Thinking of going home
 

As the title says we are thinking of returning to the UK but at the same time cant help thinking that we havent given it long enough, we have been in Adelaide for nearly 18 months and to be honest we are both bored, first 12 months we were busy sorting out house, jobs, friends etc but this last few months have really got to me and hubby, but at the same time cant help thinking that if we return would be regret it.

Anyone else gone through this and returned and not regretted it or returned and knew that they had made the wrong choice.

Its dosnt help that I have 2 children still in the UK my 18 year old daughter is over with us and she is the same as us doesnt love it but doesnt hate it either.

I need a crystal ball

Re: Thinking of going home
 

It depends how bored you are. Planning a move, then having to organise everything is hard work, exciting and time consuming, so when the day to day routine takes over it can feel very boring. Do you think that, when the novelty of moving home again has worn off that you would be bored there? Or did you do more together and at weekends than you do here? Did you enjoy your free time more there than here? Why do you think it would be a mistake to go?
Everyone is different and you will get lots of different opinions, but only you know what motivates you. Is it possible to go to the uk for a holiday - that seems to work for some people; they either decide that they definitely want to be back there, or that they definitely don't!
It's a tough decision - good luck!

Re: Thinking of going home
 

How long till you can apply for citizenship, perhaps it might be worth waiting to get that sorted then at least you will ge an aussie passport and be able to come back freely later on if you like.

Re: Thinking of going home
 

I know this might sound obvious but maybe you could do with some suggestions on what to do in Adelaide/SA?Car museum in Birdwood is worth a look,day trip to Kangaroo island,a couple of days in Robe,Moonta,Adelaide museum is good as is the art gallery,Tandanya aboriginal centre,a day in Hahndorf.Maybe head for the tourist ofice and get some more suggestions.Good luck and I hope you find something to do!;)

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Maybe try going on a holiday to see other parts of OZ, Melboure, Brisnbane the Gold coast, if other places in OZ don't seem any better then Adleaide then go back.

Re: Thinking of going home
 

There is nothing magical about being here so if it doesnt "fit" you then there is nothing that says it has to. I reckon if you had it good in UK and had plenty to occupy your time then cut your losses and head off - did you squeak in under the July 07 arrival for citizenship purposes or are you destined to wait the full 4 years? If you have to wait just the 2 years then get citizenship otherwise decide if you want to be holed up here for another 2 years and go from there.

Good luck with your decision but dont wait until you are past the point of no return!

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Many many of us have returned and love it...some regret it. Who knows how you will feel, only you can make that choice.

We moved back to UK and love it, will never return to OZ. Life is too short to 'think'...just do it.

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Hi, we have been in Aus nearly 12 years...first 4 years were okay/fine never really had that homesickness were you want to up sticks and go back asap (wish we had...we'd of gone sooner..lol)so when we first started mentioning to a few of our friends here we were bored...we had all kinds of advice...mainly we were mad....lol...anyway we started to travel...see other states...went overseas...all cost an arm and a leg but we just took everyone else's advice...never really listened to what we really thought deep down...anyway all I can say is....(and we have been to Adelaide) if you can travel around your state and other and you feel it might make a difference try it....move to a different area if the one your in is not suited to you...etc.....(we are going back home early next year...it will be 12 years)....but it might make a difference to you. good luck

Re: Thinking of going home
 

With the current exchage rate and kids in Uk, tempting indeed.

However adelaide, well I can never understand people giving up anything to live there:blink: thats me, I just cant see the allure of the place, maybe look at some otehr bits of OZ first? Then if you return at least the wot ifs wont be in the mind, wot ifs are scary:lol:

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Thanks for all your replies, we are out and about quite a lot with friends either at parties or BBQ but its does not seem we are living in the real world if that makes sence.

We have been to Queensland and are planning a trip to Melbourne and Sydney within the next couple of months, maybe is just Adelaide but to be honest we have struggled so hard with work that it puts me off moving to another state and having to start all over again, plus we have an 18year old with us that has made friends and working in Adelaide dont think she would be too pleased to move again (in Australia )

It doesnt help that one second my OH is telling everyone that we are heading home then the next we are staying, it is so unsettling as he changes his mind from one day to the next.

We have to do another 2 years to get citzenship:eek: dont know whether i could stick it for that long.

