aratan

One of my biggest fears about moving back to the UK after being abroad for so long (20 years) is getting to that moment when I am going to realize that I am never going back to my overseas home.

For the past dozen years or so, I make the trip back to the UK twice a year, to check on my aged parent. Without going into too many details, these are generally not "holidays", but are usually very stressful weeks - last week I spent an entire week getting the aged parent into hospital and dealing with a ton of issues he should have dealt with himself.

One of the main things that gets me through such times is the thought that I will, at the end of it, be going back to my overseas location.

Increasingly, it looks like I will be moving back to the UK within the next couple of years. One of the things I dread is the moment when, having permanently returned to the UK, I realize I will never be returning to this particular part of the world.

Did other folk returning to the UK have these moments? Let me know your thoughts!

aries

Yes I've had these thoughts after living away for a very long time and having many trips back. I've even cut short my long holidays and returned to Adelaide the day after I made my decision to abort.

After more than 3 years back in the UK I still feel that I can phone an airline and make use of a return ticket, except of course that there's no return ticket!! It is an awful feeling.

J.JsOH

My commitment to return to UK was in part a self promise to my wife who never did fully commit to permanent residence in US.
It did take some getting used to the acceptance of never going back there to live, I much more liked my house and space around it than I do here.
That bridge is well and truly burned now by renouncing USC and so nothing to it but to get on with making the most of what I have here. Still feels that I lost / gave up something that was worthwhile but hey ho, onwards and upwards.

MartynK

Not really, but I understand what you mean.

We lived in Hong Kong for a bit, then moved to South Africa in 1980. My wife returned to the UK in 2006, for personal reasons, but I stayed in SA. I've visited quite often, and thought about moving back, but couldn't face it. The visits are bad enough, my heart sinks when I get on the plane, and I can't wait to get home again.

Upside is that my wife now wants to come home, so no more trips to the UK!

Amaike

This is a genuine dread and one you are right to consider. I lived abroad for 20 years (mostly in the UK actually) and always knew returning "home" would be tough. I resisted it for quite a few years, and was always happy at the end of each visit to get back to my overseas home.

Then last year I grasped the nettle and went to my original "home". While the quality of life is quite good, I hated being back with no return ticket, and as the months have gone on my feelings haven't abated. For various personal reasons I am not in a position to leave, but right now the only thing keeping me going is that one day I will return to live in my overseas home. I did a lot of research about repatriation and knew it would be hard, but was not prepared for just what a sense of loss there would be, and how all my plans to "stay connected" with Skype, internet etc didn't really help. There is something very final about repatriation, and my advice would be not to do it unless you really want to for your own right reasons (not someone else's).

Finally, if you think you might have misgivings on arrival, take legal advice for your situation and make sure that if you want to, you can get out again. It may be that your destiny is to stay in your overseas location for good. Hope this is helpful.

Shard

Interesting topic. I would say "not yet" as in theory I can live in either country (UK/Canada). However, whichever country I am in, I do feel a gradual loss of connection and "know-how" in the opposite one. They are not quite mutually exclusive, but there is something of that in terms of mindset. For example, the 'European mindset' does not match the 'North American mindset' and vice versa.