Too scared to live in England.
 

One of my biggest reasons for being unsure about returning to England is personal safety for myself and my family.

We are so up and down, we just can't decide what we want.
One day we are going to try and settle and stay then the next day we are desperate to go back to the UK.

Aug 2005 we arrived in France so excited about our new adventure, hating England and believing everything in the papers, yes we got caught up in all the negative stuff.

Feb/Mar 07 we had our first spell of homesickness and admitted to ourselves and to each other that this didn't have to be forever and that it would be ok to return.

April/May 07 the weather was spring like and we decided that we would be mad to give it all up.

Nov/Dec 07 Christmas is looming, we miss family and want to go home.

Christmas came and went we made the most of it and did have a lovely time, decided again that we should stick it out.

Early January we decide we can't stick it out and want to go home.

Then it all gets too complicated to explain, we change from one day to the next.

My main concern is personal safety for all of us, I feel safe here in deepest rural France and to be honest I am scared to live in England.

Can anyone relate to this feeling, I tell myself that it is irrational fear but it still stands in my way.

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Not sure that its irrational, I would not live in London again, it gets worse everytime I visit and it is certainly no place to bring up children.

When I left England 7 years ago I guess I imagined I would be back at some point but subsequent trips to visit family have changed my mind, theres always a high profile murder or tube bombing or whatever going on, and I'd rather not have to deal with it.

Just my 2c

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Yes, I agree that London and other big cities can be dangerous, however we would be looking at herts, suffolk, norfolk.
In comparison Paris is just as bad as London.

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Ask yourself this. Why would living in deepest rural England be any different to living in deepest rural France? I cant see the difference myself. If you enjoy the isolation of that kind of rural life, it still exists in UK. You just need to look harder i guess.
Strangely enough I feel the total opposite. Living in solitude or a long way from other people makes me feel unsafe. I think its a fear of no help at hand if anything goes wrong

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Why not book a holiday in a cottage in England, any part that takes your fancy, just to get the feeling of being in England again.

You always hear the bad parts of any country - look for good news reports ;)

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Really good suggestion, however, we went back to England for 5 days at the beginning of Jan and we loved it, nothing terrible happened to us and we commented on how friendly and polite the people were.

We also have a trip booked for mid Feb for 5 days and again I'm sure that we will love it there.

My family and friends are all in England and have never experienced any terrible danger.

I just still have that fear.

We are a lost cause I'm sure of it, we just cannot be helped :D

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

I really do not want to be rude, so please do not take this the wrong way! But - you are in France! Just over the water from England! As you have said, you can go back so easily (5 days in Jan and Feb), why on earth are you so worried!! Either, that very short distance is enough that you can visit family easily (as you are) or they can visit you - in about an hour's flight.

And did you really expect hordes of rampaging savages covered in woad when you got off the plane? You only went there in 2005 - not the dark ages.

If I was living somewhere I felt so comfortable, that was hardly any distance from my family and whom I could (clearly) so easily visit, I'd be happy as the proverbial...

As least you're not 12,000 miles from civilisation in a dry dust bowl, surrounded by bloody chicken shops......:frown:

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Draw up a list of 'fors' and 'against' :cool:

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

I appreciate the fact that I am close to England, however my fears and worries are just as valid as anyone else's.

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Of course they are and I wasn't saying anything else.

My point was that you yourself have said you've visited recently and are going again, and all was fine. Also that your friends and family are fine in UK. Therefore, although you may have the fears and worries; they are unfounded by your own admission.

Live in any major city in the world and it may be a different story - however deepest, darkest rural UK will be no different from deepest, darkest rural France. Perhaps those are your main choices?? It's not that you are scared of England itself, it's the uncertainty and upheaval of moving your family again? Just my opinion from what you've said.

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

You may have hit the nail on the head there! Could that be the reason BB? The fear that if you moved back to the UK you may find you have made a mistake and if your life and home in France is good you may not be able to get that back again. I can understand your fears but life is all about taking chances, none of us know what is round the corner.

