The Dean

The missus bought a Paperback
...down Shepton, Saturday,
I had a look inside her bag;
.......T'was "fifty shades of grey".

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…..

In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
..... She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
.....I am the dominator !!

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!

Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of Grey.

Bahtatboy

I'm really pissed off with all this 50 Shades nonsense. Nobody believes that my collection pre-dates the book, they all accuse me of just jumping on the bandwagon.

Patsy Stoned

That is because most of them have never even heard of "The Story of O" darling

ann m

That was just beautiful, I'm welling up.

Thank you for my morning giggle.

littlejimmy

Brilliant. Did you write that, Dean

Crewegirl

That is brilliant. Thank you Dean.