Too soon to make a call?
Jan 9th 2022 | 8:24 pm
#1
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Too soon to make a call?
Is 8 months away too soon to say we’re not going to settle and it’s time to think about going back? My partner and I lived in NZ for 11 and 14 years respectively, met there, married there and now have 2 little kiwi’s. We moved to England in April 2021 for a variety of reasons which at the time felt unresolvable in NZ. Now we’re in England my daughter isn’t settling and cries about what we have left behind most days and the realities of UK life have really hit home. My partner never really wanted to move but agreed it was something we needed to try at the time. The culture has changed, we have changed, so much that it doesn’t feel right at all. Like most people here you’ll know the financial implications of making the move, so deciding to go back now would be a double whammy, but not sure what the value of wanting any longer is going to be? It was months possibly years, of quandary before one thing tipped the balance and made us decide to move here, but a matter of weeks before the sense of foreboding started. Aaaah what to do?!
Jan 10th 2022 | 4:21 pm
#2
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Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 967
From: France
Re: Too soon to make a call?
Could you spell out your specific concerns? Just in case there are less drastic solutions we could suggest that you haven’t thought of.
Hearing about your experience could also be helpful for others contemplating moving back to the UK.
Hearing about your experience could also be helpful for others contemplating moving back to the UK.
Jan 10th 2022 | 8:45 pm
#3
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 4,393
From: England
Re: Too soon to make a call?
Is 8 months away too soon to say we’re not going to settle and it’s time to think about going back? My partner and I lived in NZ for 11 and 14 years respectively, met there, married there and now have 2 little kiwi’s. We moved to England in April 2021 for a variety of reasons which at the time felt unresolvable in NZ. Now we’re in England my daughter isn’t settling and cries about what we have left behind most days and the realities of UK life have really hit home. My partner never really wanted to move but agreed it was something we needed to try at the time. The culture has changed, we have changed, so much that it doesn’t feel right at all. Like most people here you’ll know the financial implications of making the move, so deciding to go back now would be a double whammy, but not sure what the value of wanting any longer is going to be? It was months possibly years, of quandary before one thing tipped the balance and made us decide to move here, but a matter of weeks before the sense of foreboding started. Aaaah what to do?!
Last edited by Jerseygirl; Jan 11th 2022 at 7:27 am. Reason: Fixed quote
Jan 10th 2022 | 10:28 pm
#4
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 6,255
Re: Too soon to make a call?
Is 8 months away too soon to say we’re not going to settle and it’s time to think about going back? My partner and I lived in NZ for 11 and 14 years respectively, met there, married there and now have 2 little kiwi’s. We moved to England in April 2021 for a variety of reasons which at the time felt unresolvable in NZ. Now we’re in England my daughter isn’t settling and cries about what we have left behind most days and the realities of UK life have really hit home. My partner never really wanted to move but agreed it was something we needed to try at the time. The culture has changed, we have changed, so much that it doesn’t feel right at all. Like most people here you’ll know the financial implications of making the move, so deciding to go back now would be a double whammy, but not sure what the value of wanting any longer is going to be? It was months possibly years, of quandary before one thing tipped the balance and made us decide to move here, but a matter of weeks before the sense of foreboding started. Aaaah what to do?!
People who live in Dunedin might also feel that the culture in Auckland is very different and wouldn't judge the whole country. Just saying that you might have picked the wrong location on the island right now and need more time to find a suitable place to settle. Once things open up again, you might have a lot more on your doorstep. I'm on the island further West from you and if I compare Dublin to where we live (200km away), it's like a different planet
. At the end of the day you can also create your own lifestyle and culture. Just because all my neighbors like hurling doesn't mean I have to like it and I can still do my own thing.
Jan 11th 2022 | 1:05 am
#5
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Joined: Jul 2015
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From: Huntsville, AL
Re: Too soon to make a call?
Years ago, I worked with a guy with an almost identical story:
He and his wife (both British) had settled in NZ after several years in the merchant navy. They had spent 10+ years in NZ and had 2 young kids. They decided to move back to the UK for various reasons. After a couple of years, they decided they wanted to move back to NZ. Sold up and moved.
