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-   -   Life skills for the Middle East (https://britishexpats.com/forum/sand-pit-116/life-skills-middle-east-831355/)

Meow Apr 15th 2014 11:37 am

Life skills for the Middle East
 
There must be a load of skills that are particularly relevant for this region.

I'll start

1. Able to give directions to your home to the delivery driver five times without losing your temper.

2. Know that the cold tap is hot and the hot tap is cold from May to October.

3. How to pull away from traffic lights in 0.0005 seconds

4. You can find your way around Dubai Mall without getting lost. Bonus point for the car park too.

5. Knowing exactly what version of 'smart casual' is required for any occasion

Bahtatboy Apr 15th 2014 11:43 am

Re: Life skills for the Middle East
 
Knowing how to respond when someone says, in earnest, that Islam is all about peace.

scrubbedexpat141 Apr 15th 2014 11:46 am

Re: Life skills for the Middle East
 

Originally Posted by Meow (Post 11219803)
There must be a load of skills that are particularly relevant for this region.

4. You can find your way around Dubai Mall without getting lost. Bonus point for the car park too.

Can someone tell me how to get to Fashion Parking? No matter how hard I seem to try I end up in Cinema ****ing Parking everytime. I can see the mall from my balcony and still can't find a sensible route into it without traffic traffic traffic.

6. Being able to say 2 in a what it's not mistake for 3.

Bahtatboy Apr 15th 2014 11:53 am

Re: Life skills for the Middle East
 

Originally Posted by Scamp (Post 11219822)
6. Being able to say 2 in a what it's not mistake for 3.

Clarity in written English doesn't go amiss, either...

Meow Apr 15th 2014 11:57 am

Re: Life skills for the Middle East
 

Originally Posted by Scamp (Post 11219822)
Can someone tell me how to get to Fashion Parking? No matter how hard I seem to try I end up in Cinema ****ing Parking everytime. I can see the mall from my balcony and still can't find a sensible route into it without traffic traffic traffic.

I hate the Dubai Mall car park so much that whenever I go there I park in Souk al Bahar and walk over.



Not being surprised when able-bodied adults are incapable of packing a bag or carrying one all by themselves.

Not being phased by 99 food options at a brunch.

Meow Apr 15th 2014 11:58 am

Re: Life skills for the Middle East
 

Originally Posted by Bahtatboy (Post 11219814)
Knowing how to respond when someone says, in earnest, that Islam is all about peace.

Ha! Ditto when someone claims Ramadan is about abstinence.

Dumbo Apr 15th 2014 12:12 pm

Re: Life skills for the Middle East
 

Originally Posted by Scamp (Post 11219822)
Can someone tell me how to get to Fashion Parking?

When you come from the Meydan side drive straight past and take the left at the far end, at the first traffic lights turn left and then filter to the right. That is fashion parking. You used to be able to go up the corkscrew but they closed it down.

Compared to the SkyCity parking in Auckland, Dubai Mall is a breeze.

the_red_sheep Apr 15th 2014 12:26 pm

Re: Life skills for the Middle East
 

Originally Posted by Meow (Post 11219840)
I hate the Dubai Mall car park so much that whenever I go there I park in Souk al Bahar and walk over.

By far the best place is Cinema parking level 2. Travelling from FinTake the right off of Emaar Boulevard just before The Address. First right again up the ramp, this take you out at level 3. Once inside go straight all the way to the end of the car park and take the ramp down to level 2. It's never more than half full, if that.



Originally Posted by Scamp (Post 11219822)
Can someone tell me how to get to Fashion Parking? No matter how hard I seem to try I end up in Cinema ****ing Parking everytime. I can see the mall from my balcony and still can't find a sensible route into it without traffic traffic traffic..