We researched our move here quite a lot and took a few years in the planning but until you live here you dont realise just how hard it is and dont mean to be horrible but I find Australia quite bland and boring and have yet to see something that took my breath away.

Sorry for going on

Re: Thinking of going home
 

I went back to Weymouth a couple of months ago, lovely to see everyone again but was happy to come back to OZ. Dont know what Adelaide is like though in comparision.

Re: Thinking of going home
 

I see you're from Townsville!Weymouth/Townsville?Thats some comparison!:rofl:

Re: Thinking of going home
 

And Im lucky to have lived in both, love Weymouth but love it here more for now:thumbup:

Re: Thinking of going home
 

I Know my situation was different to yours as one of my reasons for coming home was a language problem, but i was on here some time ago saying the same thing as you are. I have been back for two months now and I love it, im so glad we came home.

Its the familiarity of everything and again i know my situation is different but its great just to be able to speak to other people who speak my language. I found that friends and family are more important to me now too.

We had considered moving to Australia and Adelaide would be where we would have gone, but the family and friends thing came up again.

My children love being home, as that was always a concern for me but then they are younger than yours.

I just wanted to say that i am one of those people who have come home and have absolutely no regrets.

I wish you all the luck with your decision.

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Hi, I have lived in Adelaide for the last 14 years and can honestly say that after a couple of years I had lost interest in the place. As pleasant as it is, I found it a bit too quiet and a bit isolated which suits some people fine, but not for me.
There are places to visit, as has already been mentioned, but I found that once I had visited these places I didn't feel much desire to visit again and again.
For me, South Australia just doesn't really appeal, I have been back in the UK for 3 months and am amazed at the number of interesting places there are within reasonable travelling distance and so much more accessible (especially if you don't want to have to drive everywhere like you do in South Australia).

I know which I prefer, but everyone is different.... Hope this helps.
Good luck with your decision :thumbup:

Re: Thinking of going home
 

There is no such thing as a ''crystal ball'' (obviously!) and unfortunately you just have to make the best decision you can right now. It is very hard (I know, believe me) to do this because moving countries is much, much bigger than just changing jobs or moving towns. Decisions are a lot harder to reverse and involve a lot more people and a wider range of issues/considerations.

But if you are bored now, after 18 months, I do not see why you are going to stop being bored in another year or two. The chances are that you will get more bored, not less.

What might happen is that you will get very used to be here as time goes by; which can create the illusion that you are settled and content when in fact you have just kind of resigned yourself to it, which is something very different. It is easy to confuse being familiar with a place and being actually happy there.

For me personally, and logically speaking too, boredom is likely to increase rather than decrease.

Australia is, in my view, quite dull. It is perfectly pleasant mostly, which is perhaps part of why people like it so much (less dodgy areas that need avoiding and so on) but partially because it is so ''pleasant'', it is also very ''flat''. It doesn't have any sparkle to it; it just plods along with nothing much going on.

I have likened life in Australia to sitting right at the back at a gig; the action is a long way off and you can't see the performers on stage without recourse to the screens at the side. You kind of get the sense the people in the standing section near the stage are a little less comfortable than you, but they are having a lot more fun.

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Yep agree with what you are saying

Re: Thinking of going home
 

You need to remember that a lot of Brits who are still in the UK will tell you to stay in Australia because that is what Brits do; we moan about the UK like there's no tomorrow and we believe the tabloid media absolutely. We are a self-deprecating bunch generally and Brits find it hard to sing Britain's praises in that context.

And you also need to remember that a lot of Brits living in Australia will tell you that you are an idiot to consider going back to the UK because their decision to live in Australia is belittled by another Brit turning around and going "this joint bores the arse off me''. That upsets them because they are happy in their smug little world where clever Brits move to Australia/NZ/Canada. If you question the greatness of Australia you are, in their tiny minds, questioning the greatness of them.

Re: Thinking of going home
 

We've only been here since end of 2008 ourselves (not long some people may say to know but going with our gut feeling) and although life here has been good, we have decide that we prefer living in the UK so will be back in Weymouth by Christmas, and Australia will go back to being what it has been in the past a great place to come on holiday. Since we made the decision feel so calm.

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Weymouth is a great place,as is Dorset!:thumbsup:

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Weymouth is great. But it hasn't changed much.

