UKBritExpat

I have lived in California, USA now for nearly 8 years. I have never really adjusted from my old life back in England.

After much soul searching I have broken silence to my wife that I cannot spend the rest of my life in California. I think it will take some time for her to come around. But we will be moving within the next 2 years once I finish college.

One of the biggest issues for me is that I miss my family back home and I have no quality of life here.

Weather: In Northern California it rains just as much as England. And similar grey sky. The summers are great but Autumn, Winter and Spring are cool cold and damp. Everyone moans about the weather, but it is not much better over here.

Work: I get decent money for IT work. But America is crazy about work. I get 10 holidays per year (which I have to earn) compared to 27 I used to get at my old job in England. At first this is not a big deal as you are generally excited to be in a new country, but after time in really gets to me and I am constantly tired and burnt out. Yes you can take weekend breaks but as I say over time you get worn down. There is not light at the end of the tunnel and I cannot continue to work like this for another 30+ years of my life.
Can you imagine going on a 2 week holiday and then being told you cannot do that again for another year and have no time off in between either. Think hard about that if you decide to live in the USA.
You may also say why not go contracting? Great, but then I get no health care coverage...

Healthcare: Why would you move from England where you get healthcare coverage even if you have no job to a country where you could be paying an average of $500.00 USD per month for health care. Or get a permanent job in the USA where the company gives you health coverage but it may not cover everything you need. It's like buying car insurance. Check the small print and see what you are covered for.

There are more reasons but this is the main reasons for leaving. I am worried about not re-adjusting to life back in the UK, but I fear I have no other choice now as I feel tired with America.

I also personally have made few friends, due to lack of free time. The only friends I have is my wife, my animals and another expat who lives close to me. I have an uncle and cousin that live 1 hour away. I wish I could see them more, but again I have no real free time or decent vacation. It can be lonely living here and disconnected.
I try to integrate myself and have friends at work, but I never feel really part of their culture. I am not even sure if America has any defining culture. It's a mix bag. I do miss my culture.

The one thing I have gained by this whole experience is the appreciation of my own culture, history and more knowledge of Britain.
I do like the US people, but I do feel sorry for them and how they could have so much more but are sold the American dream which is a dream.

Now I just need to try and salvage the value of my house in a sale,figure how to get my dog and cat back to England and some cash on the hip.

Thankfully, I am working on a career exit strategy to earn more cash when I return back home.

Mummy in the foothills

You're preaching to the converted here mate.
Good luck with the move, I'm in N.CA too, I love the winter hate the summer heat, we get into the 100's a lot where we are.
If you do a search on here about moving the cat and dog back you'll see a lot of information.

brizzle

I think people who want to move to N. America massively underestimate the impact of getting little vacation time. There are loads of places I want to visit and don't have the time/money. It either costs a lot to fly or I don't have the time to drive. No wonder so many retirees go RVing as they haven't had a chance to see their own country.

Obviously the size of the continent has an effect, but it is soul destroying just to be working and have one holiday a year. In the UK you can take 1 day off and have a long w/e almost anywhere in Europe. Having access to those kinds of things nourishes the soul and gives you something to look forward to. I hear what you're saying. Best of luck with your future.

sdbritguy

You summed up my last seven years here UKBritExpat. I've made a couple friends outside of work but not what I would call true friends. Everyone is busy with work or church (or so it seems) and they always have conflicting work schedules. The vacation allowance is what I miss most. And the accessibility to Europe where there are different cultures, languages and food. If everything turns out right I'm moving home to England this summer. I have my US citizenship so no worries in coming back should the grass not be as green as I remember it

sdbritguy

Exactly, I could live in England and see more of the USA than living here in the USA at this very moment.

Damn I need a vacation. I'm actually going to East Asia with the wife end of this month, ten days with no pay

brizzle

I know. I live in Vancouver, Canada. Still haven't even been to the rockies yet !! If you look at a map of N. America, Banff doesn't look that far (it's only just outside BC), but it's an 11hr drive each way (or about the equivalent of Land's end to Glasgow), or you can get expensive internal flights to Calgary.

