Originally Posted by MissDemeanor

dont be sorry!!

Originally Posted by Blue Cat

ok I couldn't give a shit I think I just figured out why you are going to AD

Originally Posted by Eva

Squirty, for the sake of discussion and in no way representative of my thoughts on the matter:

For one party to 'behave with respect' and advise their partner that they are leaving the relationship because they have fallen in love with someone else; do you not think mutual respect and respect in regard to the code of the marriage has been cladestinely undermined prior to moving out date?

Originally Posted by MissDemeanor

Me and SF broke up months ago...and yes.He does know!

Originally Posted by Spugsy

I don't understand, I thought Karlos was gay?

Originally Posted by MissDemeanor

He is...im trying to get him to swap sides.

Originally Posted by Spugsy

I hear he has a thing for small, furry, yappy dogs?

You better watch out...

Originally Posted by MissDemeanor

Gucci has made it clear to him she wants nothing to do with him.

Originally Posted by Spugsy

I was talking about you...

Originally Posted by Karlos The Jackal

Gucci loves me !

I told you to keep this quiet MD

I have now inherited about six hundred pairs of heels (too small for me !) and about half a million DVD girly films but no porn !!!!

Wheres the pub?

Originally Posted by Spugsy

oh man, you're in trouble now fella.....it'll be dirty dancing and shopping for you on a friday neet now kidda!

Originally Posted by Karlos The Jackal

Dirty stomping I can handle..................shopping never !

Originally Posted by Spugsy

just in time for christmas as well eh Karlos?

Originally Posted by Squirty Cream

Very difficult Eva, and I do see what you are saying. Wouldn't acting with respect involve realising that things have to be resolved quickly because by continuing to have an affair throughout a marriage isn't respectful.My point exactly Squirty.
Imho,many marriages are ended after the affair is commenced ergo the respect cast aside.

Isn't acting with respect being accountable for your actions, accepting blame and taking appropriate action to resolve things in the best way possible?

[COLOR="Blue"]Could be however do you mean respect to oneself or the partner you are leaving(hypothesis of course)? Circumstances I feel would dictate.......i.e. the resigned wife of a serial adulterer who chanced upon happiness may wish to find a satisfactory resolution to the demise of the original relationship including taking the blame for the death knell.However she may well feel, like her soon to be former spouse that respect-dispensed with longtimes over the adulterous period is now superflous and outta place.

Behaving with as much respect for everyone involved when something is wrong? Very difficult when emotions are part of the equation.

Agree- emotions throw everything into the air.
Do you not think the aggreived party would react angrily and without respect?
It would be nice to imagine all these scenarios be concluded with respect and curtesy but imho- the typical reaction is heartache followed by revenge.(Observations on friends and relatives going thru this) My own personal experience of recently trying to retreat from a relationship which had -to all intents and purposes become just a habit -was very unhappy.Even though no-one else was involved, the fact that I wanted to leave was met with hostility,anger and little respect.

Here's a scenario - couple married for many years, grow apart due to day to day life, work commitments, etc. Wife keeps mentioning that they are growing apart, husband brushes it off and blames it on pressure.

He then meets someone else and an affair ensues, finally he moves out after being argumentative at home probably through some guilt issues. States that he doesn't have anyone else. Wife is relieved but sad and is determined to act with dignity and accepts what he says - that the love has changed to something other than being lovers and partners,etc.

Most often the case .....men won't leave what they are used to unless they have somewhere/someone else to go to.


It's how the whole thing's wrapped up too, in the divorce courts, etc where respect becomes vital.

The No Fault Divorce concept is certainly a help but I just don't get why the optimum outcome of a failed marriage has to be decided by a stranger in a curly wig.Another discussion.

Or how about if the husband and wife have lived apart due to work commitments and the love has died and there are other issues, but the expectations are still there and then one of them meets someone and realises that there is a chance to be really happy. Would acting with respect be to end the marriage as soon as possible? I don't know - I suppose it depends upon which side you are on.

Yes I think in that situ the most honourable thing to do is intimate the wish to end the relationship.I still think however there will be anger, hurt and initially loss of respect.
I have a friend going through divorce at the moment and it's painful, acrimonious and has probably destroyed any good memories and affected the kids and their memories of their parents - sad to watch, difficult to help and draining and miserable for both parties.

May be acting with respect means that when all the dust has settled, that some form of cordiality or even friendship can exist.


[COLOR="Blue"]I think only when the marriage has been put asunder that the contributing parties may have a chance of cordiality.When the one party who didn't want the relationship to end realizes that it is legally dissolved and cannot continue to be in denial about the demise then p'haps the hurt and anger might give way....

We can PM this if you want?