Being an Expat
 

Hey bored,

What have you learnt about yourself moving and living abroad? Do you think its made you a better or worse person and do you think you'll ever go home to blighty? Also have your life plans (if you had one) changed since being here?

Kitty
xxx

Re: Being an Expat
 

will have a think about that and get back to you :)

Re: Being an Expat
 

Hmmm, I have learnt that I am interested in other cultures...and ,at first seem to adapt to them well. After some time living with them, I became fed up and biased...turned into somewhat of a racist.
Then after another while I became angry and just wanted "out".
That's when I understood that the only thing I can actually change is me, and to become happy and content I had to make a concerted effort to actually control what I think and not let the negative (or what I perceive as negative) intrude. Basically you have to be happy to be happy.weird but true.
So I think living abroad with all its trials and tribulations has, by now, made me into a stronger (better? ) person.
My life plans? Well, yes, they have somewhat changed, I now have a vague idea where I actually Want to live.

I am not British, so blighty is not an option, but I am not planning to live in my home country again.

Re: Being an Expat
 

ace post... where is home for you though?

becoming an expat has simply done one thing for me... made me less certain of my future and what I want to do with (and get from) my life

Re: Being an Expat
 

that I'm not the tree hugging lefty liberal idealist I thought i was and can be as racist as the next man when confronted by an Egyptian who uses too many Zs and has pointy shoes

and that newcastle suporters are twats the world over

but that 99% of people no matter their nationality or religion are absolutely sound

Re: Being an Expat
 

canny game last week eh?

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Slight contradiction there, I find 99% of geordies ok as well :p

Re: Being an Expat
 

Both my expat stints have helped me understand and define who I am. I think expanding your horizons should be mandatory for everyone - or rather, I don't think anyone should be allowed an opinion about something unless they have experienced it.

They've helped me work out what my priorities in life are, what I'm willing (or not) to tolerate, who I have time for and an awareness about how different cultures operate.

Being here has also made me realise how lucky I am and has taught me to appreciate what I may have taken for granted in the past... and for that, I'm grateful.

Saying that, the flip-side of the coin is that it's also hardened me up, having opened my eyes to hitherto unthought-of levels of greed, arrogance and general taking the mickey. Give people the benefit of the doubt? Orly?! o_O

Yeah, I'll go back to the UK... and gladly, when my time comes. I value the ability to truly settle more than I'd care to admit, but that again is a side-effect of being an unwilling expat at a young age.

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Will not be going back to UK. Left 30 years ago and every visit since has affirmed that it is not the country for me.... I do not recognize or relate to anything and feel like an outsider. Left with a thirst for adventure and still drinking.

Re: Being an Expat
 

well i wont be returning to blighty, but to the republic next door.

I have spent a few years prior to the middle east knocking about in europe, australia, the US and travelling about in asia and south america and til now that didnt reveal much to me about myself, i suppose the cultures were reasonably similar in attitude.
really the middle east is the first total change for me, and i found it very easy to get sucked into the racial generalisations here. or much quicker to judge the person on his nationality before knowing the individual.
but i have adjusted a lot not to care anymore, my expectation of production or quality is low now so if i get anything else its a bonus.
its a different way of life and getting worked up about it wont overturn thousands of years of this culture...so i don't :thumbup:

i am glad i have experienced life here, it has opened my eyes to a lot of the worlds inequalities and tier system (and will continue to do so) but it mostly confirms that my stay here will be short term.

Re: Being an Expat
 

I learnt how important people are, in everything.

How important including exercise in a daily routine is. (And how difficult it is to do this in the sandpit, annoyingly - I guess if I moved to the Palm I could swim to work, but that's about it.)

How going out and finding new hobbies is neither as easy nor as fun as it sounds. And that not being able to enjoy old ones is nasty.

How I don't need an anchor, and could live if I had to flee the Middle East with an hour's notice - but how wrenching that would be for other people.

How I actually am a really tight b*****d - and that my wife appreciates it. Except when it comes to bags and shoes.

How myopic discussions within the UK about the state of the nation are.

Re: Being an Expat
 

no difference. Life is the same. "expat" is a wierd tag that people overuse..

Re: Being an Expat
 

having given this due thought I have come to the conclusion that I am not a real expat :p

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same here, no maid, porsche, attitude towards indians, etc.

