I've been thinking about Blackburn beer garden wanker a lot, and I've come to the conclusion: he is a self-expressionist of the highest order, Britain's greatest living artist. Has Banksy done anything close to being as subversive as giving himself a coke-fuelled handy in a pub garden in Blackburn? He has not. Does anything say "Britain" more than the image of a tired fork lift truck operator, coked out of his mind, emotionlessly wanking under a Thwaites-branded bench umbrella? We should put that on tourist pamphlets instead of a picture of the Queen. We should have had that instead of the Olympic opening ceremony.