dunroving

You seem to have the perfect attitude to life. Don't you ever enjoy a good whinge?

sallysimmons

Seems almost superhuman.

I'm really positive in my real life. I've built a successful business, built a life in 3 different countries to date, and I work actively to change the things I don't like here in the US. But however hard I try to make a difference, I can't single-handledly change the culture, can't get rid of the "God and guns" mentality, can't make this a country where Newt Gingrich or Sarah Palin could never in a million years be President, can't provide universal healthcare for everyone ... and can't change myself into the type of person who doesn't care about that stuff.

So, I do my best to be happy in my day-to-day life, try to make a difference where I can, plan my exit strategy for as soon as possible, and pop in here to have a chat with like-minded people when it gets too much.

Not superhuman, but the best I can do.

robin1234

Nothing to do with making me feel better. Complaining about what is wrong with society is a healthy and essential part of civic engagement. I'm a citizen, I vote, I give money to causes I think are important, I don't hesitate to tell friends & colleagues here what I think is wrong with America and with our state, town etc. Some come out with meaningless nostrums like "it is what it is" but others will engage more positively with the issues. If everyone emulates Dr. Pangloss we will never improve anything in this country.

cosmicjunkie

Well said!

HumphreyC

That sounds like a garbled version of something that is actually true. We call it the American Revolution or the Revolutionary war, but it was really a civil war. A substantial section of the American public supported the British and British Public Opinion seems to have been evenly split between those who wanted to pursue the war and those who wanted conciliation and peace. There was strong and consistent opposition to it in most urban centres and the number of petitions against the war exceeded those in it's favour.

thedudeabides

UKBritexpat, you sum it up perfectly.
We moved over under 3 years ago and decided to cut our losses and head home. The strain of everything you described almost cost me my marriage. Luckily and incredibly we managed to sell our house, and I have found a job back in Blighty (with proper annual leave. My US job claimed their annual leave package was generous. I would argue that not getting paid for Christmas day was on a par with Scrooge). The health insurance is a depressing racket. Would seriously hate to get sick in The States. Met some wonderful people though, most of whom said they wished they could escape The States too.
I wish you luck and hope you get home with your family and wallet still relatively intact.

windsong

Whenever I hear someone say "it is what it is", I just roll my eyes!

mekadag

hi
yes as a prof in a university i do actually take the time off as soon as semester is finished i am on holiday until the fall semester and so do many of my colleagues.
mekala
southern california.

Spirrelbabe

Pretty sure we are moving back to UK as well at the end of the summer.

My Husband and I moved here (Upstate New York) last August through my husbands job transfer. It was my husbands dream to move to the states and he pushed for a transfer. I think he had been bitten by the American Dream. He would say how much of a better lifestyle we would have, a lower cost of living etc etc. I think he just wanted to see the world and have an adventure. Being the dutiful girlfriend/now wife I supported his dream. We got married then applied for Visas which was all very quick and smooth sailing. I quit my job, packed things, sold all of our furniture, moved out of our rented flat and left England, leaving behind all of our amazing friends and very close family.

Now I can't wait to go back to them and my husband... feels exactly the same. The American reality is very different to what the dream is. Only after a few months I knew I wanted to go home. My husband took a bit longer to come to my thinking but now he is even more desperate then me to come back home.

For me its the isolation, loneliness, boredom. We have not much money, I find that food costs are more than what we were paying back home, health costs are crazy even with insurance. We want to start a family but I'm not getting pregnant here as its too costly and I won't have any emotional support. We are missing so much back home, nephews being born, weddings of friends, ill relatives. I'm fed up of having my life on hold and don't feel like we're living. We have no friends here, have found it very hard to make friends and we've tried.

I would love to just up and leave, but we are saving up money to be able to go and we have to wait out the 6 month rule for taking our dog back with us, so the earliest we can go is July.

My family came out last month for 3 weeks which was nice and the house was full of voices and familiar faces. Just made us realise even more how much home is really where we're suppose to be.

America is amazing, we've travelled about and there are some beautiful sights and I'm sure there are cool places to live, but where we are, its just so quiet and lonely, nobody really interacts and have their own things they get on with.

Good luck to those who want to stay and hope those wanting to return to the motherland get there.

bandrui

That was very eloquently said. You sound very clear. July is right around the corner so get ready. All the best to you and your hubbie.

Barbara1133

Thank you, everyone, for sharing your different experiences. Reading them all has been a huge help to me. I am moving back on August 10 after being here for over 30 years. I was very young when I came out, and came over with 2 suitcases. I've wanted to move back for a number of years, and finally bit the bullet and set a date. I've even got a firm buyer for my car and the guy said he will wait until I'm ready to sell it and did I want a deposit? Now I have my (one-way) flight booked and the shippers booked (deposit paid) I veer between excitement and terror. This is what getting older does to you, I suppose.
All that's left is for me to give notice at work, and as I've been working for my boss for 20 years (I'm an exec assistant) and he is a lovely person, it is going to be hard. But my parents are getting older and I do not want to be 6,000 miles away and get bad news. That has happened to a friend of mine twice.

It took me 10 years to earn 20 days holiday, and it isn't enough. You miss birthdays, Christmases, Mother's Days and Father's Days, weddings, funerals, etc. And the journey back to the airport when you leave is always rough.

I know I should be able to get a job in London, but even so, that is a bit of a worry. Luckily I look a lot younger than my age (people are always guessing me to be about 13-15 years younger than I am) so hopefully I won't be pegged as an old biddy!

I'm so glad to have found this forum, it's been such a source of invaluable help and encouragement!

nun

I arrived in US with two suitcases 25 years ago and there have been a couple of times I almost moved back. The first time was after 3 years when my job was coming to an end and my H1-B was ending, but I met someone and got married so I stayed. Then after 8 years we got divorced and I almost moved back as I had to start again, but I stayed to be close to friends and to start an interesting new job.

I've found the US to be very good for my career and I've made a lot of friends, but it still isn't home. I've worked at US universities and big government labs so my working conditions have always been good; I get 7 weeks off (includes holidays like Christmas) and only pay $50 a month for medical insurance. But my mum is slowing down now and I almost have enough saved to retire back to the UK so I spend a lot of time on rightmove.co.uk making plans.

bandrui

Sounds like both of you have it all together!

I take it neither of you have a house to sell, or did you sell it already?

Barbara1133

No, thank goodness, I don't have a house to sell. I sat down and thought things through, and came to the conclusion that I have a job, a rented apartment and a car, all of which I could quite easily obtain elsewhere. I'm glad I don't have to wait and sell a house or condo in SoCal because it would be at a loss, and could take ages. At least all I have to do is give notice to my landlord. I'm also very lucky in that my family live in Central London and I have somewhere to call home. Without that, it would be hard to make the move back. I've also visited England at least a couple of times each year, so I'm not entirely unfamiliar with things.

I hope everyone else who wants to move home will find a way to do so.

nun

I have a house that I'd have to sell and 25 years worth of accumulated stuff and it will be a lot of work to move back. But I'm slowly selling stuff and giving things to charity. I'll take a few things back and the house won't be too hard to sell as I live in Boston and the market has stayed pretty good