Can someone (without simply Cutting and pasting from a dictionary) the defination of 'expat'

Re: Being an Expat
 

I guess it is someone who has left their home country? that is different to domicile, I heard some bint talking about that on the radio :)

Re: Being an Expat
 

Surely, in the most literal terms, it simply refers to someone who lives somewhere other than their home country?

And you really think your life in the UAE is just the same as it was in some small town in Scotland? No different at all? If so, that's actually a little sad.

Re: Being an Expat
 

i left 'some small town in Scotland' (how pathetic and typical of ****in londoners) when i was 16. Ive been living in the UAE for 6 years. I wouldnt count the interim as being an expat

So its not sad..

Did i say i thought my life was the same? no i didnt...

Re: Being an Expat
 

Interesting question and not so easy to answer. I don't think I ever had deep roots in the UK, as I moved around a great deal as a child and spent years in the Far East. Leaving the UK was easy and there are few things I ever miss. We're 99% sure we won't go back and living abroad for many years gives you a different outlook that people who have never travelled cannot share. I tend to find many Brits to be very narrow-minded with really no clue about what goes on in the rest of the world.

I hope I am a better person that I used to be, although there are times I find myself being very cynical indeed, although perhaps that's what Dubai does to you?

Re: Being an Expat
 

Well I didn't miss your aggression. I wasn't being patronising. In an early post you stated 'no difference'. So, yes you did say that.

And I am not a Londoner. I just worked in Central London for many years.

:rolleyes:

Re: Being an Expat
 

and i didnt miss your patronising posting style..

you were inferring something with your 'small town in Scotland' jibe.

i know you were a forces child, and having seen plenty of them, it was a major factor in me leaving the forces

its great to be back:D

Re: Being an Expat
 

[QUOTE=Meow;8965295]Interesting question and not so easy to answer. I don't think I ever had deep roots in the UK, as I moved around a great deal as a child and spent years in the Far East. Leaving the UK was easy and there are few things I ever miss. We're 99% sure we won't go back and living abroad for many years gives you a different outlook that people who have never travelled cannot share. I tend to find many Brits to be very narrow-minded with really no clue about what goes on in the rest of the world.

I hope I am a better person that I used to be, although there are times I find myself being very cynical indeed, although perhaps that's what Dubai does to you?[/QUOTE]

I agree and raising Mitten here has definately been better than raising her in South Shields contrary to what my family think :rolleyes:

(went to Etisishit today and they were shut! )

Re: Being an Expat
 

As I said I wasn't being patronising. Most people come from small towns.

Anyway, do carry one being rude. And you wonder why people stop posting on this forum?

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I like these posts.

What I've learnt from this thread is that you aren't the shallow self-obsessed assholes I thought you were.


That counts for something right?

Re: Being an Expat
 

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

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:lol:
I nearly spat my coffee out. Ha !

Re: Being an Expat
 

Weasal- you're irish? love the irish! are you hot?;)

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Wasn't being rude. And I'm sure this is not the reason behind the demise of this forum.

I really think that all the questions have been asked to death

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Hmm.

Being an expat allows me to be racist, sexist, chauvinistic, materialistic, greedy, rude, narrow-minded, oblivious and obnoxious....and get away with it.

On the flip side, it makes one wonder no matter how well bred or "indoctrined" people might be back home, what really lies hidden in private thoughts?

Being an expat has made me much more appreciative of home, warts and all, and of the basic fundamentals of everyday life that we take for granted. But it's also allowed me to look at home with a more critical eye. In some aspects I grew up a permanent expat, shuffling back and forth between the US and UK, a foot in both countries and not wholly of one or the other. Things I never tolerated in the UK such as bad service I owe to my American experiences. But life in the UAE is different. As a student of history living here is brings me fairly close to what life must have been like in Victorian Britain, when the class system was much stronger and huge economic disparities not only existed but was thoroughly tolerated. So far it's been an interesting experience and one I'm glad to have had - it does broaden the mind in ways that is not possible in Britain or in exceedingly insular USA.

Re: Being an Expat
 

you're back! how is the penis keeping up with the constant abuse?

