Gis a Job!

Old Apr 4th 2008, 2:45 pm
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Default Gis a Job!

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!


NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries
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Old Apr 4th 2008, 2:46 pm
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Default Re: Gis a Job!

i would love that to be true...but he sounds a bit too articulte for a maccy d's person...

MM, xx
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Old Apr 4th 2008, 3:12 pm
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Default Re: Gis a Job!

Originally Posted by Madam Medusa View Post
i would love that to be true...but he sounds a bit too articulte for a maccy d's person...

MM, xx
Very good point, MM.............

But he can spell, unlike some people.................
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Old Apr 4th 2008, 3:14 pm
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Default Re: Gis a Job!

Originally Posted by ScotsExpat View Post
Very good point, MM.............

But he can spell, unlike some people.................
lol, yeah, it was a typo, i know how to spell, honest...

MM, xx
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Old Apr 4th 2008, 3:17 pm
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Default Re: Gis a Job!

Originally Posted by Madam Medusa View Post
lol, yeah, it was a typo, i know how to spell, honest...

MM, xx
I should hope so, or else Im gonna have to start believing that 'Degree outta Xmas cracker' graffitti that Inse keeps writing in Aussie Legends bathroom is true................
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Old Apr 4th 2008, 3:18 pm
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Default Re: Gis a Job!

Originally Posted by ScotsExpat View Post
I should hope so, or else Im gonna have to start believing that 'Degree outta Xmas cracker' graffitti that Inse keeps writing in Aussie Legends bathroom is true................
lol...nah, i promise i'll do better in future...

MM, xx
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Old Apr 4th 2008, 3:19 pm
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Default Re: Gis a Job!

How do these urban myths start?

Still funny though.
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Old Apr 4th 2008, 5:08 pm
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Default Re: Gis a Job!

Originally Posted by Griff_500 View Post
How do these urban myths start?

Still funny though.
How VERY dare you, sir....

Ill have you know that what I wrote was a joke, a gag, as you will, and I am convinced that MM DOES possess a degree and, within the week, will have confirmed said and posted on Snopes.com......

How VERY dare you..........
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Old Apr 4th 2008, 11:36 pm
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Default Re: Gis a Job!

Originally Posted by Madam Medusa View Post
i would love that to be true...but he sounds a bit too articulte for a maccy d's person...

MM, xx
The blonde with big ....
is correct
http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/mcdonald.asp



And here is the 1997 original
http://www.bulmash.com/04-10-97.html

Last edited by Ray; Apr 4th 2008 at 11:44 pm.
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Old Apr 5th 2008, 3:21 am
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Default Re: Gis a Job!

Originally Posted by Ray View Post
The blonde with big ....
is correct
http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/mcdonald.asp



And here is the 1997 original
http://www.bulmash.com/04-10-97.html
presume you're talking about my big smile ray, hahahaha...

MM, xx
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Old Apr 5th 2008, 4:06 am
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Default Re: Gis a Job!

Originally Posted by Madam Medusa View Post
presume you're talking about my big smile ray, hahahaha...

MM, xx
Of course ..what else ... I just missed the word
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Old Apr 5th 2008, 9:55 am
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Default Re: Gis a Job!

Also, I don't think an American would say the best thing since sliced bread!
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Old Apr 5th 2008, 1:07 pm
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Default Re: Gis a Job!

Originally Posted by Coxy the Bear View Post
Also, I don't think an American would say the best thing since sliced bread!
Yuk ..Don't even go there
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