive husbands use...

MM, xx

Eva

Excellent observation MM, would certainly prompt the same question :
'If you love me then why are you hurting me?'

I think spanking is reactive behaviour and not really about suitable punishment.imho.

Blue Cat

it is definately reactive behaviour and often just done to vent your own feelings rather than punish the child.

lionheart

Having never spanked a child myself, I am simply looking for advice from those who have. The general consensus elsewhere seems to be that sometimes you have to be a little cruel to be kind, as its a nasty world out there. I thought love hurts anyway...

NorthernLad

I'm old school...I don't see what is wrong with spanking a child for doing something quite bad (e.g. cracking my next door neighbour over the head with a wooden sword and splitting his head). It always worked for me and my sister, nothing too hard (it was more of a slap on the back of the legs), then the threat of it was all that was needed. When it is required is all down to the parents common sense.
My dad never did it, mam always gave out the punishment.