We've just moved back from Perth to Yeovil after 5 years.

We have made the effort to do some great walks along the South coast every weekend and I must say Portland is greatly under rated as an area of outstanding natural beauty.

Spent last Sunday walking along the cliff face to Portland Bill, taking in some fantastic scenery and seals swimming off the rocks.

If you can can get over the weather thing Britain is great. (Don't believe the tabloids - mind you they are just as bad in Australia)

Mind you Australia has a lot going for it as well.

If you are like us you will be happy to be back but miss lots of things back in Australia.

I consider myself privileged to be able to pick and choose where I live in what I consider the 2 best countries in the world....

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Ahhh Portland Bill, used to cycle down from Southwell as a kid and spent most of the summer holidays there, swimming and chatting up the grockles, bliss!! Now you're making me want to go home :ohmy:

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Yes miss Portland as well, used to work at Southwell Business Park and used to love the drive to and from work

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Well we have talked and talked and have decided to head home, not going to go until later on next year as we have got house to sell, dog to sort out and money to save but now we have made the decision it does feel better, we are going to enjoy what time we have left here and try and visit as many places that we can.

Dont regret coming here as if we hadnt tried it we would always be wondering what if, Australia is a nice place and does have some lovely places, but long term its not for us.

So for us its back to good old Weymouth

Re: Thinking of going home
 

How funny, I worked at Southwell Business Park also until 2 years ago:D

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Glad to hear you have made your decision. Such a weight is lifted when that decision is finally made.
I have been in the UK on a 3 month reccie and fly back to Adelaide on Sunday. But it won't be for good. I will be returning to the UK just as soon as I can sell my house. I know where I belong.:)

Re: Thinking of going home
 

I loved Adaliade was there for some time and would love to move back but then I travelled alot whilst there and I really enjoyed all of that to.

I cried when I had to come back to the UK.

Sonya

Re: Thinking of going home
 

What were the original reasons for going over to Oz and leaving the UK? Maybe it's because of where in Oz you have settled that you are bored. You could consider another state which in itself is not necessarily a small move but again it may fulfill the original criteria to why you came over in the first place. Adelaide is a small city and if you've come from a large city, well, it can be plain boring. Try and get involved in some clubs or other activities to meet people and this is bound to take away a lot of the boredom. You made a big move to go over so you need to consider carefully the return back.

Re: Thinking of going home
 

i like that answer ''for now'' ,its a far better way to be and dont look as anything as a permanent then you cant fail . Its the way im going to live from now on ,ive flogged this dead horse in perth for too long and i can feel europe calling for now .:)

Re: Thinking of going home
 

perfect answer and i have never thought about it like that to be honest . Saying to a brit your going home ,of course that are going to say yer mad .brilliant :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Thanks! Nice to get positive responses rather than the usual ''shut up, Will, stop bashing Australia'' crap I have to tolerate!

People don't care about other people enough to base their responses on YOU. They base their responses on THEMSELVES.

So, when you say, ''I don't like Australia'', if they DO like Australia, they will base their answer on the latter, i.e. their feelings, rather than yours. So they will very likely hint (at least) and perhaps even openly say that they think you are ''wrong'' for preferring the UK.

Secondly, people are fundamentally insecure. And I mean most people. Even though they'd never admit it. So they like THEIR decisions validated by YOUR decisions. Hence, you announcing that Australia is a boring craphole (which, I feel, it is, by the way) makes them feel insecure and faced with that insecurity, they decide to rebuild their confidence by attacking what you think.

Re: Thinking of going home
 

i agree ,i think we are all guilty of the ''I'' thing ,i know i am .lol,
I guess migration and wether its succesful or not is such a personal issue somehow one has to quantify the decision to stay or go .

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Well, if you come here and you really get off on the fact that it's sunny more often where you are in Australia then that is perhaps enough for a lot of people to know that they want to stay.

A lot of people will know that they want to stay because they have a house with an extra living room for the kids to use in Australia, whereas in the UK they just had one living room that kids and adults had to share.

I think these things are sufficient for some people.

Also, some people have hobbies/interests that are benefitted by more warm weather than in the UK.

My hobbies and interests are almost entirely hindered by living in Australia so I do not gain there at all, which probably contributes to my desire to go back to the UK at some stage, if I ever get the opportunity.

