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Life skills for the Middle East

Life skills for the Middle East

Old Apr 15th 2014, 11:37 am
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Default Life skills for the Middle East

There must be a load of skills that are particularly relevant for this region.

I'll start

1. Able to give directions to your home to the delivery driver five times without losing your temper.

2. Know that the cold tap is hot and the hot tap is cold from May to October.

3. How to pull away from traffic lights in 0.0005 seconds

4. You can find your way around Dubai Mall without getting lost. Bonus point for the car park too.

5. Knowing exactly what version of 'smart casual' is required for any occasion
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Old Apr 15th 2014, 11:43 am
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Default Re: Life skills for the Middle East

Knowing how to respond when someone says, in earnest, that Islam is all about peace.
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Old Apr 15th 2014, 11:46 am
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Default Re: Life skills for the Middle East

Originally Posted by Meow View Post
There must be a load of skills that are particularly relevant for this region.

4. You can find your way around Dubai Mall without getting lost. Bonus point for the car park too.
Can someone tell me how to get to Fashion Parking? No matter how hard I seem to try I end up in Cinema ****ing Parking everytime. I can see the mall from my balcony and still can't find a sensible route into it without traffic traffic traffic.

6. Being able to say 2 in a what it's not mistake for 3.
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Old Apr 15th 2014, 11:53 am
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Default Re: Life skills for the Middle East

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
6. Being able to say 2 in a what it's not mistake for 3.
Clarity in written English doesn't go amiss, either...
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Old Apr 15th 2014, 11:57 am
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Default Re: Life skills for the Middle East

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
Can someone tell me how to get to Fashion Parking? No matter how hard I seem to try I end up in Cinema ****ing Parking everytime. I can see the mall from my balcony and still can't find a sensible route into it without traffic traffic traffic.
I hate the Dubai Mall car park so much that whenever I go there I park in Souk al Bahar and walk over.



Not being surprised when able-bodied adults are incapable of packing a bag or carrying one all by themselves.

Not being phased by 99 food options at a brunch.
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Old Apr 15th 2014, 11:58 am
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Default Re: Life skills for the Middle East

Originally Posted by Bahtatboy View Post
Knowing how to respond when someone says, in earnest, that Islam is all about peace.
Ha! Ditto when someone claims Ramadan is about abstinence.
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Old Apr 15th 2014, 12:12 pm
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Default Re: Life skills for the Middle East

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
Can someone tell me how to get to Fashion Parking?
When you come from the Meydan side drive straight past and take the left at the far end, at the first traffic lights turn left and then filter to the right. That is fashion parking. You used to be able to go up the corkscrew but they closed it down.

Compared to the SkyCity parking in Auckland, Dubai Mall is a breeze.

Last edited by Dumbo; Apr 15th 2014 at 12:16 pm.
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Old Apr 15th 2014, 12:26 pm
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Default Re: Life skills for the Middle East

Originally Posted by Meow View Post
I hate the Dubai Mall car park so much that whenever I go there I park in Souk al Bahar and walk over.
By far the best place is Cinema parking level 2. Travelling from FinTake the right off of Emaar Boulevard just before The Address. First right again up the ramp, this take you out at level 3. Once inside go straight all the way to the end of the car park and take the ramp down to level 2. It's never more than half full, if that.


Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
Can someone tell me how to get to Fashion Parking? No matter how hard I seem to try I end up in Cinema ****ing Parking everytime. I can see the mall from my balcony and still can't find a sensible route into it without traffic traffic traffic..
From your gaffe it's not a pretty journey now they've dicked about with the road layouts and lights! Only sensible ways are if coming round the back of Emaar Sq, and go straight at the lights on Emaar Boulevard, or coming off Financial Rd and going left at the 1st set of lights. You can also drive all the way under the mall from the cinema parking side to the fashion parking side, and vice versa.
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Old Apr 15th 2014, 12:32 pm
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Default Re: Life skills for the Middle East

7. Should the need ever arise to claim in court, with a straight face, that you'd been to an all day brunch and then continued drinking until 2am and had "6 or 7 drinks", and that was why you were caught...insert standard drunken expat misdemeanor
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Old Apr 15th 2014, 12:45 pm
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Default Re: Life skills for the Middle East

Originally Posted by Bahtatboy View Post
Clarity in written English doesn't go amiss, either...
Yeah, weird, so what I meant was; whenever I give my phone number with a '2' in it, they always repeat it as a '3'. Bizarre.

Originally Posted by Meow View Post
I hate the Dubai Mall car park so much that whenever I go there I park in Souk al Bahar and walk over.
Smart move.

Originally Posted by Dumbo View Post
When you come from the Meydan side drive straight past and take the left at the far end, at the first traffic lights turn left and then filter to the right. That is fashion parking. You used to be able to go up the corkscrew but they closed it down.

Compared to the SkyCity parking in Auckland, Dubai Mall is a breeze.
I think I know what you mean. Problem is, from Business Bay you get onto Emaar Boulevard or whatever it's called now and they randomly close off U-Turns / Left Turns so end up just going into Cinema Parking anyway.

Alternative is to drive under towards DIFC, do the U-Turn and come back in that way...which is I think a way to get to Fashion...
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Old Apr 15th 2014, 12:47 pm
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Default Re: Life skills for the Middle East

Originally Posted by the_red_sheep View Post
By far the best place is Cinema parking level 2. Travelling from FinTake the right off of Emaar Boulevard just before The Address. First right again up the ramp, this take you out at level 3. Once inside go straight all the way to the end of the car park and take the ramp down to level 2. It's never more than half full, if that.




From your gaffe it's not a pretty journey now they've dicked about with the road layouts and lights! Only sensible ways are if coming round the back of Emaar Sq, and go straight at the lights on Emaar Boulevard, or coming off Financial Rd and going left at the 1st set of lights. You can also drive all the way under the mall from the cinema parking side to the fashion parking side, and vice versa.
Sometimes that ramp isn't open (the one inside at the far end), they force you to turn left and stay on that level or to leave the car park.

TBH the biggest problem is the dickheads in the cars in the car park.
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Old Apr 15th 2014, 12:56 pm
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Default Re: Life skills for the Middle East

8. Be able to gloss over posts about shopping mall parking ...
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Old Apr 15th 2014, 1:00 pm
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Default Re: Life skills for the Middle East

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
Sometimes that ramp isn't open (the one inside at the far end), they force you to turn left and stay on that level or to leave the car park.
Never had that problem with the ramp, but if I'm not at the mall by around midday on the weekend I avoid it like the plague.

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
TBH the biggest problem is the dickheads in the cars in the car park.
And the dickhead who are not in cars.
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Old Apr 15th 2014, 1:02 pm
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Default Re: Life skills for the Middle East

Originally Posted by the_red_sheep View Post
Never had that problem with the ramp, but if I'm not at the mall by around midday on the weekend I avoid it like the plague.



And the dickhead who are not in cars.
Indeed.

9. Be able to to read any road 5-6 cars in front with an awareness that would make you a Driving Instructor in the UK.
10. Be able to brake, check the mirrors and click on the hazards at the same time.
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Old Apr 15th 2014, 1:04 pm
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Default Re: Life skills for the Middle East

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
Can someone tell me how to get to Fashion Parking? No matter how hard I seem to try I end up in Cinema ****ing Parking everytime. I can see the mall from my balcony and still can't find a sensible route into it without traffic traffic traffic.

6. Being able to say 2 in a what it's not mistake for 3.
I stay on the street that runs past the Mall and when I invariably cock up directions and try and cut through the carpark It is a disaster. Last time I drove around it 8 times..........
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