I managed to carry over some unused holiday this year, so hoping to go on a little trip somewhere round here !!

The UK is small and overcrowded, but the upside is all the day trips/weekends away you can do. Here it's very limited in terms of where you can visit without either taking expensive flights or driving endlessly.

UKBritExpat

Yes!. I am going to get my US Citizenship. I have been here long enough now. Would hate to go through that grueling immigration process again.

UKBritExpat

You got it. I have seen more of San Francisco when I was a tourist. I now have less time(lack of vacation) to see anywhere.
Europe is great for those little breaks and it is good for the tourism industry. I wonder why sometimes America does not allow more time off for staff so they can pump more money into the tourism industry. Makes sense right?

sallysimmons

Everything you said rings true to me too.

Can't wait to leave.

victorfoxtrot

Totally agree on the holiday allowance. I'm in Toronto and came to live with my Canadian partner, but I've always said it was short term and we will re-locate to the UK in 2 years or so. It's also a family/friends thing. I've actually made some good friends/acquaintances here, but we lack family because his are a 4-5 hour flight away in Kelowna, so that means we see them once a year, maybe twice if we are lucky and can afford to do it. I also don't want to raise a family when both sets of grandparents are so far away. It sounds silly but he'll actually see more of his family being based in London, UK than he will here because of his paltry 15 days vacation - and that's good!!! I left my job in the UK with 31 days a year + all the bank holidays on top. Oh how I miss the 'using up' your holiday before the end of the year was up. Just deciding to take a Friday off and spend it in my pyjamas because I could is a luxury I really miss - well let me clarify I would miss if I were working!!

UKBritExpat

Yes it's sounds crazy to most American's, but when we moved back to the UK for a short while, I had 29 days holiday at the NHS. I was so used to working the American way that I forgot about taking time off.
I remember my boss coming into my office after about 4 months and said "You need to start using your holidays...when can you take a week off?". I found that just very amusing and still do when I think about it.
Here I have to beg to take extra days off without pay...yet back home they pretty much force you out the door.

victorfoxtrot

Have to agree with UKBritExpat on the fact that it would surely boost the tourism industry in North America if the standard was say 20 days per year rather than 10. Having said that, I guess if they had more then they might be tempted to go further afield, so it is not a given I suppose that it would benefit the home tourism industry. I just find it odd that both countries are absolutely massive, yet lack of vacation days doesn't exactly encourage people to stay close to their families it simply makes it harder, which is very sad.

Bluegrass Lass

More vacation days are never going to happen here. The gov't would probably have to actually set a regulation to force companies to give more, which wouldn't go over too well given the current state of politics going on. Cause God forbid we actually force companies to give employees better benefits.

Anyways, OP, I completely understand and I'm the USC half in my marriage. You actually commented today on my spouse's thread - the one by HighlandPenguin - and I agree with you. Life is short, and one must determine what makes one happy and just do it.

Btw, my OH is also in IT. I'd be curious to know what 'exit strategy' you are doing to help you get better pay back in the UK?

cosmicjunkie

Gawd....you paint a bleak picture! I will be moving to San Diego in Autumn. Am I going to hate it? I've been there lot's of times now and it seems like a beautiful place, but I know one can be taken in. Going on holiday is never like actually living there. I'm fortunate yet unfortunate at the same time as I do not have any loving family waiting for me back in the Uk. So, I will not be pining for anybody inparticular. I'm hoping it will make the move easier

sallysimmons

I don't think you can know how you will feel until you've been here a while. I loved it here for years - it's just that reality started to set in about 3 years ago and I realized I wanted out. But I was happy for 10 years or so which isn't all that bad. And if I had stayed in the UK, I would always have wondered and probably regretted not taking the chance. Life is about adventures so go have yours!

San Diego certainly has some of the best weather anywhere in the US