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Hi BB - still in turmoil I see - you poor thing.

The whole 'safer' issue for me is such a non starter. As others have said - yes rural France is safer than say inner city Manchester and vice versa rural UK with Paris BUT my personal opinion is that you cannot make a decision based on crime statistics anyway- for me the decision was simple - I was unhappy in Australia - I wanted to live back in the UK because I love the UK -end of - no amount of statistics on crime, education etc etc would change that.

There is no 'better' place to live - there's good and bad everywhere - it what's important to you as a family that matters and what makes you happy in life.

Hope you come to a decision soon - I know you've been up and down for so long now.:)

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Good point :)

Yes, we are worried about making a mistake, that is one of the things that myself and my husband have said but we hadn't realised that maybe it is the main thing that is holding us back :thumbsup:

Thank you ;)

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

With all due respect

I can't relate to that feeling for several reasons.

I would be going back from a large Canadian city, with much the same problems as london.

In the last 2 years, out of all my family, friends and, business associates in the UK, not one has mentioned being affected by serious crime. Bear in mind I speak to the UK all day on the phone for business and speak to family and friends almost every day. I also go back to visit 4 times a year.

I grew up in London, lived there all my life it's my home and get sick of people slagging it off all the time. It's a city of 10 million, of course there will be crime, it isn't utopia. For it's size and importance it's incredibly safe.

I realise that the UK media blow everything out of all proportion, the risk of crossing the road is far greater than being killed by a terrorist.

That said, it's a tough decision

Best of luck with it

Jonathan

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

A few years ago a Canadian moved his family to the Falklands, he was so concerned about living near the U.S and a Nuclear Attack, three weeks later the British invaded.

Poop happens.

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

It sounds more like you haven't quite made up your mind yet, rather than the actual fear of living in the UK. Just relax and take each day as it comes until you make your mind up.

With regards to crime and being afraid I wouldn't worry about it. As has been said; read some newspapers that don't sell copies by reporting nothing but rape, robbery and murder.

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

;)

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

The British invaded???? :blink: Please try to get your facts right. :thumbdown:

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

If your scared to live in England I must be completely insane to want to move back to Northern Ireland :eek:. To a lot of people NI sounds like a scary place (although it has improved a lot over recent years) When I was growing up there during "the troubles" I really wasn't effected by all the bad stuff that was going on and it wasn't as if I was from a nice area. Don't let a few bad apples and some peoples negative experiences put you off, if you really feel moving back is the right thing to do.:thumbup:

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Thanks :D

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Some people believe that the Maldives aka the Falklands are actually Argentinian Territory and not an extension of the U.K.

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Sorry, I had to laugh at 'Maldives':rofl:

Islas MALVINAS

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

I always think that if you are unsure about something DON'T DO IT wait until you feel the time is right. Enjoy your time in France and when you are ready to move you will know. Meantime you seem to be thinking more and more about it so the seed is planted, it just has to mature. You are not ready yet.

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

:) Just stop reading the British newspapers and London based TV news.Many other countries do not report crime as precisely as in the UK.

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

I feel much safer walking the streets of London when working down there than I ever did when I lived in Perth at night even Paris seems more threatening at night, please do not be taken in by all the media rubbish, your chances of ever being mugged or robbed are so minimal that your worries are unfounded.

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

BE post of the year so far.

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

But funnily enough none of those people actually lived in the Falkland Islands.

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Hi

Hi we lived in Suffolk and found it a very safe and easy going place to bring up a family. My family never worried about crime or locking everything up all the time. We then spent 8 years in Canada and returned to the UK 2 years ago.
We now live in rural Oxfordshire and it find it a clean, safe and uncrowded place to live. We are planning to move to SE Kent in the next few months.
We feel safe living in the UK and kids seem to be treated well at school.

I had a look at a copy of the Daily Mail and what is written about the UK, gives me the impression that for 31 years of my life I lived in a different country than written in the tabloids.

