Gis a Job!
Apr 4th 2008, 2:45 pm
#1
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 5,786
Gis a Job!
This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries
Apr 4th 2008, 2:46 pm
#2
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 18,187
Re: Gis a Job!
i would love that to be true...but he sounds a bit too articulte for a maccy d's person...
MM, xx
MM, xx
Apr 4th 2008, 3:19 pm
#7
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2008
Location: London
Posts: 37
Re: Gis a Job!
How do these urban myths start?
Still funny though.
Still funny though.
Apr 4th 2008, 5:08 pm
#8
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 3,028
Re: Gis a Job!
How VERY dare you, sir....Ill have you know that what I wrote was a joke, a gag, as you will, and I am convinced that MM DOES possess a degree and, within the week, will have confirmed said and posted on Snopes.com......
How VERY dare you..........
Apr 4th 2008, 11:36 pm
#9
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 68,280
Re: Gis a Job!
is correct
http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/mcdonald.asp
And here is the 1997 original
http://www.bulmash.com/04-10-97.html
Last edited by Ray; Apr 4th 2008 at 11:44 pm.
Apr 5th 2008, 3:21 am
#10
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 18,187
Re: Gis a Job!
The blonde with big ....
is correct
http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/mcdonald.asp
And here is the 1997 original
http://www.bulmash.com/04-10-97.html
is correct
http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/mcdonald.asp
And here is the 1997 original
http://www.bulmash.com/04-10-97.html
MM, xx
Apr 5th 2008, 9:55 am
#12
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,343
Re: Gis a Job!
Also, I don't think an American would say the best thing since sliced bread!
