Originally Posted by Can82

Is 8 months away too soon to say we’re not going to settle and it’s time to think about going back? My partner and I lived in NZ for 11 and 14 years respectively, met there, married there and now have 2 little kiwi’s. We moved to England in April 2021 for a variety of reasons which at the time felt unresolvable in NZ. Now we’re in England my daughter isn’t settling and cries about what we have left behind most days and the realities of UK life have really hit home. My partner never really wanted to move but agreed it was something we needed to try at the time. The culture has changed, we have changed, so much that it doesn’t feel right at all. Like most people here you’ll know the financial implications of making the move, so deciding to go back now would be a double whammy, but not sure what the value of wanting any longer is going to be? It was months possibly years, of quandary before one thing tipped the balance and made us decide to move here, but a matter of weeks before the sense of foreboding started. Aaaah what to do?!

Originally Posted by Can82

Is 8 months away too soon to say we’re not going to settle and it’s time to think about going back? My partner and I lived in NZ for 11 and 14 years respectively, met there, married there and now have 2 little kiwi’s. We moved to England in April 2021 for a variety of reasons which at the time felt unresolvable in NZ. Now we’re in England my daughter isn’t settling and cries about what we have left behind most days and the realities of UK life have really hit home. My partner never really wanted to move but agreed it was something we needed to try at the time. The culture has changed, we have changed, so much that it doesn’t feel right at all. Like most people here you’ll know the financial implications of making the move, so deciding to go back now would be a double whammy, but not sure what the value of wanting any longer is going to be? It was months possibly years, of quandary before one thing tipped the balance and made us decide to move here, but a matter of weeks before the sense of foreboding started. Aaaah what to do?!

Originally Posted by Helen1964

Could you spell out your specific concerns? Just in case there are less drastic solutions we could suggest that you haven’t thought of.

Hearing about your experience could also be helpful for others contemplating moving back to the UK.

Originally Posted by Can82

Is 8 months away too soon to say we’re not going to settle and it’s time to think about going back? My partner and I lived in NZ for 11 and 14 years respectively, met there, married there and now have 2 little kiwi’s. We moved to England in April 2021 for a variety of reasons which at the time felt unresolvable in NZ. Now we’re in England my daughter isn’t settling and cries about what we have left behind most days and the realities of UK life have really hit home. My partner never really wanted to move but agreed it was something we needed to try at the time. The culture has changed, we have changed, so much that it doesn’t feel right at all. Like most people here you’ll know the financial implications of making the move, so deciding to go back now would be a double whammy, but not sure what the value of wanting any longer is going to be? It was months possibly years, of quandary before one thing tipped the balance and made us decide to move here, but a matter of weeks before the sense of foreboding started. Aaaah what to do?![/QUOTE

Hi , I think a lot of people who migrate (either way) feel like you did, when we arrived back in the uk we returned to a different county and knew we needed to look forward and not backwards (hard at times I know) we also treated our return home like we did when we first arrived in Aus, we travelled had days out and just lived differently than when we last lived in the UK, you returned in difficult and strange times and hopefully this will change, your daughter may be also feeling your disquiet (not blaming you, children can sense changes in others) Did you buy a home here/return to the same area? Could you plan (as much as you can in this day and age) a holiday/outings and involve your daughter in the choices etc? You left NZ for reasons try and remember them when you feel you may of chosen wrongly. Time does help but sometimes it’s just not the right “fit” good luck

Originally Posted by Moses2013

8 months is not a long time and especially with Covid and Brexit you might not notice the benefits right now. You say the culture has changed and you have changed but even in NZ the culture is not the same.
People who live in Dunedin might also feel that the culture in Auckland is very different and wouldn't judge the whole country. Just saying that you might have picked the wrong location on the island right now and need more time to find a suitable place to settle. Once things open up again, you might have a lot more on your doorstep. I'm on the island further West from you and if I compare Dublin to where we live (200km away), it's like a different planet. At the end of the day you can also create your own lifestyle and culture. Just because all my neighbors like hurling doesn't mean I have to like it and I can still do my own thing.

Originally Posted by Can82

You make a really good point about creating your own culture. It’s probably about working out where we fit now - physically and socially. We were both single and carefree last time we lived here, now we have a whole host of different needs and it may be this spot and community isn’t quite right.