Re: Thinking of going home
 

Thanks! Nice to get positive responses rather than the usual ''shut up, Will, stop bashing Australia'' crap I have to tolerate!

People don't care about other people enough to base their responses on YOU. They base their responses on THEMSELVES.

So, when you say, ''I don't like Australia'', if they DO like Australia, they will base their answer on the latter, i.e. their feelings, rather than yours. So they will very likely hint (at least) and perhaps even openly say that they think you are ''wrong'' for preferring the UK.

Secondly, people are fundamentally insecure. And I mean most people. Even though they'd never admit it. So they like THEIR decisions validated by YOUR decisions. Hence, you announcing that Australia is a boring craphole (which, I feel, it is, by the way) makes them feel insecure and faced with that insecurity, they decide to rebuild their confidence by attacking what you think.

Re: Thinking of going home
 

i agree ,i think we are all guilty of the ''I'' thing ,i know i am .lol,
I guess migration and wether its succesful or not is such a personal issue somehow one has to quantify the decision to stay or go .

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Well, if you come here and you really get off on the fact that it's sunny more often where you are in Australia then that is perhaps enough for a lot of people to know that they want to stay.

A lot of people will know that they want to stay because they have a house with an extra living room for the kids to use in Australia, whereas in the UK they just had one living room that kids and adults had to share.

I think these things are sufficient for some people.

Also, some people have hobbies/interests that are benefitted by more warm weather than in the UK.

My hobbies and interests are almost entirely hindered by living in Australia so I do not gain there at all, which probably contributes to my desire to go back to the UK at some stage, if I ever get the opportunity.

Re: Thinking of going home
 

you will get the opportunity ,we are creaters of our oppotunities to a certain degree ,movements in relationships ,growing of children ,difference in earning potential all create an opportunity although growing of children and movements in relationships are beyond our control but the spin off wether good or bad open up a new opportunity .
The secret is to take the best out of a bad situation and run with it .To wonder about what u can gain as opposed to what you may lose .
There are a lot of people in australia from all parts of the world who are not happy here , due mainly to the fact they feel they have traded everything they are for crass materialism .
Shake off a materialistic world ie big houses ,cars and lead a more nomadic lifestyle and the decisions we wrestle with are easy .Become a gypsy is the answer .

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Very true. You come here thinking that you are ''doing what's best for the kids'' (how, exactly?!) and that you will have a ''better standard of living'' in Australia (how, exactly?!). I guess for some they get their bigger house with it's swimming pool in the yard, sit back and go ''I'd never have this in Norwich''. Well, good for them, I guess. That's fine, if a bigger house brings you joy and you do not miss anything about the UK.

What if the bigger house does nothing for you? What if you don't even obtain a bigger house? What if you miss quite a number of aspects of UK life? THEN what have you ACTUALLY gained?! Mmmm, could it be...NOTHING?!!!?!?

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Well said .You articulate well!
I still believe Aussies are slightly brainwashed. re the importance and quality of life in their country. I also believe that some cannot go back for various reasons and these types are the most aggresive when you state that the place is a bit dull and you are going home.
My friend in Australia broke down when we were leaving and told me that after 13 years he could no longer stand the place. Unfortunately he is stuck with an Aussie wife and two kids.
Your analogy is spot on. I found the place culturally way behind the UK

Re: Thinking of going home
 

All true , i guess you cant buy belonging for some of us .:)

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Well i don't think i have gained an awful lot. God i really miss my :(family

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Hi Brits1,

I'm in a similar situation to you. We have 1 son who will turn 16 next Feb. We have been here in Aus for 8 years now. We've never felt fully at home here, although we seem to go through a pattern of feeling ok about Aus for a year or so, but then the feeling of wanting to go back to the UK always returns (it's such a pain as it's a great country but it doesn't make us happy!)

We've been talking of returning for years, but we always chicken out. In the past it's been because we haven't had our own place to sell to be able to use the proceeds to get back on our feet, also combined with worrying frantically about our son not getting into a good UK high school or perhaps not being accepted in high school when everyone has already got their own groups of friends (particularly as our son is a bit shy). The feeling of isolation & homesickness has returned again (it seems to get worse & more intense - not better), but we now have our own house to sell so we are in a better position. Our son won't finish his year 12 until Dec 2012, so 3 years from now & we have decided to let him finish his high school education here as it is no way ideal to move him back at 15. Once he finishes school at 18 (almost 19 actually) we will likely sell the house and head back to the UK. I have read about the 3 year home student rule and given that he will spend 2 years sitting A levels over there (not sure how much we will have to pay for the A-levels on international student basis), he can then either take a gap year or worst case we will pay international fees for the first year of any uni course he does (I think that's how it will work?)

