Originally Posted by MaggieM (Post 5544419)

Hi Trudi!

We came out here nearly three years ago because my daughter had spent a year travelling round Oz in 2000 and came back saying that she was going to come back to live in Melbourne. We applied for our visa asap because we knew that OH needed to be here before he turned 45. We knew that when we came we would have to stay for the two years to get citizenship so that we could sponsor my daughter. Meanwhile, my son, her brother, applied for New Zealand because he couldn't take the heat in Oz. While we're all merrily going through the visa hell, and rollercoaster ride of getting here, daughter meets a boy, (man), falls in love, gets married, discovers she's pregnant (two days before she gets her TRA results!!!!!) and now doesn't know if she'll ever come out here to live! Fortunately, the TRA result is valid until she turns 45 so she has plenty of time to make up her mind.

That's kids for you!! As I previously said, we make decisions that are the best we can at the time, but we can't factor every little if and/or but into them.

Meanwhile, son, daughter in law, grandson and granddaughter have been in NZ for over a year and are loving it! Husband, seven year old son and I are in Brisbane and loving it. We wait patiently to see what will happen in the future, but having come to the other side of the world so that we would be close to daughter/sister rather than spend a fortune visiting her if she was in Oz and we were in UK, we are now spending $$$$$$$$$$ visiting her in UK!

What can you do? The one thing I'd say is that I brought my elder two up to get out in the world and make a life they loved. That's what they're doing. I'm very proud of them. Secretly, I'd love them to live around the corner from me, but it's not what I brought them up to do. And, I hope that my young son is as adventurous as his brother and sister have been so far, and that I can weep quietly, while pasting a big grin on my face when he tells me what his life plan is!! (Hoping it's not the immigration rollercoaster though!!)

Sorry for long post, hope you haven't fallen asleep!!

All the very best to you,

Maggie;)

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse (Post 5521842)

The main reasons he gives for wanting to return are the fact he pays so much just for the privilage of working, including tax on earnings, licences to work, cards, courses etc. He feels the state taxes are too high with GST and the current price of food due to the alleged drought...ridiculous when no one here in WA seems to use grey water or recycled water or water saving measures, retics going all over the place and most of it being wasted in the road and pavements, basically he is angry they dont use wind power, solar power etc here to save resources when they have the elements to use.

Originally Posted by MaggieM (Post 5544419)

Hi Trudi!

We came out here nearly three years ago because my daughter had spent a year travelling round Oz in 2000 and came back saying that she was going to come back to live in Melbourne. We applied for our visa asap because we knew that OH needed to be here before he turned 45. We knew that when we came we would have to stay for the two years to get citizenship so that we could sponsor my daughter. Meanwhile, my son, her brother, applied for New Zealand because he couldn't take the heat in Oz. While we're all merrily going through the visa hell, and rollercoaster ride of getting here, daughter meets a boy, (man), falls in love, gets married, discovers she's pregnant (two days before she gets her TRA results!!!!!) and now doesn't know if she'll ever come out here to live! Fortunately, the TRA result is valid until she turns 45 so she has plenty of time to make up her mind.

That's kids for you!! As I previously said, we make decisions that are the best we can at the time, but we can't factor every little if and/or but into them.

Meanwhile, son, daughter in law, grandson and granddaughter have been in NZ for over a year and are loving it! Husband, seven year old son and I are in Brisbane and loving it. We wait patiently to see what will happen in the future, but having come to the other side of the world so that we would be close to daughter/sister rather than spend a fortune visiting her if she was in Oz and we were in UK, we are now spending $$$$$$$$$$ visiting her in UK!

What can you do? The one thing I'd say is that I brought my elder two up to get out in the world and make a life they loved. That's what they're doing. I'm very proud of them. Secretly, I'd love them to live around the corner from me, but it's not what I brought them up to do. And, I hope that my young son is as adventurous as his brother and sister have been so far, and that I can weep quietly, while pasting a big grin on my face when he tells me what his life plan is!! (Hoping it's not the immigration rollercoaster though!!)

Sorry for long post, hope you haven't fallen asleep!!