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Have you read some of his posts? And stop being racist, please. The Irish are no better and no worse than the Welsh, the Scottish or even (God forbid) the English.

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yes 100% irish. oh i am just a typical irish guy tall dark handsome, with a certain elan and dash but i can offer women nothing except an empty life of danger and excitement. :blink: especially in sana'a

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ah bitterness my favourite emotion (in others :lol:) my posts are small triumphs of poetic colourful and lyrical english in a barren monotone forum. :rolleyes:

Re: Being an Expat
 

You are in the 'potential drinking partner' section of my book.

Re: Being an Expat
 

well if you ever make it to Sana'a, you are welcome to the grand tour :thumbup: ...bring your drinking boots

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no i still am, just with occasional moments of clarity or lucidity when something penetrates into my cocooned world :)

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I would have to disagree with that. The Irish are much better, and we're pretty much all hot. Especially the ones with red hair.

Think about it, St Patrick's Day is celebrated all over the world but even most English couldn't tell you when St Georges Day is? For one day a year at least, a huge proportion of the global population want to be Irish really. (OK, OK, maybe it's just for the Guinness).

Re: Being an Expat
 

Lionheart- Is it being racist to say you love a race? The irish ARE hot- had a beau there who was always fun to be around! hmm come to think of it I need a job in Dublin for a while! The French are hot too, and the Scottish, and the Austrian, oh bugger- Ok all men are hot! (even the welsh!)

Re: Being an Expat
 

Sorry for joining so late, but to share 1 of the pinnacles of my expat living. I am way too happy not having to be surrounded by ignorance of my 'own' people, I can tolerate others being ignorant alot better. Though not sure how long you guys have been 'expats', as I have pretty much been one my entire life..I find my own people highly arrogant when I tell them I live where they come on holiday. I've also learnt that alot of people do become racist..well...I call them culturalists..cause thats where the problem lies, not the race, thats just an assumption.

**** moving 'home', got nothing there..making my way elsewhere.

Re: Being an Expat
 

This has made me really think ...

Being an armed forces brat who moved around at least every two years, three postings being overseas before I was 17 yrs old, and having spent my secondary education years in boarding school in the UK while parents continued their semi-nomadic life, I didn't really feel like I came from anywhere in particular. Although I knew I was British but never had an affinity with anyplace in particular in the UK.

Then started work in London, got married, settled in the South East and lived in the same village for about 26 years and thought that was it, I'd be there for the rest of my life. We've no children and when circumstances meant that we'd be able to move to Dubai we thought, why not? So we did and have loved it (for the most part). Was worried that I'd find it hard to leave my UK home of so many years but, once the packers had cleared the place out I realised that it was a lovely building where we'd had many, many happy years but our home was in the container which contained the precious things we brought to Dubai with us. We've only been back once in five years (family/friends have been more than happy to stay with us here funnily enough) and we both agreed that we felt a kind of disconnection - as though we didn't belong in the UK any more. Can't explain it any better than that.

Now we're getting ready to move on again, this time to Muscat sometime next year. We'll see how it suits us as to how long we'll stay there. Maybe until we pop our clogs, who knows? If we find that Muscat doesn't suit us we'll think about moving somewhere else (no idea where) but neither of us thinks that we'll ever live in the UK again.

Yes, we're lucky that we don't have children and can afford to be selfish with our decisions. We see it as the silver lining to what may once have been a dark cloud.

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I really didn't learn anything about myself. I think I became someone different in certain situations when I lived in the UAE, sometimes turning a blind eye to things that just wouldn't be tolerated in my home country. We were never in it for the long haul, two years was our time we set and we stuck to it. The UAE is not the type of place that we'd like to settle long term. We plan to do more stints of a year or two at a time in other countries. I enjoy soaking up the culture and hanging out with local people when I go to another country, but the UAE is not the kind of place that you really do that. Most of my friends were fellow Aussie and South African expats. My life was not that different from being at home. I didn't have a maid, not even part time, was still mum's taxi and didn't do the party scene. My kids were fortunate enough to have some great memories with locals, going indoor shooting and a sheikh's palace and to local farms and that kind of thing with friends and that's the main reason we went. We had an opportunity to go live somewhere else for a while and we took it, but Australia is a great place and it's always where we'll end up no matter where we go.