Six months later, I received a phone call from him asking if he could get his old job back. His wife couldn't settle back in NZ and wanted to return again. The whole saga cost them a fortune.
Unless you know you can drop back into your old life in the same neighbourhood and same friends, WITHOUT the baggage that caused you to up sticks in the first place, it's a bad idea. Give the UK at least a couple of years before making such a huge decision.
He and his wife (both British) had settled in NZ after several years in the merchant navy. They had spent 10+ years in NZ and had 2 young kids. They decided to move back to the UK for various reasons. After a couple of years, they decided they wanted to move back to NZ. Sold up and moved.
Six months later, I received a phone call from him asking if he could get his old job back. His wife couldn't settle back in NZ and wanted to return again. The whole saga cost them a fortune.
Unless you know you can drop back into your old life in the same neighbourhood and same friends, WITHOUT the baggage that caused you to up sticks in the first place, it's a bad idea. Give the UK at least a couple of years before making such a huge decision.
Jan 11th 2022 | 7:21 am
#6
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Re: Too soon to make a call?
In England, we have found our families have moved on without us (of course as expected) but we parent in different ways and don’t really get along too well. Culturally there is more crime, less kindness and the workplaces have elements of toxicity that just seems to be expected. I work in the public sector and I am seriously gobsmacked at the culture that has grown there. I am certain Covid has had its impact on all these things, and given the extent of the trauma everyone has been through, I don’t see that it is likely to change any time soon, if all all.
Jan 11th 2022 | 7:27 am
#7
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Re: Too soon to make a call?
[QUOTE=brits1;13087416]
Thank you for this :-) We are in a different area and definitely haven’t reverted to old UK lifestyles and keeping up as much as we can what we know we enjoy from NZ times. We are keeping up the tourist mentality too with trips taken and planned but ultimately when that stops we are in a place that doesn’t hold much appeal for us. That being said, I am going to get my daughter to choose some outings lIke you suggest and see if this helps. We are really positive about being here when she is around but children always sense more than we realise!
Is 8 months away too soon to say we’re not going to settle and it’s time to think about going back? My partner and I lived in NZ for 11 and 14 years respectively, met there, married there and now have 2 little kiwi’s. We moved to England in April 2021 for a variety of reasons which at the time felt unresolvable in NZ. Now we’re in England my daughter isn’t settling and cries about what we have left behind most days and the realities of UK life have really hit home. My partner never really wanted to move but agreed it was something we needed to try at the time. The culture has changed, we have changed, so much that it doesn’t feel right at all. Like most people here you’ll know the financial implications of making the move, so deciding to go back now would be a double whammy, but not sure what the value of wanting any longer is going to be? It was months possibly years, of quandary before one thing tipped the balance and made us decide to move here, but a matter of weeks before the sense of foreboding started. Aaaah what to do?
The Kwisatz Haderach
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 8,080
From: North Wales
Re: Too soon to make a call?
We moved back to UK and only lasted about 10 months, we were renting and so upped sticks and went back to the US.
It still took me a while to re settle there, but I did. Now back in UK and I'm on the fence. If my husband and grown kids said were moving back to US again I wouldn't be heartbroken, but if they want to stay here that's fine too.
It still took me a while to re settle there, but I did. Now back in UK and I'm on the fence. If my husband and grown kids said were moving back to US again I wouldn't be heartbroken, but if they want to stay here that's fine too.
Jul 7th 2023 | 7:50 am
#14
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From: Near Kingston, Ontario
Re: Too soon to make a call?
We moved back to UK and only lasted about 10 months, we were renting and so upped sticks and went back to the US.
It still took me a while to re settle there, but I did. Now back in UK and I'm on the fence. If my husband and grown kids said were moving back to US again I wouldn't be heartbroken, but if they want to stay here that's fine too.
It still took me a while to re settle there, but I did. Now back in UK and I'm on the fence. If my husband and grown kids said were moving back to US again I wouldn't be heartbroken, but if they want to stay here that's fine too.
Hi Mummy Long time no hear!! What makes you "on the fence about the UK" ? I am interested to know!!