All the very best to you,

Maggie;)

Originally Posted by LouiseD (Post 5528081)

Every family is different Mike but I would advise anyone think very carefully about uprooting teenagers against their wishes. I only say this because we dragged our 17 year old daughter to Melbourne and if I could have foreseen the heartache and emotional destruction it caused her, there is no way I would have put her through it.

Back home now, I will forever live with the guilt of making that decision to drag her away from everything she knew and loved at such a vulnerable age and for not listening to her and valuing her opinions. The consequences of what we did are irreversable although things are improving now.

Good luck - hope it all works out well for you all :)

Originally Posted by brits1 (Post 5552481)

..one couple said their 16 year kept threatening to get on the plane back home...they thought it was funny as they use to say....he could'nt afford it...

Originally Posted by Margaret3 (Post 5555399)

It is a difficult situation with teens (having moved to melbourne with a 16 year old).
I would say it depends on the teen and their personality in the u.k, coz thats (hopefully), how they will (eventully be in aus).
Our 16 year old tried every trick in the book to make us stay in scotland . Yes she misses her friends and old life and no she wouldn't go back she has settled better than me:confused: teens who'd ave em:)

Originally Posted by moneypen20 (Post 5553475)

Having had a child saying much the same thing and us 'laughing' about it, I can assure you it's not because we found it funny, it's because it was the only way we could deal with a crap moment in time.

With respect (and I actually mean that) yes, older children should be involved, it's a huge decision that affects the whole family, BUT they are children and as such are the most selfish beings on the planet. They (generally speaking) have no concept of how other people may suffer from their actions or words and have little idea of life outside of their 'box'. The whole world revolves around them. We (hubby and I) as adults and as parents knew a great deal more about how our daughter would deal with the move in the long term (that period of time that lasts longer than a week) and as such had to, as near as damnit, ignore her feelings. This made us feel like crap but we have, on this occasion been proved right.

Had we accepted our daughter's decision, and not moved because she didn't want to, we would have missed out on a great experience and more than likely would have subconsciously held it against her.

Didn't mean to go on like that, but your post itched an itch I didn't know needed itching.

Originally Posted by LouiseD (Post 5562447)

I totally agree that sometimes an older head is wiser - teenagers often don't have the knowledge that only comes with years and yes they can be the most selfish of little beggers when they want to be.

But I reckon in my experience (and I can only speak for myself) that we didn't fully consider if our daughter would be able to handle the move. We were at fault for being blinded by our dream. Not hers. Ours. We should have really known our daughter and realised that she couldn't cope with such an upheaval. We should have realised that it would be too traumatic for her. We didn't and I still feel guilty and ashamed that in our particular circumstance, we were the selfish ones to sell her home and drag her away from everything and everyone she knew and loved.

Of course every child and every family are different and there are absolutly no rules about ages that kids will or won't settle. Every parent knows their own child best and the only advice I would offer to anyone thinking of emigrating with an older teenager is to really do some serious thinking about how your child will cope. Please don't be like us and just assume they will adapt.

Originally Posted by s-jmelbournewannabe (Post 5571634)

Hi Rachel,

Have followed your journey and know before you went you were having troubles with him. I was suprised that he went with you in the first place. I'm not suprised he wants to come back as he sounds quite unreliable.

It does worry me that you think everything will be ok if you come back to UK though.... The troubles wont go away and to be honest i think you will be making a big mistake.. It dosnt matter where you are in the world when your having marraige troubles. You need to sort them out first then address the issue of moving back to UK. but to be honest again, i think you should stay as he owes it to you too. why should you crumble and say 'yes sir' whenever he makes a decision about his life???

Just a thought?

All the best with everything you decide.. S-j xx:thumbup:

Originally Posted by kevinl (Post 5575908)

Has anyone considered the chance that the husband might actually be right?

As I remember this story he did some adding up before they went and worked out that it may not be right for his family.
Then he decided to give it a try, just in case he may be proved wrong.
Now he may have been proved right and the best thing for his family is to go back.
Australia is alright, its not special enough to break your family up over.
Come back, take advantage of all the things europe has to offer and stop being so selfish.

Kev