From your gaffe it's not a pretty journey now they've dicked about with the road layouts and lights! Only sensible ways are if coming round the back of Emaar Sq, and go straight at the lights on Emaar Boulevard, or coming off Financial Rd and going left at the 1st set of lights. You can also drive all the way under the mall from the cinema parking side to the fashion parking side, and vice versa.

the_red_sheep Apr 15th 2014 12:32 pm

Re: Life skills for the Middle East
 
7. Should the need ever arise to claim in court, with a straight face, that you'd been to an all day brunch and then continued drinking until 2am and had "6 or 7 drinks", and that was why you were caught...insert standard drunken expat misdemeanor

scrubbedexpat141 Apr 15th 2014 12:45 pm

Re: Life skills for the Middle East
 

Originally Posted by Bahtatboy (Post 11219833)
Clarity in written English doesn't go amiss, either...

Yeah, weird, so what I meant was; whenever I give my phone number with a '2' in it, they always repeat it as a '3'. Bizarre.


Originally Posted by Meow (Post 11219840)
I hate the Dubai Mall car park so much that whenever I go there I park in Souk al Bahar and walk over.

Smart move.


Originally Posted by Dumbo (Post 11219866)
When you come from the Meydan side drive straight past and take the left at the far end, at the first traffic lights turn left and then filter to the right. That is fashion parking. You used to be able to go up the corkscrew but they closed it down.

Compared to the SkyCity parking in Auckland, Dubai Mall is a breeze.

I think I know what you mean. Problem is, from Business Bay you get onto Emaar Boulevard or whatever it's called now and they randomly close off U-Turns / Left Turns so end up just going into Cinema Parking anyway.

Alternative is to drive under towards DIFC, do the U-Turn and come back in that way...which is I think a way to get to Fashion...

scrubbedexpat141 Apr 15th 2014 12:47 pm

Re: Life skills for the Middle East
 

Originally Posted by the_red_sheep (Post 11219880)
By far the best place is Cinema parking level 2. Travelling from FinTake the right off of Emaar Boulevard just before The Address. First right again up the ramp, this take you out at level 3. Once inside go straight all the way to the end of the car park and take the ramp down to level 2. It's never more than half full, if that.




From your gaffe it's not a pretty journey now they've dicked about with the road layouts and lights! Only sensible ways are if coming round the back of Emaar Sq, and go straight at the lights on Emaar Boulevard, or coming off Financial Rd and going left at the 1st set of lights. You can also drive all the way under the mall from the cinema parking side to the fashion parking side, and vice versa.

Sometimes that ramp isn't open (the one inside at the far end), they force you to turn left and stay on that level or to leave the car park.

TBH the biggest problem is the dickheads in the cars in the car park.

Bahtatboy Apr 15th 2014 12:56 pm

Re: Life skills for the Middle East
 
8. Be able to gloss over posts about shopping mall parking ...

the_red_sheep Apr 15th 2014 1:00 pm

Re: Life skills for the Middle East
 

Originally Posted by Scamp (Post 11219919)
Sometimes that ramp isn't open (the one inside at the far end), they force you to turn left and stay on that level or to leave the car park.

Never had that problem with the ramp, but if I'm not at the mall by around midday on the weekend I avoid it like the plague.


Originally Posted by Scamp (Post 11219919)
TBH the biggest problem is the dickheads in the cars in the car park.

And the dickhead who are not in cars.

scrubbedexpat141 Apr 15th 2014 1:02 pm

Re: Life skills for the Middle East
 

Originally Posted by the_red_sheep (Post 11219937)
Never had that problem with the ramp, but if I'm not at the mall by around midday on the weekend I avoid it like the plague.



And the dickhead who are not in cars.

Indeed.

9. Be able to to read any road 5-6 cars in front with an awareness that would make you a Driving Instructor in the UK.
10. Be able to brake, check the mirrors and click on the hazards at the same time.

britexpat76 Apr 15th 2014 1:04 pm

Re: Life skills for the Middle East
 

Originally Posted by Scamp (Post 11219822)
Can someone tell me how to get to Fashion Parking? No matter how hard I seem to try I end up in Cinema ****ing Parking everytime. I can see the mall from my balcony and still can't find a sensible route into it without traffic traffic traffic.

6. Being able to say 2 in a what it's not mistake for 3.

I stay on the street that runs past the Mall and when I invariably cock up directions and try and cut through the carpark It is a disaster. Last time I drove around it 8 times..........


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