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-   -   A poem.............. (https://britishexpats.com/forum/sand-pit-116/poem-777495/)

The Dean Nov 13th 2012 3:12 am

A poem..............
 
The missus bought a Paperback
...down Shepton, Saturday,
I had a look inside her bag;
.......T'was "fifty shades of grey".

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…..

In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
..... She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
.....I am the dominator !!

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!

Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of Grey.

Bahtatboy Nov 13th 2012 1:01 pm

Re: A poem..............
 
I'm really pissed off with all this 50 Shades nonsense. Nobody believes that my collection pre-dates the book, they all accuse me of just jumping on the bandwagon. :frown:

Patsy Stoned Nov 13th 2012 2:30 pm

Re: A poem..............
 

Originally Posted by Bahtatboy (Post 10380228)
I'm really pissed off with all this 50 Shades nonsense. Nobody believes that my collection pre-dates the book, they all accuse me of just jumping on the bandwagon. :frown:

That is because most of them have never even heard of "The Story of O" darling ;) :D

ann m Nov 13th 2012 2:36 pm

Re: A poem..............
 
That was just beautiful, I'm welling up.

Thank you for my morning giggle.

littlejimmy Nov 13th 2012 2:43 pm

Re: A poem..............
 
Brilliant. Did you write that, Dean

Crewegirl Nov 13th 2012 2:52 pm

Re: A poem..............
 
That is brilliant. Thank you Dean.


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