Our son has not maintained connections with his UK school friends as he was only 7 when we came out and has no desire to return to the UK. He also admits that he isn't 100% happy in Aus, but that could be related to the fact that his parents aren't happy here. He says he will come back with us when he's 18 & I hope he wont change his mind in the next 3 years. I had a chat with him and said that if he wants to move back to Aus down the track that I would be very sad, but that I would understand totally and would help him as much as possible if that's what he wants.

I was curious how your sons feel about Aus & also the move back. Have they maintained good friendships in the UK? Are you returning back to the same place you lived originally? We have decided not to move back to the North West where we are from but instead are looking at York, as i have heard it is a good place to live & study (York or Leeds uni).

By the time we move back we will have been here 11 years and will have an 18 year old, so a very similar story to yours. I just dont wanna regret not trying the UK again and sitting in Aus when I'm 60 feeling the same as I feel now.

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Been thru all of that and believe me when you know you know . I went thru all the analyzing and the worry ,but when it gets clear there is only one way and thats to the uk regardless of consequencies . Good luck on your decision its took me years to get to sucha state of clear mind .

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Thanks for your post King Kong. Are you back in the UK now? Do you have kids?

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Big hug for you,its not a nice feeling,I'm in the Uk and most of my folks are in Adelaide,I really miss some of them too!I don't think it helps either just being on the phone ect to people.I like to see people face to face!

Re: Thinking of going home
 

not as yet but house sold , house junk thrown in bin ,sold car , winding down work . Have two lads both grown ,one here in aussie and never see him he has a life and the other in belgium for the last 3 years and despises perth for being expensive ,materialistic and a cultural wasteland .
So its easy for me to make the decision , indecision certainly over the last 10 or so years contributed to my marriage breakdown too ,so i have empathy for the people in no mans land .Just try not take it to limit where your whole life collapses like mine did and all you have as friends is a load of business aquantances like i did .
I need to get back amongst my own people whingers or not ,but i have given 20 years of my life to australia its time for a change the attachment to the soil just isnt there never has been ,it was all just about getting ahead and making sure the kids do well .It was about money ,all wrong i reckon now but thats my opinion and is sure in the minority inregarsd to migrants to australia or elsewhere .
But i will reapeat and cant enforce the fact enough that ''you know when you know '' , ''time is up '' ,''been there done that '' . Its now my time ,maybe yours sooner or later .

Re: Thinking of going home
 

You sound totally ready to leave King Kong. It's sad to hear that you're marriage failed along the way. To be honest, throughout the last 8 years my hubby and I have maintained a close relationship, which we still have BUT I must admit I have noticed that we are both getting down in the dumps about feeling trapped in Aus. This seems to have a big impact on our lives as a whole and I can feel that although it's only slight, it is beginning to affect our marriage in small ways.

I wish you all the best for your impending move - 20 years is a long time and I can imagine it's gone quickly in some ways. We often remark to each other how scary it is that we have been here for 8 mediocre years & that if we don't act soon it'll soon be 15 or 20 mediocre years! :(

Re: Thinking of going home
 

yes ,mediocre sums up my life and what was our lives when the ex was around ,sure there have been good times and good experiences and none i would have wanted to miss but all i could have done with a huge holiday here maybe .
I lived in poole in dorset before coming to australia and have never found anywhere better ,sure some of the beaches here are great ,the red dirt and diesel lifestyle of the north west got into my veins for awhile but the green rolling fields and pubs and country walks and i would say friendlier people in the uk were never far from my mind .
It is a shame its cost me my marriage but in most ways thats a blessing too ,been a hard road though .No country is worth a long term marriage in my opinion .
I would think hard on the ''mediocre '' issue ,what are you going to be like in 20-30 years and stuck in some bland retirement village or worse still in a nursing home .Thats coming to all of us wherever we are but its between now and then we should be enjoying and not wondering wether we will live 2 years longer in australia because its warmer ,i want to drop off the perch happy not thinkin ''shit '' i should have got on my bike in 2009 and gone and seen something .