Just move to the right places in the UK and your family should be ok.

hudd

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Thanks for the reassurance, it was especially interesting because Suffolk is on our list of places to consider.
Possibly round the stowmarket or sudbury areas.

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Bramblebush

I lived in a numbers of areas in the UK including West London, Hampshire, Surrey, Oxfordshire, Essex, Kent and always Suffolk was my wife and I favourite place we have lived.

Enclosed a link about Stowmarket which I would say there some nice villages around this town.

hudd

http://www.upmystreet.com/l/stowmarket.html

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

I have lived in London, Nottinghamshire, Yorkshire, Berkshire, Oxfordshire and now Derbyshire and have never experienced any problems.

I have also brought up two boys into adulthood again with no problems.

Don't fall for the bullshit peddled by Murdoch and the tory press (Daily Mail).....they play up bad news for political purposes....

.....don't forget, the Daily Mail supported Hitler.

G

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Brilliant, thank you :)

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

I will be quoting that one regularly, thanks :thumbsup:

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

I am unfortunate to live in an area where I don't feel safe at all.

Mr PP and I are too scared to cross the bridge at night, we keep our door locked and chained when we are in the flat and avoid the phonebox where the teenagers that are invariably flashing knives, were only little ones when we first moved here.

The place has changed so much in the ten years that we have lived here and those changes have crept up on us really.

The housing association have built lots of new properties, the children that grew up in those properties are now intimidating teens and there is always a police car or two on that estate.

If we were not emigrating in March, we would have moved long ago. Our visa has taken so long we just kept hanging on and staying put.

It is quite alarming when I look back on how things have deteriorated and how some areas are 'no go' so to speak.

However, drive ten or twenty miles in the other direction and you could have gone back in time to some lovely country villages.

There are good and bad places everywhere - you just have to find them and when you find your 'home', you hope that any changes that occur in the area are for the better.

That goes for any country but I reckon I am getting old because I refer to how it was twenty years ago when I really did feel 'safe' and didn't need to take the measures to protect against my personal safety that I do now.

The good old days......:lol:

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

I could not agree more with this comment - I also grew up in London (albeit on the edge of greater London/Surrey) and have so far managed to avoid being murdered or stabbed (along with everyone I know)! I think most crime in Britain is "petty" crime (theft etc. which is a UK-wide issue). London is certainly no San Salvador City in any case! :lol:

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Oh dear it must be awful to live in such fear, where about in the UK are you

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Totally agree with you PP. I live in a village between Manchester and Liverpool. Where we are I feel totally safe - it's a lovely village out in the farming areas, very quite, no crime, no trouble etc. Everyone knows everyone else and a real community feel to the place. There are other places though within a 10 mile radius where I just wouldn't want to live. We felt the same in Oz - there are some places where you feel safe, others where you just don't venture after dark :eek:

To anyone thinking of returning - please don't let the silly tabloid press cloud your judgement. The UK is a country like all others - it has good areas and bad areas. Safe areas and unsafe areas. Many people who judge the "UK" to be bad have lived in one area which was bad for them. I'm sick to death of hearing people who have only ever lived in one place where they don't like talk as if the whole of the UK is like that. They have lived in one crime ridden area so reckon the rest of the country is the same :confused:

Try to keep things in perspective - you are not moving to Beirut, Afghanistan or Iraq although some people would let you think you were. And the chances of you being a victim of crime anywhere are remote.

You simply cannot wrap yourself in cotton wool. Stop worrying, live your life and have fun wherever that may be. There is somewhere perfect in the world for everyone so find your little piece of paradise and enjoy it - life's too short not to :thumbsup:

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Made my day that one :rofl:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Falkland_Islands

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Hey BB

If I were you and could pop backwards and forwards so much, I would be spending a lot of time doing rekkies on areas that I fancied living.Once you find a place you really like then you won't feel so frightened about going back.:thumbup:

Re: Too scared to live in England.
 

Some people may think the country of Argentina belongs to the native indians that inhabited the area untill the desease ridden europeans arrived .:thumbdown: PS .malvinas