Re: Thinking of going home
 

you will get the opportunity ,we are creaters of our oppotunities to a certain degree ,movements in relationships ,growing of children ,difference in earning potential all create an opportunity although growing of children and movements in relationships are beyond our control but the spin off wether good or bad open up a new opportunity .
The secret is to take the best out of a bad situation and run with it .To wonder about what u can gain as opposed to what you may lose .
There are a lot of people in australia from all parts of the world who are not happy here , due mainly to the fact they feel they have traded everything they are for crass materialism .
Shake off a materialistic world ie big houses ,cars and lead a more nomadic lifestyle and the decisions we wrestle with are easy .Become a gypsy is the answer .

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Very true. You come here thinking that you are ''doing what's best for the kids'' (how, exactly?!) and that you will have a ''better standard of living'' in Australia (how, exactly?!). I guess for some they get their bigger house with it's swimming pool in the yard, sit back and go ''I'd never have this in Norwich''. Well, good for them, I guess. That's fine, if a bigger house brings you joy and you do not miss anything about the UK.

What if the bigger house does nothing for you? What if you don't even obtain a bigger house? What if you miss quite a number of aspects of UK life? THEN what have you ACTUALLY gained?! Mmmm, could it be...NOTHING?!!!?!?

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Well said .You articulate well!
I still believe Aussies are slightly brainwashed. re the importance and quality of life in their country. I also believe that some cannot go back for various reasons and these types are the most aggresive when you state that the place is a bit dull and you are going home.
My friend in Australia broke down when we were leaving and told me that after 13 years he could no longer stand the place. Unfortunately he is stuck with an Aussie wife and two kids.
Your analogy is spot on. I found the place culturally way behind the UK

Re: Thinking of going home
 

All true , i guess you cant buy belonging for some of us .:)

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Well i don't think i have gained an awful lot. God i really miss my :(family

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Hi Brits1,

I'm in a similar situation to you. We have 1 son who will turn 16 next Feb. We have been here in Aus for 8 years now. We've never felt fully at home here, although we seem to go through a pattern of feeling ok about Aus for a year or so, but then the feeling of wanting to go back to the UK always returns (it's such a pain as it's a great country but it doesn't make us happy!)

We've been talking of returning for years, but we always chicken out. In the past it's been because we haven't had our own place to sell to be able to use the proceeds to get back on our feet, also combined with worrying frantically about our son not getting into a good UK high school or perhaps not being accepted in high school when everyone has already got their own groups of friends (particularly as our son is a bit shy). The feeling of isolation & homesickness has returned again (it seems to get worse & more intense - not better), but we now have our own house to sell so we are in a better position. Our son won't finish his year 12 until Dec 2012, so 3 years from now & we have decided to let him finish his high school education here as it is no way ideal to move him back at 15. Once he finishes school at 18 (almost 19 actually) we will likely sell the house and head back to the UK. I have read about the 3 year home student rule and given that he will spend 2 years sitting A levels over there (not sure how much we will have to pay for the A-levels on international student basis), he can then either take a gap year or worst case we will pay international fees for the first year of any uni course he does (I think that's how it will work?)

Our son has not maintained connections with his UK school friends as he was only 7 when we came out and has no desire to return to the UK. He also admits that he isn't 100% happy in Aus, but that could be related to the fact that his parents aren't happy here. He says he will come back with us when he's 18 & I hope he wont change his mind in the next 3 years. I had a chat with him and said that if he wants to move back to Aus down the track that I would be very sad, but that I would understand totally and would help him as much as possible if that's what he wants.

I was curious how your sons feel about Aus & also the move back. Have they maintained good friendships in the UK? Are you returning back to the same place you lived originally? We have decided not to move back to the North West where we are from but instead are looking at York, as i have heard it is a good place to live & study (York or Leeds uni).

By the time we move back we will have been here 11 years and will have an 18 year old, so a very similar story to yours. I just dont wanna regret not trying the UK again and sitting in Aus when I'm 60 feeling the same as I feel now.

Re: Thinking of going home
 

Been thru all of that and believe me when you know you know . I went thru all the analyzing and the worry ,but when it gets clear there is only one way and thats to the uk regardless of consequencies . Good luck on your decision its took me years to get to sucha state of clear mind .