In elevator this morning. Lands on ground floor, doors open and immediately a short Filipino barges in before I can get out (within a second of the doors opening, just like a NYC cab horn blaring within a second of the light turning green). He literally pushes past me.

I did the needful. Pulled myself up as much as a 6'2 man can and loomed over the short 5'4 Filipino and gave him a full piece of my mind. Well, didn't quite go so far as to call him names aloud but the implication was there in the tone, and gave him a properly patronising lecture. Good deed for the day accomplished.

So what's your good deed of the day so far?

I lent our neighbour our beer fridge.

I generally try to give as many short arsed foreigners as possible a proper bollocking on a daily basis. They don't even have to do anything particularly wrong, just somehow inconvenience me or have the potential to inconvenience me.

**** 'em

Try using the lift next time.

Very funny.

Not all heros wear capes.

Ah. I see.

Just delivered another strong bollocking to the chai walla for pouring hot tea into a china cup without putting the milk in first. I tried to change it up by going from patronising to sneering towards the finale.
If he understood any of it I think I will have to employ a tea tester for a week or so.

Perhaps I should further explain that the Filipino barraged into the elevator so quickly that he pushed me. I was bumped aside.

Got it?

People (particularly of certain nationalities) barging into lifts or metro carriages before letting passengers get off first is a common enough theme in the GCC and has come up with frequency on this board. An instruction in some common sense on public courtesy goes a long way.

So, did he fix you a better cuppa next time?

Not only has he improved on the tea serving procedure, he has also taken it one step further by adopting an air of superiority and berating the other chai wallas for their uncouth tea pouring ways.

Piss off.

Second good deed for the day done.

The gardener - well, the bloke who randomly sprays the hose around the garden some of the days he is supposed to - left his bike parked in my garden this morning. Cue a strongly worded note left in the basket complete with a patronising cartoon of a "bicycle" with an X through it (he's probably a PhD).

That reminds me of the time myself and the young cleaning lady ended up in an embrace one morning, and caught up in the throes of passion she cast her drawers haphazardly across the freshly polished marble.

Needless to say I severely castigated her for this act of over familiarity shortly afterwards.

You have to ask yourself, how do these people sleep at nights?

Probably very well... with their 7 room mates all farting away.

I was more worried about DXBDOH's feelings in all of this, the physical pain from the bumping will heal, but the mental scars will last a lifetime. These scumbags don't appreciate this.