Blue Cat

have you tried DHL'ing stuff to her? surely she wouldn't turn that away? do you have contact with any of her family? the ex I mean?

Charismatic

Firefly mobile with your number plugged in?...For safety like, responsible parenting and such . They do one in pink as well...just because I know you'll want one as well .

Anyway, buy her a car at 18 and you'll be the stuff of legend mate .

Blue Cat

we tried the mobile phone tack with DH's son when he was about 10, he still never contacted us though.

MataHari

if she goes through all that trouble (changing phone nos etc) surely she won't think twice to accept something whether it came by DHL or not...
I reckon in these cases there is just not much more you can do then hope for the best when the girl gets older...which must be a hard thing to do.
Involving other family members can be tricky cause there is the question of loyalty towards the mother to consider and in the end the child might suffer because of that as well...

commander

The only people i was in touch with was my ex's mother. She moved house and promised me she would keep the same number..3 months later...beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeep

my mum is sending the letters that have been returned by normal mail. try try again as Rabbie Burns once said...

Charismatic

But you probably which high school she is zoned for in a few years? You know where she lives and the number of a local taxi company .

Had a google of her name recently? It's very difficult to live a normal life now without your name plastered on the internet somewhere, some even choose to do it through myface/bebo/MSN profiles and related websites .

Bambi in Abu Dhabi

Commander, that is so, so sad - I really feel for you. Children (particularly girls) grow up very fast these days, I am sure it won't be long before she is asking questions and asking to see you.

It would be interesting to hear if anybody has experience of dealing with Family Law issues in the UK, from here?

Blue Cat

that's a very valid point, Commander I bet she is on facebook in a couple of years time!

commander

i know exactly where she lives, what school she attends etc etc. My concern is that for a little girl it would be very traumatising maybe for her dad just to turn up out of the blue. This is what happened when i went home last time, she was all coy and shy which is understandable, and like a nugget i just held her hand, stuttered a few words and started to mumble, trying soo hard to keep it together. All the time with mum standing behind her arms folded looking at me like i am the son of satan. And then having a go at me for 'just turning up'. What the hell am i meant to do??

it was the hardest few minutes of my life without doubt. Sometimes i do wish i was one of those bastard parents (mums and dads) that dont give a shit..

Blue Cat

yeah well you are a good person and all of this is down to your evil nasty piece of work ex. We had a tough time with the ex when we first got together, she stopped Atilla having the kids etc. Thank God it settle down and things are fine now, though there really isn't much contact. But the kids are happy with it so I guess we should be too.

Grace O Malley

Prob a silly quesiton, and one you might not want to share, but why is she so bitter/angry with you? If that was established/sorted out, maybe you could work it out with her and then get access to your little girl

Blue Cat

I agree with you on this Anna, but 7 years is a long time to try and heal a rift, and I think if I remember rightly Commander has tried in the past but got nowhere. It is so upsetting and I know how much it hurts me that I am not allowed to see my niece and nephew so god knows how he must feel

commander

think: sperm donor, think: served my purpose, think: he's in the navy he'll not give a shit or hang around....get the picture??

she is bitter and angry bacause whilst i accepted splitting up no problems, i did try to set out a regular contact, with overnight access in time etc. she continually let me down with excuses. I had the 'she is saying she doesnt want to see you' at 2.5 year old.

Basically, she from the outset didnt want a father to be around. I wonder now if she is still single?

Blue Cat

does she work? how does she provide for the little one?

commander

she works i think, well she did...

Single mums get looked after on the state no bother..

Jings remember finding a webpage on my PC that my ex had obviously looked at.

It listed all the benefits that single mothers could get...effin parasites..

Now i have sympathies for single mothers en masse, but not for people like her.

anyway, life moves on..